To ask if you weren't organised before but are now, what happened?

[sadkoala]

Posting for traffic.

I hate being disorganised and rushing everywhere but it seems to be my life most of the time.
I seem incapable of maintaining a clean home and unless a room is a pigsty I don't take active steps to keep it clean.
Tried meal planning but for some reason I come up with a blank as soon as I attempt it.
My hair/makeup/clothes are rarely put together and neat and my hair scraped back in a bun.
Getting DCs out of the door in the morning is a nightmare and we always JUST make it rushing rather than being able to be on time and not have to drag them along.

I'd love to not be run ragged, look put together and relaxed and have a tidy home and mind.

So can I ask some organised vipers out there how do you do it?

How do you keep on top of the housework?
How do you get your DCs to eat/get dressed/put the shoes on in the morning without it taking 3 hours?
How do you make sure your groceries are always stocked up and you know what to cook?
How do you fit it all in alongside time with DCs and looking after yourself?
And how do you not have washed but not out away mountains of laundry littering the bedrooms?!

Apart from a DH who pulls his weight and contracting out as much as possible the things that make a massive difference to me are:

Never leaving a room empty handed
Clothes out night before
Meal plan, online shop and stick to it
Double drawer dishwasher

I also declutter ruthlessly at least once a quarter and I'm a big proponent of the 5am club: an hour at the beginning of the day which can be utilised productively is far more valuable than an hour falling asleep on the sofa at 11pm!

Finally I'm an obsessive list writer!

Not read all the responses, but I read David Allen's book Getting Things Done and found it great to give me a structure to actually keep on top of what i need to do. Highly recommended
Also recommend Atomic Habits by James Clear to make things stick!

I also have a card drawer with gift bags wrapping paper, sellotape, scissors, tissue paper and gift bags.

Getting my nails done during lunch break was also a game changer. I rarely took a lunch break but doing so once a fortnight for nails made such a difference. It also meant I went somewhere local to my office which was a bit more urban and less pampering and therefore 40% cheaper.

Weirdly my biggest thing was having my own clothes already the night before. It Started me on a good note not to be looking for clothes in the morning!!! Two clothes baskets ( for dirty) one downstairs one up. Lunch boxes cleaned out the second we all get home. Shoes for kids lined up for the morning and all coats on one hook. I will never be organised with meals ( horrific cook!!) Also thongs like toothbrushes all together. Best of luck OP and big hug, I'm still not the best out there but I'm better!!!

I got a job with commission based pay and a fuck-tonne of paperwork.

I learned to be organised and punctual very very quickly.

We don’t have any DC yet but I work shifts and am also doing a masters on top so very busy. Don’t have time to stress about how unorganised we are so have made some small changes.

Downloaded an app called Wunderlist for our shopping, this is shared with DH so whenever we notice something is running out, we add it on immediately and tick them off when we go shopping. This has helped massively.

Once a week, usually on Saturday evening whilst watching telly, we meal plan. I have a magnetic weekly planner on the fridge that we use for about £3 from Tesco. We pick the meals we want, who’s gonna cook them between us and write it down (mainly pick them based on what meat we have, I.e only have some chicken and fish so those two plus some veggie meals). Whilst I’m writing, DH is checking cupboards if needed and filling in the Wunderlist app for ingredients needed. Takes some time but so much easier for the rest of the week! We also have a rule that one person cooks, the other washes up.

We used to argue over who did what bit of cleaning which was a pain, we now have designated jobs that need doing weekly. For example I always clean the bathroom and DH always does the hoover etc. We also put this on our weekly planner and tick off when done.

I sort out life admin like booking in appointments and checking insurance etc just before I leave work. I find if I leave anything until I get home it doesn’t get done at all.

I have pet rabbits so do a deep clean of their shed after I’ve come back from gym as I’m already sweaty, then often clean the kitchen bin and the bathroom including deep clean of toilet. After all this I finally have a shower which makes me feel much better after all the dirty work. I find if I do all the gross things all in one go, I’m not feeling like I’m constantly showering (I have dry skin so don’t like to overdo it).

The biggest tip however is to regularly declutter and be brutal with it. If you haven’t worn it in 2 years and it no longer fits over your arse, chuck it out for something that does! Hope some of this is helpful haha

I decided I was fed up of stumbling through fucking chaos from one crisis to another.

First thing I did was put a hook up for my keys and used it every single time, whilst having a rule to never open or close the front door without looking at the key in my right hand first.

Then I got brutal. I fucked off the dead weight/sabotaging/whingeing/moaning/controlling male who was causing 95% of my problems. The moment he wasn't around, I could think.

I reduced stimuli - visual and auditory - so I didn't have the big light on in the evenings, only had lamps on when absolutely necessary. No bloody TV - one of the advantages of getting rid of the Male, as he obsessively watched TV from dawn and into the night. It was instantly so much calmer to open my eyes and not be confronted by breakfast telly or fucking Frasier again.

And then I got brutal. Can I be arsed to wash, dry, iron and put away a top that doesn't fit right and makes me feel like shit? When a pair of socks worked out at about 50p and have worn through/cut off the blood supply at the ankles, why the fuck am I keeping them? I binned bags of knackered clothes and significantly reduced the amount of outstanding washing that way. Is there any point in keeping shoes that hurt my feet? No. Is there any point in keeping bags that aren't comfortable to carry? No.

Then, once there was less stuff to manage around, I cleaned. Properly. Every corner. Sometimes lots of things, sometimes not as much. But I always cleaned something. I loved my dishwasher for saving time - and it kept the sink clear. The most important thing for the kitchen is always putting things away immediately and cleaning up as I went along.

Anyhow, over a few weeks, I went from utter catastrophe to someone with a nice home. There are still things to improve, but it's not difficult to shuffle out of the bedroom into the bathroom and have a shower.

Kids not being ratbags in the morning - not sure. But keeping the telly off might help. And maybe a chair by their bed with their uniform on it in the exact order they need to put it on, bookbags and lunches done the night before.

I agree with Bugaboo. If you can afford it, more is less.
She has 20 pairs of pants for her dd. This means she's under less stress to get things laundered.

I too always do this. Buy M&S packs of shirts for Ds1 and Ds2, in packs of 3 or 4. So, I-have 8, or 9 for a 5 day week.

This makes a huge difference. You aren't put under any stress.

Does that make sense?

Plus, I don't run out of anything, food wise. I have spares of everything.
So, washing up liquid, once it's low, I get the one under the sink, I then put it on the shopping list. No urgency. No stress.

6 tins of bbq, baked beans. In the cupboard. For jacket potatoes etc. When I get down to 2, I order 8 more. 2 packs of 4. No stress.

A colleague in my team retired then another one left to go back to her home country and neither post was replaced so all their work was shunted into my role, and I went back to full time from 4 days a week. I recommend lists, everything having a place (endless battle with DH who thought 'shove it in a cupboard, any cupboard' = tidy), and only sharing your home with someone who pulls his/her weight.

I live by the JFDI method - just fucking do it. If a task needs doing, just do it. Don’t let things pile up. Never go up or downstairs empty handed. Although I have to say, I don’t think I ever managed to ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ even once!

I lived with a very, very organised person for about a year when I first moved to London and a switch just flicked in my head.

@MitziK you sound like a total badass

Throw out all the crap. Makes everything easier.

@Fivebyfivesq Thanks. It meant I finally felt like my home was my own, rather than somebody else's territory that they were metaphorically pissing all over.

Started going out with DP shortly after that. Had a blip when he moved all his shit in, had a few rage cleans because he Just Doesn't See The Fucking Mess, but the overall effect of not moaning about it, just sorting it, really helped.

Whilst I'm between jobs next month, I'm planning another purge, as most of the clothes are worn out now and there are a couple of appliances that are fucked. Because there isn't shit laying about on them, it'll be a doddle to get them out and recycled (paying for collection/disposal is worth every fucking penny), the replacements in and running quickly.

My mental shopping list is;

Three tops for the new job.

New underwear. The old ones will be binned.

New socks. The old ones will be binned.

Washing machine.

Microwave.

I just won't waste the time, inclination or mental energy to deal with shit I don't actually have to put up with anymore.

And surprisingly enough, it actually makes me a hell of a lot nicer person to be around. Possibly because I can focus on the scent of my lavender, water my ginger plant by the back door, the honeysuckle under the bedroom window, that kind of thing, rather than be stressing about washing, tidying, finding my keys/card/phone/bus pass/shoes, etc.

My partner left me and one of the reasons why was due to my house being messy (not dirty, just messy). I've ruined everything and lost someone I love because I couldn't be arsed, basically.