I have woken this morning to a text from my brother informing me my godmothers husband has had a stroke (l know this) and instructing me to be nice to our mother this weekend (she is coming to visit me). That’s literally all it says. More than just a little condescending and rude!
I’m fuming. For clarity he lives abroad, does his own thing 24/7 and keeps my Mum at arms length as much as possible. He claims he forgot my Mum’s birthday one year, cue no card / present / phone call. They share the same birthday so no excuse! In terms of our relationship it’s quite on his terms with him going off the radar for a month or weeks at a time. He often visits near where l live which l sometimes find out about after or during. I suggest meeting up but often he doesn’t even reply to my messages
My mother can be rather hard work. Things have to be her way or she escalates very quickly. When my Dad died her behaviour was very poor -arguing with all of his family, verbally abusing me (you didn’t love him, you let him down etc), refusing to go to his funeral as she hated the rest of us etc. They had been apart for 20 years by that point so an unusual reaction in many ways. My mum finds it impossible to see other people’s perspectives which means she can be quite tactless and unfeeling. My DP thinks l have the patience of a saint, just from the 20 line text messages she sends me! I challenge her behaviour when warranted, in contrast my brother feeds into it briefly, then jumps on a plane and disappears. Leaving the rest of us to deal with things
There is a huge back story -as there often is with most families so l am trying to include relevant information but not bombard! I’m trying to take a breath before l fire off a message back to my brother