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Original poster

Mums DP sharing a bed with her kids

33 replies

username8808 · 05/07/2019 10:03

Do you think this is weird?

If a mum has DC that tend to sleep in the bed or get into the bed for a cuddle in the middle of the night if her DP is there and they share.

OP posts:
JagerPlease · 05/07/2019 10:44

Not really no, presumably they know the DP? Otherwise where is the DP supposed to sleep?

BrexitBingoGenerator · 05/07/2019 10:46

Um, no- hasn’t everyone had kids who crawl in between their mum and dads in the night?

Is DP not their dad?

NoSauce · 05/07/2019 10:46

Not the father of the dc? Depends how long they’ve together I guess?

Teddybear45 · 05/07/2019 10:47

I don’t see a problem with this.

SylviaAndSidney · 05/07/2019 10:48

How long have they been together?

herculepoirot2 · 05/07/2019 10:48

Goodness me. Some people have nasty little minds.

SimonJT · 05/07/2019 10:48

Not odd at all, my son gets in my bed almost every night, I certainly wasn’t going to stop him and I wouldn’t chuck my partner out of bed either.

AlaskanOilBaron · 05/07/2019 10:48

I would hope that anyone who has children who still climb into bed with them would have judgement enough to not have only a very well-established partner in their bed (dare I say, spouse?).

YouJustDoYou · 05/07/2019 10:51

Depends, doesn't it. A dp she's known for a short time? A no from me. A long term partner who's raised them since forever? I don't see the issue.

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 05/07/2019 10:51

if it's a one-night stand, very weird.

if's if the kids father, wtf are you on about?

Lweji · 05/07/2019 10:58

The mother is there, the DC need comfort.

What is the problem?

LagunaBubbles · 05/07/2019 11:00

And the problem is?

SylviaAndSidney · 05/07/2019 11:01

What is the problem?

Well it hasn’t been established how long she has known him for one.

usernameuser · 05/07/2019 11:03

You need to give us more info, OP.
How old are the kids and how long has he been her DP?

WillYouDoTheFandango · 05/07/2019 11:14

As everyone says age and length of relationship make a massive difference.

My DS is 6 and my DP has lived with us for a year now. If DS is unwell/has a nightmare and needs to come in with me, DP goes and gets on the couch. If DP had been around as long as DS could remember it would be different I think.

Original poster
username8808 · 05/07/2019 11:49

Should've clarified I mean not their dad!!

Someone was saying to me that it's completely weird for any mum to allow this and I didn't agree, I think it's weird that people think it's bad if they've been around the child for a while!

OP posts:
AlaskanOilBaron · 05/07/2019 11:55

Someone was saying to me that it's completely weird for any mum to allow this and I didn't agree, I think it's weird that people think it's bad if they've been around the child for a while!

I think the problem is that a hell of a lot of relationships that seem stable after a year, for example, go on to break down and then of course you move onto the next one, and in the space of a childhood you could have a fair few men sharing a bed with you and your child.

Which is really pretty grim, really.

SylviaAndSidney · 05/07/2019 11:57

It would certainly have to be quite a while for me not to pull my judgey pants up around my neck.

Aaarrgghhh · 05/07/2019 12:03

I don’t see a problem at all. My daughter had a sleepover at four. I’m friends with the mum and I know her partner. My daughter got upset and so she was sat in there bed with ice cream watching a movie. She fell asleep and so they left her to sleep there and obviously slept in their own bed too. When she told me she was relieved I didn’t have an issue. If my child was comfortable and it calmed her then I’ve no issue. I don’t automatically assume any male will hurt her. I find it sad some people would see it as bad full stop, and I get it I was abused as a child by my mothers husband.

SylviaAndSidney · 05/07/2019 12:08

Sheesh, I wouldn't have allowed that Aaarrgghhh, and I don't believe every male would automatically hurt a child, but I'm removing any possibilities as and when I can.
To each their own though.

Aaarrgghhh · 05/07/2019 12:11

SylviaAndSidney I completely hear where you are coming from. I was unsure if I was right to be okay about it but I know both parents, they are fine in my view in fact I’d trust them more than my own mother and my child felt comfortable and came home happy. She hasn’t had a sleepover since though, that’s because I don’t feel she handled it all too well and so we will wait a bit longer.

SylviaAndSidney · 05/07/2019 12:14

My daughter wouldn't sleep anywhere until she was about 12, I always had to go and pick her up at around 7pm "because she had tummy ache" Grin

GleefulGlitch · 05/07/2019 12:14

If the kids are cuddling up to mum and mum is in the middle between DC and partner why would it be an issue?

usernameuser · 05/07/2019 13:43

I have to say that's a bit unusual Aaarrgghhh. I don't think most men, or women actually, would be happy to have a 4 year old on a sleepover in their bed with them - they may get accused of all sorts Confused
If your Dd was upset why didn't they phone you to come and get her?

Aaarrgghhh · 05/07/2019 13:48

They didn’t call because it was the first hiccup that night. She settled and then fell asleep, would have been worse to wake her to bring her home so late. She was home the next morning and was fine. But like I say, she wasn’t able to handle it very well so sleepovers won’t be happening for a while. I feel a bit silly now for being okay with it. I was unsure at first but all was fine so I didn’t think to worry myself when nothing bad happened.

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