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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Annoyed at nursery

37 replies

Biancadelrioisback · 04/07/2019 19:52

Genuinely curious so please be honest.
DS has been going to nursery 1 day a week for nearly 2 years. Very small groups.
They are okay, not amazing but not awful. Very average. It is the only nursery that realistically works for us in terms of location and timings etc. Anyways, we're generally happy with them.
So this week, sent DS in with shorts, t-shirt and hoodie on. It's always red hot in the nursery so the hoodie was more for the journey and if they went outside and it was chilly. When I came to pick him up, he was just in shorts and t-shirt. Quickly glanced in his bag and saw a tiny bit of the hoodie at the bottom under loads of stuff (we send him in with his potty, wipes etc as per their request). They said he had been fine, nothing to report really.
When we got home and I was emptying his bag, i saw the hoodie and it was ruined. Marker pen all over (it's yellow, pen was black), paint that looked like it had been rubbed in, something that looked like blood but I'm assuming it isn't as they would have told me about that, and a rip on the sleeve.
I'm annoyed! The hoodie wasn't expensive but I really liked that one and ive never had anything come back in this state before! I could accept that these things just happen if they had of told me, but it feels like they tried to hide the hoodie under all the stuff. AIBU to complain? Not 'guns blazing' or anything, but ATBU to not have told me? Would you expect them to tell you when an item of clothing is ruined? Am I expecting too much?

OP posts:

Thursday452poh · 04/07/2019 20:27

They’ve not “hidden it” and I think you would be unreasonable to complain. It’s just back in his bag.
My DS has come home today with mud pen and food all over his T-shirt, muddy handprints on his back... it won’t come off as the T-shirt is white with marvel characters. I’m not bothered as clearly he’s had a fab day. He does through a pair of jeans every 3/4 weeks from ripping holes in the knees. Such is life with boys.
Nursery don’t alert me to his clothing being dirty etc- but they do for injuries as I’d expect them too!

Beautiful3 · 04/07/2019 20:44

This happens all of the time in nursery. I bought seperate clothes from asda, specifically for nursery. The messy they are, the happier they are! I kept her nice clothes for outside nursery.

Original poster

Biancadelrioisback · 04/07/2019 20:48

Your child may have put it in the bag themselves if they got hot and staff may not have known the state.

Definitely not. Bags are kept upstairs behind a gate well away from the kids

OP posts:

Original poster

Biancadelrioisback · 04/07/2019 20:50

it sounds like you just don’t like them very much so are finding excuses to accuse them of things.

Definitely not the case! I'm amazed my OP read like that. I am being honest, they aren't amazing but they're perfect for us in terms of cost, times, location etc. As I say, we are generally happy with them!

OP posts:

Original poster

Biancadelrioisback · 04/07/2019 20:53

Thank you all for giving me perspective. I just wish they had of mentioned it, especially the rip! As PP says, that has happened on something, not just regular art and crafts. He's only 2 (nearly 3) so I would be quite surprised if he managed to rip it himself, he's never ripped any clothes before.

As I said, I do usually send him in in 'scruffs' but just grabbed a hoodie on the way out and it happened to be that one. I'm gonna see if I can buy it again and keep that one as his 'nusery hoodie'

OP posts:

missyB1 · 04/07/2019 20:55

To be fair if any kids in our Nursery really muck up an item of clothing we do tell the parents on hand over. We quite often wash clothes as well ( we have washing machine and tumble dryer). If an item of clothing was damaged I would definitely tell the parent.

Readytogogogo · 04/07/2019 20:58

Yeah, I send my eldest in her worst stuff. Frankly, I'm just delighted that the messy stuff happens on their time and not mine .

BlueBuilding · 04/07/2019 21:00

Is it definitely his one?

I'd ask about the rip, but not the dirt. It's quite difficult to rip a hoodie, so I would want to know what happened. It's completely reasonable to ask that if your son can't tell you.

TeachesOfPeaches · 04/07/2019 21:00

My son comes home absolutely covered in shit every single day from nursery. I now send him back in the stained (but washed) clothes. No chance I'm spending money on clothes to get ruined.

Dungarees · 04/07/2019 21:09

Sorry but yabu to blame the nursery.

I totally get why you are annoyed. You sent him in the hoody thinking it would probably be taken off anyway, instead it's been ruined.

But really I think we all know that any clothes sent to nursery are sent at your own risk. The nursery staff have enough to do as it is.

Fantababy · 04/07/2019 21:19

Do they not put aprons on them? My wee one always has one of these long sleeved Ikea bibs when she's painting, etc.

Riv · 04/07/2019 21:27

Meanwhile, is the rip repairable? They are often fairly invisible if repaired from the inside with the right colour thread.
If it is, then a vanish bar, salt and cold water are your friends, hot water will set the paint and you’ll never get it out then.
Soak in cold water and salt (handful in a bucket) then rub the stains with the vanish bar. Finally wash at 30 or 40 with your favourite non bio. The stains should all come out. ( red or purple paint may take a second go)

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