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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she should do the overtime

218 replies

Redrupunzle · 05/07/2019 10:58

So I started a new job last month, it's low paid (8.50) and is temporary, to cover maternity leave. Tbh I'm way over qualified but I've been out of the work place for nearly 4 years after having my eldest and now my youngest is 1 I'm wanting some part time work in this field just to dip my toe back in and freshen my cv a bit. I've no intention of working more then two days until my youngest starts school and I've definitely no intention of working weekends ever again. I've done jobs since I was 14 and worked all hours and now I want to put my family and my life first, I'm also starting a course in September to freshen up some skills. Anyway that's the background. So the job is 2 days per week and I made it clear that that's all I could do, hr we're still delighted to have me on board. My manager has now come and said the woman on the reception desk has two weeks holiday coming up and I need to help cover. I said I don't really have childcare but I'll ask and try and do an extra weekday on each of the weeks. Shes not happy and said she needs me to do the Saturday. I said "I'm sorry I can't I spend the weekends with my kids", She then said "I understand that but if you don't cover it I'll have to and my kids are in nursery 8-6 5 days a week and I really need my weekends with them". I replied that I was sorry I couldn't help. Shes not happy and I get that but imo I'm not paid well enough to want to do a Saturday, her salary is at least 22k (I know as my previous job was her job in another company) and it's her responsibility, that's what happens in her position. My friend disagrees and says as "someone lower" I should be picking up the slack. I feel I made my position very clear right at the beginning.

OP posts:
that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 05/07/2019 12:45

I've made a big error,shes actually only at least 32k

still not a huge amount, but that doesn't change my own point anyway.

Lweji · 05/07/2019 12:47

It really doesn't matter how much she earns.

And do you know if it's really her choice to have her children in childcare all week?

It's entirely up to you, and you seem to consider this job with extreme disregard. By all means uphold your position if you don't need it or her recommendation letter.

Bourbonbiccy · 05/07/2019 12:48

You are well within your rights to say no, it if it were now and I had to choose a weekend with my son or working for £8 an hour, if I didn't need the money, sorry I would be in the park on Saturday !!.

You have to be careful, "not being able to be a team player " is thrown around by management to try and make people do things they know full well, is over and above what is expected of the employee. It's a way, if you excuse the phrase, but basically taking the piss out of employees, guilting them into doing a task that we know contractually, we can't enforce.

But if you want to work your way up in the organisation, management also use this as the unspoken way of getting yourself a good reference, priority when distributing hours or whatever your end goal is.

No one can really advise without knowing your end goal,

Oliversmumsarmy · 05/07/2019 12:51

The words Teams Player are about how you work with other people.

Unfortunately it has taken on the meaning of general dogs body who will do anything.

In the grand scheme of things no one will thank you and once you have crossed the Rubicon of working Saturdays you won’t be able to refuse the next time.

You were quite clear from the outset what you would and wouldn’t do.

I am sure the manager will find others to cover the Saturday.

I wouldn’t even offer to work any other days.

Do great work on the days you are there. No one will give a toss a year from now if you worked or didn’t work a particular Saturday

Gin96 · 05/07/2019 12:52

@FrancisCrawford I work part time 8.30 to 1.30, only cover Monday to Friday and I get double time, they only ask me if there desperate, i’ve just worked 2 weeks overtime as no one else about to to cover, so i will have a good pay packet this month 😊

cherryblossomgin · 05/07/2019 12:52

Why not do one Saturday as PP have said. I always help when I can at work because if I want time off or a swap then my manager is more likely to be help.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 05/07/2019 12:53

Personally I’d do one each.

ElizaPancakes · 05/07/2019 12:54

Well you’re not obliged to work it, but I think you’re being churlish to say you can’t do one because of your kids. You only work two days a week, there’s a huge difference in increasing hours to 3/7 days (where you have definite childcare) and increasing to 6/7 which she would have to do.

I think saying no with no prior commitments will sour the relationship with your employer.

Pinkmalinky · 05/07/2019 12:55

One Saturday away from your DC will not hurt. YABU, sometimes you need to take one for the team.

You’re lucky to have a job at all being so inflexible. Most workplaces would not appreciate this.

PuppyMonkey · 05/07/2019 12:56

OP, you've clearly made up your mind and tbh I can't fault you. Manager is probably used to staff saying "yes" to these types of request, which is probably why she just assumed she could get you to do the extra shifts.

But, and this is just a suggestion, would you be willing to swap one of your weekdays for one of the Saturdays if it helps manager out at all? So you get an extra day in the week with the kids instead?

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 05/07/2019 13:00

You said you couldn't do Saturdays so I don't know what she expected really. I would do one of the Saturdays though because she doesn't get to spend as much time with her kids. You say it's a choice, but you don't know her circumstances.

Idontwanttotalk · 05/07/2019 13:02

@Ragwort

"However, your attitude comes over as being rather superior (‘I’m way over qualified’) and in most jobs there is an element of being a team player’."
The OP does not come across as being superior. She was providing background and just stating facts. She has offered to do an extra weekday so that is being a team player and going over and above.

OP, you made it crystalc clear you would only work 2 days per week and not at weekends and they were happy to take you on. They shouldn't backtrack like this.
Your manager needs to make other arrangements to cover the receptionist's holiday.

As you only started last month the manager presumably knew the receptionist would-be off for 2 weeks this month. If you were expected to cover then they should have said so earlier so you could have turned the job down if you wished.

So your Manager has to cover. So what?

As long as you do your job well you have nothing to fear from a reference. Employers only disclose minimal info anyway. If it is going to cause problems the speak to HR about it.

Shinesweetfreedom · 05/07/2019 13:05

Stick to your guns.You are minimum wage.You already had it agreed you were working two days and two days only

TheBiscuitStrikesBack · 05/07/2019 13:14

It’s one Saturday out of 52 if you both do one. Ask for double time.

Battenburg1978 · 05/07/2019 13:14

Are you temping with them through an agency? If so surely they could supply another temp for the weekend cover at the same cost.

This is very poor form and I would also be wary of an ongoing 'hours creep' in the role - I had a perm role once where it was not at all mentioned at any stage of the process that there was an expectation that the day team would cover the night PAs evening shift when she was on hols/ill (on top of a full day's work) for no overtime! Over the space of a few months this widened to asking us to cover the evening shift between us as well as a rotating weekend shift! Unsurprisingly I did not stay long there. I did not have kids then but would have been stuffed if so.

Ultimately how much I would pitch in would depend on how much I wanted to stay in the role and needed the money!

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 05/07/2019 13:15

I find the attitude "them" (management) vs "us (poor little employees) absolutely childish and pathetic. You are all just people doing different role, no need to throw your toys out of the pram.

That said, I still agree that not making holiday (and what about sickness?) cover requirement when you employ someone is not acceptable.

I am also amazed that people seem to think Saturday childcare is easy to find.

You shouldn't use your children as an excuse though, you can't work Saturday, you can't. No need to justify it.

Gin96 · 05/07/2019 13:19

It starts with 1 Saturday and then you end up being asked all the time, for £8 an hour it’s not worth doing, stick to your guns 😊

Idontwanttotalk · 05/07/2019 13:21

*"She then said "I understand that but if you don't cover it I'll have to and my kids are in nursery 8-6 5 days a week and I really need my weekends with them"
That's rather manipulative of her to say that. Not professional at all.

Your Manager's work and arrangements are for her to sort. She has made the decision to work and put her children into nursery. It is not your problem that she has failed to organise something in advance.

What would they have done if you had not been there?

She is a Manager and clearly knows she has responsibility for covering/arranging cover for this role. It should have been brought up at your interview. It wasn't.

It's a shame she doesn't see her DC much but she made the choice to do the job she does.

I hope you stick to your guns. They need to plan for these obvious eventualities and be proactive about arranging cover. Doesn't sound like a good company to work with such piss-poor organisation.

Branleuse · 05/07/2019 13:21

id do one each. It sounds like you think you are better than them, but you chose this job too and it pays to be flexible. I think 2 weeks of doing a saturday wouldnt do you any harm

Pursefirst · 05/07/2019 13:21

You should do one Saturday each.

I agree with the PP's who said that you might need a reference from them in the future. I know I certainly wouldn't say more than "OP worked here from XX to XX" if you refused to help out when I was really stuck.

DinosaursWouldEatYou · 05/07/2019 13:22

OP stand by your availability, YANBU.

If the receptionist is going on 2 week holiday it was up to management to arrange cover before agreeing to it not after. You've been very clear with what you can and can't work, and she shouldn't be using your excuse as seeing your children on weekends as her own, because then you should both work it or neither.

From my experience managers and a lot of work places I've been at don't care for your family life no matter how clear you are about it from the beginning and one small favour gives them the idea you can do it all the time.

Don't let them take advantage.

LauraMJ · 05/07/2019 13:22

You sound like a nightmare and as a Hr professional I avoid hiring people like you at all costs. Let's just hope you never ever need someone to cover for you in this job.

HorridHenrysNits · 05/07/2019 13:25

YANBU to not do it, notwithstanding that it might be to your advantage to be seen as team player yada yada. But it's fine to do what suits you best, and they should have made clear if there's going to be an ongoing expectation of weekend work, which it sounds like they want. You're both BU to make this about who's more entitled to time off, who sees more of their kids, salary etc. It was ok for her to ask, for you to refuse and it's now her responsibility to arrange cover. If she doesn't want that responsibility, there are other jobs. This is why I don't manage any more.

That's an increasingly common reference format these days anyway pursefirst...

Dumakey · 05/07/2019 13:26

Bourbonbiccy

You are well within your rights to say no, it if it were now and I had to choose a weekend with my son or working for £8 an hour, if I didn't need the money, sorry I would be in the park on Saturday !!.

This. With bells on Grin

BarbedBloom · 05/07/2019 13:27

I am a manager in a similar job to her and I can ask others to cover but if they decline i am expected to cover. In this case she is fine to ask, but if you have made your availability clear then YANBU

It is nice to be a team player of course, but unfortunately part of being senior is sucking up things like this even if the pay is crap