To get some help even if I don't have kids?

[puffyeyedsugarmonster]

I run my own business, usually about 60 + hours per week often including weekends and care for two elderly relatives. DH also works full time with a long commute.

Currently we have a cleaner for a few hours a week, I'm just about to start using an ironing lady as I'm fed up of not wearing half my clothes because I don't have time to iron them and we often use HelloFresh/Gousto type meals to save on shopping/planning time.

My friend said to me yesterday I was basically lazy because we do the above but don't have kids?! Don't get me wrong I know lots of people work FT and have kids and still have time to do the other stuff themselves and that's great but I don't want to and don't think that makes me lazy?

We don't have a huge income, we just don't spend it on other stuff as we'd rather use it to make life easier. That's not unreasonable is it?

No, your friend is rude to comment. It’s co,pletely your decision and no-one else’s business.

Absolutely not. It’s your money and your priorities and you should do exactly as you please. You could be a stay at home “lady of leasure” and STILL have help and it would be none of her business. She sounds jealous and like a bit of a rubbish friend on this occasion.

If I could afford it I'd have a whole host of staff, cleaner, ironing, chef , chauffeur, personal shopper, in fact I'd hire a 'life manager' to manage them all too haha. I'd basically do bugger all myself unless I fancied it. Do what suits you!

Wtf is wrong with your “friend”? It’s nobody’s business how you spend your money. Life is tough and if you can make it easy then do it!

It's your choice and a completely reasonable one.

It's not what I'd do myself as I'd rather save the money, but I respect your right to choose.

Spend your money on what you want! We had a period where I wasn’t working (had moved abroad for DH’s job and I was still looking for work) and we still had a cleaner.

Your friend was rude. Having children is definitely not the only reason someone would lead a busy life.

She's jealous.

No kids here and we got a cleaner last year for the first time.

Best
Thing
Ever

Sod that you spend your money however you want. I’d do the same as you if I worked that many hours

Your friend is totally unreasonable. Particularly in light of the fact that you do have caring responsibilities, just not for children. For two elderly relatives.

If friend wants to martyr themselves, all power to their elbow. Personally I think your way sounds far more sensible. . .

Yanbu. Don't let the insecurity of others drag you down

I don't think you are at all unreasonable, how you spend your money is your business. No one else should judge you for having help. Maybe they are jealous.

Oh I see someone has already said that. Well, good, I agree. Your friend is probably jealous.

YANBU. Wonder what she’d say about the mums at my school who have a full time nanny, no job and a cleaner! Unfortunately am not referring to myself

Your friend can piss off, parents don't have a monopoly on being busy!

She’s jealous

DH and I are child free, we have a cleaner and someone who does our ironing. We both work full time in demanding jobs and I have a fairly long commute. The way we look at it is we want to have the option to spend all our free time doing things we want to do, we are child free because we enjoy our freedom and our time being our own, it would seem a bit pointless if that time was spent cleaning and ironing.

Well obviously no one is ever as tired / busy / understands love much as a mother does cos you know, that's really all we're meant for and all that crap.

If I was working your hours and caring for two relatives, I'd expect help a lot more than someone working 37 hours with a couple of kids in school

I can’t understand this attitude that we should all martyr ourselves to running our lives. You are very clearly not lazy with the amount of commitments you have. Why shouldn’t you do whatever you can afford to make life more manageable?

It's what I have always chosen to spend money on, before and after children. I value time more than things. But the point is it doesn't matter who thinks it's a valid choice or not. You don't have to justify yourself to anyone. You are a responsible and caring adult spending money you have earned yourself.

Jealousy is a terrible thing OP. I know id be jealous if I was your friend but I'd never tell you that. It's great that you can afford to pay those people, you work hard for your money so why hell shouldn't you! Plus your paying other people which is good for them too. Tell your friend to mind her own business.

Your friend was rude! And talking bollocks.

Ioathe cleaning and ironing. I loathe it now and loathed it before I had children. It's tedious pointless and boring. I don't work 60 hours a week or have caring responsibilities for elderly relatives. I'd get as much help as I could afford. None of your friends business how you spend your money.

Your friend sounds jealous

Definitely jealous. Tell her that now you have so much spare time, you don't want to spend it on judgemental annoying people

Your money, your life. Before kids DH and I had a cleaner, used an ironing service, rarely ate at home and tried a new place to eat or drink most nights. I've no regrets at all as my lifestyle now with kids is different.

A cleaner is one of the few ways you can buy time, other than giving up work.