To get some help even if I don't have kids?

[puffyeyedsugarmonster]

I run my own business, usually about 60 + hours per week often including weekends and care for two elderly relatives. DH also works full time with a long commute.

Currently we have a cleaner for a few hours a week, I'm just about to start using an ironing lady as I'm fed up of not wearing half my clothes because I don't have time to iron them and we often use HelloFresh/Gousto type meals to save on shopping/planning time.

My friend said to me yesterday I was basically lazy because we do the above but don't have kids?! Don't get me wrong I know lots of people work FT and have kids and still have time to do the other stuff themselves and that's great but I don't want to and don't think that makes me lazy?

We don't have a huge income, we just don't spend it on other stuff as we'd rather use it to make life easier. That's not unreasonable is it?

We don’t have dc and both work full time.
We have a cleaner.

YANBU at all.

I'm in a corporate job on executive level and work 60-80 hrs a week. Absolutely not interested in spending what little spare time I have on cleaning and laundry.

I've a cleaner, have most of my clothes dry cleaned and haven't cooked at home for the last 8 months or so. I'd rather see friends or do something fun than supplement my already insane workload with more, unpaid work.

My mate's sister has no job, a full-time, live-in nanny for her 3 year old AND a cleaner.

I asked DFriend what her sister does all day: it's shopping, lunch and beauty treatments, apparently.

Needless to say, she is married to a very rich man.

Your money, your time, your business.

Does your friend have

Her car serviced?
Her hair cut?
Her children cared for?
Nails done?
Shopping delivered?
Garden mowed?
House painted?
Plumbing fixed?
Electrician?

You could even say she should grow her own vegetables and make her own bread

All people paid for things you can’t or don’t do yourself.

No different really

A friend of mine lives alone, is immaculately tidy AND has a cleaner!! Do what you want

Your friend sounds rude and jealous that you can spend your time and money more freely.

You aren’t lazy, you just don’t want to spend your free time on things that aren’t as important in the grand scheme of things.

Also I love the Gousto boxes, they make life easier when you’re not feeling inspired and don’t have much time for cooking, so I’d tell her to mind her own business.

I don't have children and regularly have crisp sandwiches for tea. She would have a field day with me 😂

Children aren't the only thing that takes up peoples time. Have all the help you want/need. I'd love a cleaner but I'm poor so live in a hovel. Some days I'm too knackered from working long hours to even consider ironing.

My friend said to me yesterday I was basically lazy

That's not a friend, it's a twat.

Does she not understand that you run a business & work 60+ hours a week?
Is she going to give you a special badge for spending all the other waking hours doing boring domestic shit?
Is there some weird virtue in making an exhausted martyr of yourself because SHE feels you ought to?

Thank you all, I feel much better now!

The hilarious thing is she has a cleaner!!!! But she has kids - which trumps everything obviously.

Really?? 🙄🤪

I imagine she’s jealous of your lifestyle and doesn’t want you to enjoy it.

None of her business. How does she know, I think the problem sometimes is we tell people things so they think we have invited their opinion. Might not apply in this case but I rarely tell people I pay a gardener as I hate gardening. They might have an opinion on it if I said it but I don't tell them.

One of the nicest birthday presents I ever had was someone paying someone to come and collect all my ironing and bring it back 2 days later all beautifully ironed. Everyone knows I hate ironing. Someone might take the hint and do it again one day.

Your friend is mad
And I’m guessing has no experience of looking after elderly relatives.

None of her business. Your money, your choice!

Caring for elderly relatives is a lot harder than having kids. I’ve done both and I know which I’d choose. Your friend needs to wind her neck in.

I think working 60 plus hours a week and caring for two elderly relatives means you have a lot on your plate. It sounds like your friend buts into the offensive idea that only parents are busy and stressed.

No children at home. I don't work anymore. Cleaner 3 times weekly. Gardener. Ironing to laundry. Occasional dog walker.
DH works in high pressure job.
I'd rather everything was done and spend what time he's at home enjoying ourselves than being chore led.
We worked so hard when we were younger and had very little money.
OP, do what makes you happy and what you can afford. Everyone's life has different priorities.

Totally! And don’t feel guilty either!

She has a cleaner?

She's just potty then