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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoyed at nursery

37 replies

Biancadelrioisback · 04/07/2019 19:52

Genuinely curious so please be honest.
DS has been going to nursery 1 day a week for nearly 2 years. Very small groups.
They are okay, not amazing but not awful. Very average. It is the only nursery that realistically works for us in terms of location and timings etc. Anyways, we're generally happy with them.
So this week, sent DS in with shorts, t-shirt and hoodie on. It's always red hot in the nursery so the hoodie was more for the journey and if they went outside and it was chilly. When I came to pick him up, he was just in shorts and t-shirt. Quickly glanced in his bag and saw a tiny bit of the hoodie at the bottom under loads of stuff (we send him in with his potty, wipes etc as per their request). They said he had been fine, nothing to report really.
When we got home and I was emptying his bag, i saw the hoodie and it was ruined. Marker pen all over (it's yellow, pen was black), paint that looked like it had been rubbed in, something that looked like blood but I'm assuming it isn't as they would have told me about that, and a rip on the sleeve.
I'm annoyed! The hoodie wasn't expensive but I really liked that one and ive never had anything come back in this state before! I could accept that these things just happen if they had of told me, but it feels like they tried to hide the hoodie under all the stuff. AIBU to complain? Not 'guns blazing' or anything, but ATBU to not have told me? Would you expect them to tell you when an item of clothing is ruined? Am I expecting too much?

OP posts:
Dandelion1993 · 04/07/2019 19:54

They should have told you yes, but it is a nursery. We only ever sent DD to nursery in stuff that we didn't care about getting ruined.

ReganSomerset · 04/07/2019 19:55

I think children ought to wear clothes that you don't mind being ruined to nursery. Most people buy 'nursery clothes' for that reason, often second hand. I think YABU, sorry.

Original poster
Biancadelrioisback · 04/07/2019 19:55

Yeah I do normally but just grabbed the first hoodie to hand out the door and honestly didn't expect it to get ruined. I suppose that's me being naïve

OP posts:
ReganSomerset · 04/07/2019 19:56

Many, not most*

Original poster
Biancadelrioisback · 04/07/2019 19:56

I'm just really annoyed that they 'hid it' if that makes sense.

OP posts:
thedevilcamefromthehimber · 04/07/2019 19:57

I understand it is frustrating but I only send my daughter to nursery in clothes I know will get marked, mucky or ruined. She looked like she had been rolling in the dirt when I picked her up Wednesday lol.

winecigsandchoc · 04/07/2019 19:57

If I got a hoodie like that back then I’d just think “wow they’ve had as a good day!” And let it go. Only send your child in in stuff you’re prepared to get ruined!

BooseysMom · 04/07/2019 19:57

YANBU! I would feel exactly the same tbh. There are supposed to be over-alls for painting, etc. Maybe just mention it next time or email them. (I hate confrontation!) It's a shame there isn't another better one close to you. Good luck

AndBreatheJustBreathe · 04/07/2019 19:57

Everyone knows you don’t put clothes you actually care about into nursery!

MsRabbitRocks · 04/07/2019 19:59

Nursery is not at fault here, in my opinion. This in fact, highlights what a great time they gave him. Never send in clothes you would be upset if they got ruined or lost.

TerribleTwosPhase · 04/07/2019 20:00

Yes they should have told you, but I've just picked DD up covered in paint because she managed to get it down and poured it all over herself. I only send her in clothes that i dont mind getting ruined and thats including coats or jumpers that are mainly for the journey in case she is playing outside. I keep anything expensive or anything I like for at home (which at her age she still probably manages to ruin even when im there 😂)

MichonnesBBF · 04/07/2019 20:02

When you say hidden, could it not just be that the potty, wipes and other stuff was taken out first thing to keep in the bathroom/changing area and kept there for the whole session.

So the hoodie has just been placed in the bag when it was taken off , then everything else placed on top at home time?

whitehalleve · 04/07/2019 20:04

This happens all the time. I just look at the clothing and think it looks like they've had a fun day. I don't send her to nursery in the clothing I really love.

bobbybella · 04/07/2019 20:04

Like a pp, I put it down to her having a brilliant day! That's why I send her in crappy clothes. Do feel awful though if I send her in a stained t-shirt that's been in the wash or whatever. Just don't send him in clothes that you don't want ruined,

whitehalleve · 04/07/2019 20:05

You've done ok if this is the first time it has happened in 2 years!

chocpop · 04/07/2019 20:05

The nursery isn't at fault for your child's clothing being ruined (kids will be kids as we all know), but they should have just took you aside and said "Hey, look, play got a big messy today and it got on their hoodie before we realised. It would be good if you could send your child in clothes you don't mind getting ruined because of the nature of the activities we'll be doing if that's ok!"

Sadie789 · 04/07/2019 20:05

My DC comes home from nursery every day head to toe in paint, glitter, glue, mud, food, you name it. Shoes get it, hoodies, t shirts, leggings, socks. I think it’s a healthy sign that a good time was had all day learning new things and doing all the messy stuff that is less easy to do at home. Only ever buy cheap stuff for nursery and accept that the chance is it will get ruined. Think it’s serious U to expect otherwise.

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 04/07/2019 20:05

Honestly it wouldn’t bother me. I think a messy child is a sign of a child who has had a good day.

bobbybella · 04/07/2019 20:06

Ps she often gets sent back in other kids clothes, and stuff has gone missing etc. Supermarket clothes are the way forward!

TerribleTwosPhase · 04/07/2019 20:08

Theres something like this up in Dds nursery and i actually think its really good Smile

Annoyed at nursery
IncrediblySadToo · 04/07/2019 20:08

I wouldn’t imagine it was ‘hidden’ so much as the other stuff was used afterwards and out on top of it.

Tbh if it was an article of clothing I really liked I’d be upset, partly at them and partly at myself. Mostly st myself for putting it in him for nursery but a bit at them fit nit telling me, especially about the rip- clothes don’t get ripped from normal play and ‘art’ at nursery ‘something’ must have happened and I’d want to know what, it just have it brushed under the rug.

Can you buy another one the same still? I’d do that if it were me and make sure he has another hoodie on hand that I wouldn’t be upset if it was wrecked

At least it’s only 1 day pw you need to put him in ‘don’t care about clothes’

user2085372673 · 04/07/2019 20:10

I really doubt they ‘hid’ it. I suspect they left it on, he did painting, then took it off, put in bag and then needed other things from bag and so that went to the bottom.

YABU - don’t send your kids to nursery in special clothes, especially not light yellow as it’s so easy to mark. There is loads of paint and other messy stuff and they can’t keep on top of everyone’s clothes. Just accept that this top is gone and move on. Send him in clothes you don’t like from now on and be pleased he’s getting to do so much messy play.

Tumbleweed101 · 04/07/2019 20:12

Your child may have put it in the bag themselves if they got hot and staff may not have known the state.

Children get filthy at nursery, lose socks (even shoes!) , get soaked - all sorts - it’s impossible to keep track of everything. If the staff had noticed anything too bad they’d likely have mentioned it.

EatsShoootsAndLeaves · 04/07/2019 20:16

Put him in clothes you don't mind him getting messy in. My DS is 4, and comes home from school in a right state most days. He had marker pen scribbles in his armpits the other day, so they aren't even accidental marks Hmm

KeepFuckingOff · 04/07/2019 20:23

They haven’t hidden it it’s just normal everyday stuff for them that clothes get messy, it sounds like you just don’t like them very much so are finding excuses to accuse them of things.
Don’t put good clothes on your child for nursery, they haven’t got time to police clothing to ensure it stays clean.