Mums DP sharing a bed with her kids

[username8808]

Do you think this is weird?

If a mum has DC that tend to sleep in the bed or get into the bed for a cuddle in the middle of the night if her DP is there and they share.

If the kids are cuddling up to mum and mum is in the middle between DC and partner why would it be an issue?

If it’s someone they’ve known for as long as they can remember, as someone put it nicely up thread, then maybe it’s ok.

No one wants to remember their mother or father having a lot of partners, particularly ones that were in their bed as they toddled in after a nightmare or getting sick. Pretty obvious really.

I’d feel murderous if my husband and I were to split and he allowed my kids to sleep with another woman, but they’re teenagers so it’s not going to happen.

It depends on what the circumstances but it's always healthy to keep back small dose of doubt. Too many children ARE sexually abused and usually by step family or partners.

A very much older (16)years brother in law used to cuddle on sofas with me lying down. Turned out he was sex addict and totally deviant ie prostitutes on honeymoon etc.

I don't remember abuse from him but looking back who the fuck knows what he was thinking whilst spooning with me .

It never ever hurts to be a little careful around small vulnerable child.

Me and my partner would have no issue with my godson climbing into bed with us if he had had a nightmare on our sleepover days. and his mother wouldn't either. But it does depend how long the partner has been around.

I’m single with kids and dating and I don’t think I would be comfortable with it, and certainly think you need to respect the thoughts of the other parent, ~however fucking useless he may be~.

Perhaps if the partner is very very long term and has know the children for years then MAYBE but at that stage they would be too old to get in.

To be honest in the very tiny tiny chance I ever get to the stage where I have a partner share my bed and a little one crawled in, I think I’d probably relocate to their bed leaving partner to sleep.

Oh and go say, for me, it’s not really about abuse. I think that could happen regardless of bed sharing!

It’s more about personal space, and learning boundaries with non family, or even just not parents. Can’t explain just gut feeling.

@username8808
Reverse it and see how you feel?

Can’t see an issue at all. Maybe weird if it’s a new partner but with a long term partner, no problem.

My DD definitely climbed into bed next to me when DP was there once or twice. We’d been together 2-3 years at that point and she was next to me so not in between us. Definitely didn’t feel weird to anyone involved...

My son gets into bed with me and my husband as does our biological child. Ds1 doesn’t see his bio dad so my husband is his dad as far as he’s concerned .