To really hate the pressure to have/want a holiday...

[DirtyDennis]

Two people so far today have looked at me like I'm an alien when I've said that I'm not going on holiday this year. I haven't been on holiday for a few years and this is a recurring theme.

One said "Oh no, you have to have a holiday". The other said "Oh okay" as if I just told her I'd developed a fetish for eating toe jam.

I really hate the pressure to have/want a holiday.
Some people can't afford a holiday so might say they don't want one because they don't want to tell people they're skint.

I can afford a holiday, I just don't want one. Last year I started saying "We might get a late deal later in the summer" just to avoid having to explain why I wasn't having a holiday.

I realise it's a massive non-issue but it pisses me off.

I’d like to go on holiday with you Dennis! (A holiday at home, I mean). I’m exactly the same as you, apart from I’m utterly skint. Even if I wasn’t, though, I don’t really like going abroad. I’d much rather go for walks with my dog, read, write, sleep...I get very little time off work and when I do I want to be selfish and do what I enjoy. This is one of the reasons I live alone!

I do like a cottage holiday though; last year I went to a tiny place only ten minutes away from my home (go on, laugh — everyone else did!), took the dog and a load of good food and wine, the new Galbraith novel and my own work-in-progress, and had a bloody blissful week.

Holidays, as in time off work, are to relax and recharge and please yourself, particularly if you’re single. Bugger what other people think!

My favourite episode of Miranda was the one where she goes on holiday to the hotel down the road.

I can find of a few people who are flabbergasted that anyone could want to do anything else than laying around a pool in an AI resort for 2 weeks .

I am not sure why the fact that people have different taste is such a shocking concept.

Totally get you. We do like the odd camping trip but I’m really not fussed about going abroad. I don’t like the thought of sitting in a germy airplane that’s spouting out god knows how much pollution, to go and visit somewhere where no one speaks the same language as me. Who knows what the hospitals are like. It’s always too hot.

Don’t mind if other people want to but it’s not for me.

I can afford a holiday, I just don't want one

I can not comprehend this.

However, a 'staycation' is a holiday IMO.

@LMBoston That sounds lovely!!

For me, absolutely nothing beats taking my dog on her morning walk and knowing I don't have to get back for anything at all. I've been on a few trips that people would call 'holidays of a lifetime' but, genuinely, absolutely nothing beats the feeling of strolling around my local park in the warm summer sunshine with a day at home stretching out in front of me. Actual heaven.

As I get older travelling seems more trouble than its worth, luckily I got to do a fair bit in my 20s.

When people ask you OP, why don't you just tell them you are doing a "Stay-cation"

I totally get this. I went into a cold sweat when husband wanted to go for 14 nights not 7. I find holidays hard work - I haven’t admitted this before. I enjoy the drinking wine in nice places but getting there and back and fretting about the accommodation can outweigh this!

To be honest, every time I come back I find myself thinking “was it really worth it?” When I’m unpacking the car, catching up on laundry, tired from traveling or just feeling guilty about leaving my two cats with a pet sitter.
That’s from someone who loves travel and holidays.
Do what suits you, not what others expect.

@tttigress I kind of do. I say something like "We're having a couple of weeks off work and stopping at home, it'll be lovely". People still expect you to travel somewhere for it. I'm not sure I could physically bring myself to use the word "staycation"

I do like holidays, just staying at home isnt the same as you’re then under pressure to do something useful around the house rather than just relax.

But I do feel this is similar to the pressure to do something at weekends. “Any plans for the weekend”, “what did you do at the weekend” etc... which I know we all do to make conversation, but it makes you feel like you’re not living if you don’t have some kind of event planned.

When people ask you OP, why don't you just tell them you are doing a "Stay-cation"

This is where you are going wrong, you are having a staycation.
Tell people this firmly, perhaps while adding you are considering your carbon footprint of course and it seems the most responsible thing to do.

I totally get you OP. We are the same. Just happy to spend time at home, pottering, reading, catching up with friends for coffee/lunch/dinner. To be honest I would hate to use a 1 or 2 week block of annual leave and not spend any time in my own home. Everyone is different, there is a woman at my work who feels hard done by if she does not go abroad at least twice a year. This same woman is forever saying how skint she is and that she can't afford the home improvements she wants done. It is all about what you prioritise.

@SunsetBunny Oh yes, the weekend pressure! It became a running joke where I used to work that I did literally nothing with my weekends. My colleagues' weekends were filled with museums, breakfasts, visiting friends, weddings, cinema. Ugh. No. I have PJs and a TV and wine, thanks.

I get you OP.
I get the same look I get when I say I don't like musicals or Take that and I'm in my 40s and that is the law......

But I do feel this is similar to the pressure to do something at weekends. “Any plans for the weekend”, “what did you do at the weekend” etc... which I know we all do to make conversation, but it makes you feel like you’re not living if you don’t have some kind of event planned

I agree. I used to find being in work such an ordeal because of this. My weekends seemed to to consist of going to the supermarket on a Saturday and the DIY shop on a Sunday. Gosh I knew how to live! And my colleagues seemed to be constantly doing exciting things, having dinner parties, visiting museums and galleries etc.

I do like going away but as I mentioned on another thread, after wondering how people could go to the same place year after year, now do exactly that. It's going away, we get a plane (could get a ferry but they are unreliable and get cancelled a lot and I am not sure they are so much eco-friendlier anyway), but we know the hotel, the area, what we can do, the nice places to eat, there is a parkrun I can do, nice places to cycle and run etc. We do go to other places to but I never find those holidays as relaxing.

DH would like to go somewhere for a fortnight but I prefer shorter breaks. I like going away but not for very long.

I'm not keen on musicals either. I've been to a couple but wouldn't go out of my way to go to them.

I do like Take That but prefer listening at home as I can listen to the songs I like rather than the ones they want to play at a concert.

thecatsthecats

That's hilarious, you made me spit out my tea!

I think in most cases people don't care how you actually spend your weekends, it's just a way to make small talks without going into personal details.

If you like doing absolutely nothing, why not. I can't understand that either, but I don't disagree with you making your own choices.

I agree, it's small talk. I like a holiday but it's not the priority for me. DH feels the same. He always says " How good can it be to have spent £3000k in a week"

I don’t think people really care though. It’s small talk similar to ‘did you have a nice weekend?’ I’ll never be in the holidays are essential camp but so enjoy them. I had some lovely luxury holidays pre kids and just don’t enjoy them in the same way with small people. I’m saving our holiday spends for when the youngest is 3/4 and then we’ll start again but I’d rather have an amazing holiday every 2-3 years than an ok one every year.

It is a bit same 'shit different plac' when chn are small. We have had a holiday every year, since they were born(18 yrs) from caravan breaks to AI to villas and city breaks. I am so looking forward to child free breaks(youngest is 15 so not long now)

It is all about what you prioritise
This. I am in my house every day so would rather have a nice house/garden than splurge thousand on a week or two away. But, I respect those who feel the opposite way.

I am the sort who enjoys my holiday, I often by means of polite conversations mention it. I would hate anyone to take offence. It's just one of those things that tends to pop up . I will think twice before using it again.

To be honest, based on your description of your life I’d quite happily take a holiday to come to your house and chill out with your DP.