AIBU: swearing ban at work

[JammieJones]

We’ve all recently been moved around offices and I’ve ended up in an office which has a swearing ban. I’d been there 2 hours when I was told by member of staff that she doesn’t like swearing and doesn’t want it in her office. I hadn’t sworn she was just letting me know.

We are the same level at work and after asking other members of staff who’ve worked with her for a long time she really really hates swearing and pulls people up on it.

Fair enough she doesn’t want people screaming fucking cuntbadger across the office but crap, damn and bloody are also on the banned list.

I realise I’ve come into “her” office but AIBU to think she can’t police other adults language (especially as we are all the same grade). I don’t particularly like the egg sandwiches she eats every day but I’m not going to ban them!

You could always try some Shakespearean insults. Possibles are:

“You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!”

You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!”

And my favourite for when the egg sandwiches are out..

“The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril”

She will look absolutely ridiculous if she officially complains you said the word "bloody" or "crap" so if I were you I'd try and avoid the good swears and stick to the ones that will make her look extra petty for pulling you up on.

the problem is that she can complain you swore AT her, and not around her, and she will win.

You really cannot defend swearing in the work place. Most people just get on with it, but if one puts a stop to it, nothing you can do. It's usually covered by the "keep a professional behaviour" kind of paragraph in your workbook.

Is felching on the list? Swiving? Rogering? You could have some fun with this...

The performance of one of the teams at work last week was a shitshow. No better way to describe it. I frankly couldn't be arsed to describe it differently. She can piss off!

I was a swearer until we underwent religious discrimination training and a religious woman then came over to me to tell me to stop swearing as it was offending her religion. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFSSSSSSSSS!

Hadn't even realised I was swearing.

I then went off sick for 6 months due to stress (fully paid by the company - I wasn't taking the piss - there was a lot of shit happening). That paid that shit back.
Some people are so fucking bastarding annoying.

If you find Irish people offensive, don't fucking move to fucking Ireland ffs!

No one swears in my office (newsroom), We often bring our kids to work and it’s a generally a positive, friendly atmosphere.

I’m also surprised at the responses here. It’s satisfying to swear sometimes but doing it all the time is a bit unimaginative. “A paucity of speech” as one of my editors was fond of saying.

I swear at work without thinking if I make a mistake or something, I work in an office and no ones ever been offended/others do the same.

My friend however is a swimming teacher and was fired for gross misconduct after telling someone to fuck off.

I guess it depends on the workplace. I'd also tone it down if someone said they were offended.

She sounds like an arse though.

Watch this for some hints. www.bing.com/videos/search?q=billy+connolly+fake+swear+words&view=detail&mid=DB1B7B3E5FFC5E3907E7DB1B7B3E5FFC5E3907E7&FORM=VIRE

I cannot abide people who force their petty dislikes into others in this way. You don’t like the sound of people eating? Leave the room then. Why does that person’s dislike (which they use to shame everyone who contravenes their “rules”) trump everyone else’s rights?

I work in HE. I don't think were particularly sweary but a bit is definitely part of normal language and doesn't get a raised eyebrow.

Some years ago a colleague politely reminded me that we had interview candidates in our section that day so just to mind our language that day. I quipped "I'll try my fucking best" and my boss nearly fell of her seat laughing.

She’s clearly easily amused, your boss 😜 or are you David Brent?

I'm with her, I really cannot stand the use of swear words as adjectives where not warranted. As my teacher said, what have you got left when you bash your thumb with a hammer! Obviously there's a sliding scale in language but I would never dream of swearing at work unless the situation was pretty extreme (eg photocopier booklet maker ended up on my foot!)

I work in IT... if we weren’t allowed to swear I don’t think anyone would say anything...

Most memorable was when a really bloody annoying colleague repeatedly was trying to but in to a conversation with higher managers that he literally had nothing valuable to add, he was just being a dick. The most senior manager turned around, looked him full in the face and just went ‘for fucks sake! Shut the fuck up!’ Even I raised an eyebrow at that one!

I would swear as much as possible.

you don’t like the sound of people eating? Leave the room then.

fine if you are in the kitchen, less reasonable if you are just sitting at your desk

Adopt the approach of Eleanor shelstrop in 'the good place' and start saying 'motherforking shirtballs' at opportune moments!

Not really. We don’t taken lunch breaks and usually eat at our desks. Why should this practice change because one special snowflake doesn’t like it? Why should we all have to change?

/grump

When she says ‘language’ just day ‘emglish. Sorry if that bothers you. I assume you have google if you need to look the meaning up’ then ignore her

Ironically because they are trying to stop people from claiming offices as their own and introduce more of a hot desking situation

You might want to point out to your line manager that leaving HER in the office will not enable them to effect the change they’re after as she seems to feel she can dictate ‘office rules’ like some school matron!

Why should this practice change because one special snowflake doesn’t like it? Why should we all have to change?

because it's a work environment, your colleagues are paid to be working at their desk, you chose to eat there. No one should have to put up with eating noise and food smell at work. Remind me of the Office episode when Pam was pregnant

Next time she says ‘language!’ reply yes and I just love practising my olde English and Norse

How would you feel if her motivation was religious? ‘Don’t take the lord’s name in vain’ sort of thing.

Is your new office "The Good Place"?

Holy forking shirt balls.

that's the point, you have no chance of defending your right to swear. The offended party always win, and it's a reasonable request to ask for a professional attitude in the work place.

I can think of a few places where they will just get rid of the complainer using other reasons, but I can't see how they could tell her to shut up to her face basically.