AIBU: swearing ban at work

[JammieJones]

We’ve all recently been moved around offices and I’ve ended up in an office which has a swearing ban. I’d been there 2 hours when I was told by member of staff that she doesn’t like swearing and doesn’t want it in her office. I hadn’t sworn she was just letting me know.

We are the same level at work and after asking other members of staff who’ve worked with her for a long time she really really hates swearing and pulls people up on it.

Fair enough she doesn’t want people screaming fucking cuntbadger across the office but crap, damn and bloody are also on the banned list.

I realise I’ve come into “her” office but AIBU to think she can’t police other adults language (especially as we are all the same grade). I don’t particularly like the egg sandwiches she eats every day but I’m not going to ban them!

I would just completely ignore her if she pulls you up on it, completely blank her and carry on with what you are doing . If it comes from the top then you need to try and stop but seriously, fuck that shit!

I used to be in the Army. 'nuff said I think. I swear like a trooper, not much at work ("bastarding fucking bollocking printer" occasionaly every day ) and not when anyone from outside (customers, head office, whatever) are there, but sometimes only a "bloody bastard" will do.

You can tell people who've worked with me because (I'm not in the uk) they tend to say "bloody bastard" too, whatever language they'Re speaking.

If you or anyone else in the office, OP, speaks another language, I'd be tempted to switch mid-conversation if she said "language" and tell her you thought it was a game.

Deffo mention the egg sandwiches though. That comes under the UN description of Cruel and Unusual Punishment in an office (not in a break room though)

Ignore her, she has no authority over you and is extremely petty.

You are all adults and can cope, also words are not offensive in themselves it is the actions and attitudes behind them that can be.

@Gth1234 as far as I'm aware the person making these demands has zero authority over OP or her colleagues. So no Op won't need to look for a job and the colleague is shit out of luck.

@Contraceptionismyfriend

OK, yes I see.

I read it as her boss "she doesn't like it in her office", but I see they are just co-workers.

I still think there is no need for coarse language.

@Gth1234 oh do fuck off mate

There's need for swearing as there's loads of scientifically positive benefits to swearing and to be frank i think if you have a problem with people swearing you shouldn't have a problem with people policing one of your habits or characteristics.

Swearing can give us a greater sense of power and control over a bad situation. By swearing, we show, if only to ourselves, that we are not passive victimsbutempowered to react and fight back. This can boost ourconfidenceandself esteemandmotivate and mobilize us to takecorrective action.

swearing, andhumour in general,can helpto restore perspective on a certain person orsituation. This means you're less likely to take your agression out on the person or situation.

The health benefits of swearing include increased circulation, elevated endorphins, and an overall sense of calm, control, and well-being.

Dh and I have always had colourful language and we always told ds that it's something adults can say but he was not to repeat anything he heard and fair play to him in 18 years he never has... last night he was telling a very funny story at dinner time and dropped in an F bomb (totally appropriate use of swearing!) and it really took me by surprise but he's 18 now,he can swear now 😂

I find "FUTTOCKS!" useful as a substitute swearword.

Futtocks is a fantastic word. I love it. It sounds as if it should mean something really rude ... but doesn't.

My mum used to do the same thing with the name of the logistics firm 'Schenkers'. The word just sounds like an insult. :)

My friend got sacked for calling her boss a cunt. But it was the volume she said it at, rather than the actual word.

I once worked in a no swearing office. One day someone, under extreme pressure, said 'shit'. This was followed by my manager 's gasp of horror and a dreadful silence.

I lasted six months.

My friend got sacked for calling her boss a cunt. But it was the volume she said it at, rather than the actual word

I imagine it was the aggression behind the delivery of said word too

Yanbu. She’s banned mild/none swear words. Damn is really not a swear word these days.

I recommend ‘hells teeth’ as an alternative.

Isithometimeyet0987
I agree. It's never occurred to me that it would be a problem going a few hours of the day not swearing. Some of what is described on here seems unnecessary and unprofessional.

The colleague is wrong to police mild profanities and should lighten up there, but if people can't get through a few hours without saying fuck/fucking/cunt as a filler between every other word then that's worrying.

The health benefits of swearing include increased circulation, elevated endorphins, and an overall sense of calm, control, and well-being.

Ain't that the fucking truth ?

I remember, growing up, having a friend who was all “fiddlesticks” & “sugar” when fighting with her sister.

Meanwhile, me & my sister would be effing & blinding, while tearing each other to shreds. Mum ignored us!

I don't appreciate being told LANGUAGE by another adult when I’m in the middle of a conversation with someone else.

Does she seriously do that?

I'd stop mid-sentence, turn to her slowly and say 'Oh, lay off, will you' or similar, witheringly. Repeat as needed. She can fuck off tell her that, too

DGRossetti
I thought the benefits of swearing decreased the more people swear.

So the people who use them as filler in every sentence become desensitized. Or was that the pain relief benefits of swearing?

My response to being told off (really?!) for swearing would be a raised eyebrow, an 'aye, OK then!' in a dismissive tone, and carrying on! A real life version of this face! Works best in a Scottish accent, but 'yeah OK then' works too!

So the people who use them as filler in every sentence become desensitized. Or was that the pain relief benefits of swearing?

I don't fucking know, but here's two cunts talking about it.

Cuntbadger is my new go to swear word 😂

I think you just need to ignore her as long as you don’t say anything offensive to her and it isn’t a situation where would affect work. You are an adult, you can say “look Mary, I understand you get upset at swearing but I am also a person who may get stressed if can’t let out frustration. I am willing to compromise on strong words like Fuck (I would say the word to) but I draw the line at Damn and Bloody hell etc”

There have been studies to show good in some work places www.google.co.uk/amp/s/relay.nationalgeographic.com/proxy/distribution/public/amp/2018/01/science-swearing-profanity-curse-emma-byrne

If she still lords it over the office speak to your manager (the Cunting coffee one) as isn’t the office move supposed to stop this?

Maybe she should work in that office and get the managers Cunting coffee everyday

OMG! This posting made me laugh as it brought back memories. I don't know what the hell happens in my brain, but as soon as someone makes it clear that I can't swear or blaspheme I end up swearing more. I don't do it intentionally; it just happens.

I use to be a carer and in one of the placements the client and husband were very religious and made it clear that they would not tolerate blaspheming and for the life of me I could not stop say 'Oh God' nor 'Jesus', 'bloody hell' was a common one slipping out or the worst one was 'For Christ's Sake'. The funny thing was these were not my usual expressions.

I don't swear. I am unable to. But don't mind people who do. (And envy them a bit.) As long as they are not swearing at people in an offensive/ aggressive way. She is being absurd. Lower her expectations straight away. Swear constantly until she gets used to it

Well, I worked in a newsroom too for over 20 years and the air wasn't just blue, it was deepest indigo.
(Mucho stress)
Once, we had a new boss, a somewhat prissy American, who clearly wasn't that keen but there wasn't much she could do about it. But it wasn't long before she picked up the habit too.