To be concerned about my little girl

[Cantsleeppast3am]

I don't know if this is normal as she's my first but I'm concerned about her behaviour. She was 3 in April, seems very bright but my god, she's so naughty!
Won't do a single thing I tell her in fact she'll go out of her way to do the exact opposite, I can't let go of her hand for a second while out and about, wherever we are she is off supermarket, high street, wherever.

I just seem to see parents with children who behave and mine doesn't, I'm always getting funny looks.

She goes to nursery 2 full days a week, they can't speak highly enough of her, she's an absolute angel there.

Also if it's relevant I'm a single mother by choice, no father at all, we are massively supported by my parents although they never have her overnight, just an extra day a week.

Can anyone offer any advice or solidarity please!

Honestly it seems totally normal.

As frustrating, infuriating, upsetting and it is now, it will pass, I promise.

Sounds normal and then they grow ...... out of all of it.

Big respect to you, I too am a single parent by choice, no father at all. My parents hugely supportive and we have a great life.

I'm sure she will grow out of it, the fact she is highly thought of at nursery is all positive.

Some kids are just "high spirited" as my auntie would say

Oh and OP no I don't think it is relevant re: Single by choice, no father, grandparents etc

I had counselling before I had my DC and it is proven that ONE sole carer is stable enough.

It’s really really common for children to misbehave with their mummy’s and act perfectly at pre-school/nursery/school.

It’s probably just a phase.

No children are perfectly behaved. I know it seems like everyone else’s children are behaved compared to yours but I think every parent feels that way at times. Every single child plays up and acts naughty at times. It would be concerning if they didn’t!

Oh my god! Highly spirited is exactly how I think of her! I love her so much and I get really upset when every mum of the well behaved is looking at me!

Sounds normal

I’ve got one of those . Everything I say is unbelievable apparently - we had a lengthy discussion the other day about how whether birds have feathers or fur. She is perfectly receptive to other people teaching her things but I don’t know my arse from my elbow and should not be trusted this extends to simple commands too.

I think it’s age and perhaps a way of asserting a little independence from me. I wish she’d concentrate that effort into staying in her own bed for a whole night!

Yes, many 3 yos are absolutely non-stop with the not listening, running away, interfering with everything, it's not at all unusual. Hoping she gets past it soon!

I took part in an amazing parenting class years ago, run by the child psychology department of a university. One of the main points of the programme was that if you want your child to cooperate with you, a great way to get them to do that is to take 10 minutes a day to just play with them and let them take 100% control. e.g ,"you are mummy elephant and I'm the zoo keeper" "yes, what do you want mummy elephant to do?" Etc. Then point out how nice it is to play nicely, listen to each other, help each other etc.
It sounds a bit roundabout, but I felt with both of my kids it really worked. Were they perfect all of the time? God no! But they were pretty cooperative most of the time. I think that 10 minutes a day was lovely for all of us.

Thank you everyone, these were the answers I was hoping for! Shall just have to wait, this too shall pass!

That was what my daughter was like at 3, she is now 12 and still has that same spirited outlook on life, and I wouldn’t swop it for the world! She is fun to be with, has no fear of trying new adventures and has so much compassion for other living creatures( both human and animal) she will grow out of the real naughty stage, she is just trying out boundaries and as long as you are consistent with what behaviour techniques you use, she will come around and do what you ask. Good luck, it’s going to be an amazing journey! X

I've worked with many children her age - she sounds entirely normal.

Yes my daughter (and then later son) were like this. In fact mine refused even to hold my hand much of the time. I have no answers but you are not alone - my daughter is now a lovely 11 year old (although we still sometimes have a barny). Don't worry about it - it's totally normsl.

Oh bless you

It will pass OP .

My Nan always used to say "Better they are good at school and act out at home a little".

You hear about the terrible twos but no one could think of a catchy name for the shitshow that is three.
As a mother of two who are now well past that age, I can reassure you that both of mine were the devil's spawn at the age of three and they did grow out of it (mostly)

@Vibiano isn't it threenager?

Oh dear op. I remember thinking prior to dc that I would be able to mould the little buggers into the perfect citizens. From the moment they were born they have shown me how nieve I was! Unfortunately they don't just behave as expected. Completely normal for them to be little shits.

Threenagers... I’ve got one too.

@EvilHerbivore
I stand corrected, that's brilliant!

She is an absolute beast! I see the glint in her eye and know she's going to turn!

You are her safe place and love her even though she doesn't always do as you would like.

Not easy but you wouldn't change it either

My nearly 3 year old DS is exactly the same! He's an angel with everyone else but a little shit bag with me and his father! I'm sure they'll grow out of it.

No, I wouldn't. She often says if we're out and about doing something that she finds boring that wage wants to go home. I take that as positive, that I've created a happy place for her? I hope so anyway

*she

My 3 yr old DD can be an absolute terror at times. Well behaved for most but that is becasue she is manipulating them!