To ask if you weren't organised before but are now, what happened?

[sadkoala]

Posting for traffic.

I hate being disorganised and rushing everywhere but it seems to be my life most of the time.
I seem incapable of maintaining a clean home and unless a room is a pigsty I don't take active steps to keep it clean.
Tried meal planning but for some reason I come up with a blank as soon as I attempt it.
My hair/makeup/clothes are rarely put together and neat and my hair scraped back in a bun.
Getting DCs out of the door in the morning is a nightmare and we always JUST make it rushing rather than being able to be on time and not have to drag them along.

I'd love to not be run ragged, look put together and relaxed and have a tidy home and mind.

So can I ask some organised vipers out there how do you do it?

How do you keep on top of the housework?
How do you get your DCs to eat/get dressed/put the shoes on in the morning without it taking 3 hours?
How do you make sure your groceries are always stocked up and you know what to cook?
How do you fit it all in alongside time with DCs and looking after yourself?
And how do you not have washed but not out away mountains of laundry littering the bedrooms?!

Do you live with another adult? I'm a 100% more productive as an adult with a DH who pulls his weight than I was pre-family and cohabiting status

Honestly, the key to me was meeting DP. He is so organised and does things in such a logical way that it became apparent to me what a waste of time my way was.

Ie, he has “areas” set out - his own area where he lines up keys, wallet, travel card, work pass etc and then puts it in his bag first thing in the morning and removes last thing at night. Eye opener to me who keeps some stuff in a bag or purse or a pocket or coat pocket.

Tidying little and often - always taking something upstairs, always unpacking right away from walking in. Meal planning helped too.

Really little things but our home is beautifully tidy and it’s because of him really

Marie Kondo.

Once my house was organised and tidy, the rest fell into place. The change has been dramatic.

Everything needs a "home" it can be put back in.

Routine

For me it’s been one change at a time. Most recently it’s been getting the kids up 20 mins earlier and being totally ready myself before I do. And giving myself really hard deadlines for it, and rules for myself. No phone in the morning, goes straight into my bag when I get downstairs. That means it’s not a temptation. All the kid/school stuff goes much more smoothly and because I’m not in a rush the kids don’t get as wound up. They each get marbles for their marble jar if we’re all ready to go by the target time.

Mornings are so much nicer. I’m finding myself doing lots of little jobs in between getting them out the door. We’ve been so on it we had to wait outside for nursery to open the other day. And that extra 20 minutes and the discipline has meant me getting to work more than half an hour earlier, which is magic.

And now that’s my motivation. This is better for all of us, so I can keep doing it.

4 children happened. Now I live like a military general, as it was that or drown! 😂

There's not a magic bullet, it happened by degrees. The biggest change has been preparing evertiin advance the night before - outfit chosen, bag packed etc. You save so much time!

I also tidy as I go and never ever leave a room empty handed. Decluttering helps too, physically and mentally - I am more careful now about how I spend time.

Never managed to get the hang of meal planning, though with 4 hungry boys that should be my next achievement!

I am a work in progress but I self diagnosed myself with ADHD and read a few related books and implemented a few strategies. I'm getting there.

The main thing is a constant persistence in a digital calendar. I dont care if I'm talking to someone in person or on the phone, or opening post. If I get an appointment or meeting I stop what I'm doing, do quiet, and write it in.

I hear you op. We moved into a semi renovated house with a 9 month old and it took me several years to get straight.
I basically watched what people who were good at it did, and copied.
Have a look at The Organised Mum method, that’s really sensible.
Invite people over often. My sense of shame made me clean before they came! Went through years of a massive de clutter process, and getting the right furniture to hold and organise our stuff.
Just get help, don’t expect to do it on your own. So look up weekly meal plans online, adapt it to what your family eats . Then write a shopping list from it, and check all the dates on the meat you buy. So if it’s sausage pasta on Monday the 8th, the sausages have to be good till then .

Make a timetable for yourself and your kids on the morning.
I got so fed up with telling ds to get dresses and battling in the mornings that I have on and dresses him. It was fine, eventually he did it himself.

Both my kids have always had 40 pairs of pants and socks each, so I don’t have to keep on top of it.
I wash uniform every weekend Sunday night I check it’s all ready.

I find reminders on my phone incredibly useful.

The kids have to help. They put their own laundry away, just do it with them the first few times.
They have other chores too, and always have to clear up any mess they make.
I know what t feels like a mountain to climb, but start with the stuff that upsets you most.

I’ve found that as you address this stuff it changes how you operate in the world, so it’s a positive spiral. You kind of refine it all as you go along.

With laundry, you need to multitask it. We do 2 loads most days, so letting it pile is not an option, but I never just sit and fold - instead I'll do it while dinner is cooking or DH and I do it while we chat about our days, or the 2 year old and I do it together and it's a fun activity. Then for putting away we have a basket each, I put them in the DC's rooms and my 5 and 7 year old put their own away (I check in and neaten cupboards occasionally) and the 2 year old and baby I do, with some toddler 'help' - and again, I'll do it while we are playing or while they have 5 minutes fun naked time after the bath. Ironing I dont manage at the moment, I fold things neatly when I can and have a lady who comes once a fortnight to collect, iron and return DHs work shirts, it's expensive but so worth it!!

Little and often is the key to almost everything!

I looked at what 2 very neat, organised and tidy people did and copied them. I have always had dedicated 'cleaning time' though, I'm a SAHM now so have 2 school hour day free a week so I use one of those, pre dc I worked for myself from home and had an afternoon for cleaning, before that it was Thursday after work.
Mornings- dp pulls his weight with the kids, this means that whilst I shower he sorts out their breakfast, then I help get them dressed whilst he gets himself ready. No tv in a morning unless everything is done, clothes on, bags ready etc. I get a lot ready the night before tbh. I deal with any school crap (forms dates etc) as soon as they come home.
Washing. Load of washing goes on most evenings then out on the line or into the dryer in the morning. Straight away or into an ironing pile when it's dried.
I meal plan once a week, I either do an aldi or an asda, if it's an asda then a lot of the basics are stored in the favourites bit on line. I look at the weather and anything we might have planned (meal out, after school things etc)for the week.

I think a lot of it is down to getting the house organised to begin with so there isn't clutter everywhere and from there just getting on with it!

get your clothes, and the kids clothes out the night before.

for meal planning have a look at the threads on here, I found loads of inspirations. Keep them all on a list and then simply pick 7 every week.
Do your shopping online if that's easier, I think on most of them you can save stuff to favourites so even easier when you're meal planning.

DS always wants breakfast as soon as he wakes up, and he eats it without me having to rush him so I cant help there. If he dordles/tantrums/is disruptive he knows he wont get a treat after nursery so he is generally pretty good. he is clearly young enough to bribe with a chocolate digestive though!

the laundry thing I am guilty of but for me the only thing that works is folding it straight into the basket off the line, and bringing it in and putting it straight away. if your kids are old enough just give them a pile of their stuff each and they can put it away.

Makeup wise I make time, because my skin is awful, generally I do it while ds Is having breakfast. Hair wise, if I wash it and blow dry it on a night, it just needs a brush on a morning, I don't need to straighten it. Maybe that would be an option for you. Having it up isn't a bad thing though!

I was incredibly haphazard up until my 20s and have gradually become more organised over time. Part of it is DH’s influence - he is very orderly in many respects and has systems for things (e.g. always irons 5 shirts for work on a Sunday night so he is ready for the week - he has done this every Sunday night without fail since we started going out in 2001!). Sadly he is still shit at stacking the dishwasher.

All the life hacks I have really just involve throwing money at the problem which is a very privileged solution - e.g. nanny a couple of days instead of daycare to save us doing pick ups and drop off every day; getting a cleaner 2 hours a week; etc etc

We both work pretty much full time (I do 80%) and have 2 DC so I plan holidays well in advance. I will book travel for July 2020 this August for example, I booked Christmas holiday in February.

We get a meal box delivered in a Sunday night so neither of us have to think about what’s for dinner Monday - Thursday - there are 4 meals (enough for 2 adults).

If you blow dry/straighten your hair I recommend a keratin treatment, lasts 3-4 more months and saves me about 3 hours a week I reckon!

Also the only way for me to get any exercise done is to wake up at 5.30, do a spin class and be home by 7am to get ready for work.

Oh I do at least one load of laundry a day - put load in before work and hang up when home. Then process straight into drawers when dry - never pile up clean laundry.

Re. the meal planning can you write a list of family favourites one night then keep it in a safe place? That way if you find your mind going blank when it's time to meal plan you have some ideas to fall back on. I meal plan every Sunday once ds is in bed.

Sometimes I do 'power hours' when ds is asleep too. I write a jobs list - usually consisting of household jobs - then set an hour timer on my phone and see how much I can get done. Sounds naff but works for me!

I have a weekly planner diary and write everything in that - appointments, jobs for the day, dinners, when I could go to the gym etc.

Also I do the organised mum method. You do 30 mins in one area of the house each day and the idea is that because you do it every week you keep on top of it. So you can't do everything in 30mins but next week you start with what you didn't get done there the week before and that way it's not as overwhelming.

I have Inattentive ADD. The management strategies for it have revolutionised my life. Have a Google.

This is a work in progress for me, plenty of work still to be done, but one thing that's made a big difference is a bullet journal. I have a weekly plan across a double page spread, with lists of things to do that day, and more generally that week. I also have pages to write other lists, things I need to buy, that sort of thing.

@IDontGiveABagOfDicks

This is new for me, do you have a couple of strategies you can recommend in particular? Or a really good resource. I'm struggling lately hugely with proscratination and time awareness.

IDontGiveABagOfDicks........my 15 year old daughter has been given a diagnosis this week of inattentive ADD. I would be really grateful for any advice or specific strategies that might help. She is INCREDIBLY disorganised, forgetful and messy. I really want to support her in any way but not completely sure where to start.

@idontgiveabagofdicks
I'm curious as well!

With a lot of planning and work I’m afraid. There’s no short cuts

Just putting DD to bed then I’ll share some things that have helped me

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve started to organise my grocery shopping. Paid for a 6 month delivery pass. Wrote a list of family favourite meals and I choose from them and then put the exact ingredients in for my online shop. I also have a list of home essentials that I check each time I’m shopping (detergent, toothpaste, oven chips etc) and check that they’re all stocked up. This has saved me loads of stress lately.

I write a lot of lists and tick things off, even mundane stuff gets done if you've put it in down on a list, it nags at you if you don't do it. I set reminders in my phone, not just for events but to book things and complete tasks. Clothes always laid out night before. Main housework is done once a week, tidy, hoover and dust throughout. Washing machine set to go off overnight, clothes on the line before breakfast. On school mornings no TV allowed till dressed, breakfasted and bags packed. Set a routine and stick to it.