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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WWYD .... think we are being Ghosted

37 replies

Iamnotagoddess · 02/07/2019 20:28

We met a couple about 4 years ago on holiday who live about a hour away from us.

We have kept in touch, and both attended each other’s weddings (hen dos) gone away for weekends together and stayed at each other’s homes a few times.

They are a bit younger than us. I leant the lady my veil for her wedding (she didn’t wear it in the end) but it was clear it was a loan, and it was expensive.

She has some issues and sometimes drinks too much and he can be a bit of a stick in the mud and doesn’t like going on holiday or deviating from his routines meaning the last few times we have arranged to see them they have cancelled. Her mother expressed to me concerns over his behaviour towards her sometimes and DH and I feel that ultimately the union may not last as they seem to want completely different things from life.

DH has limited time at home and our weekends are quite precious so we have kind of just let it go a bit and the last few times we have texted or contacted them we have had no reply. I am a bit concerned tbh that all is ok. But not sure what to do.

If it is just a case of the friendship kind of ending I will be sad if the friendship is over, but I accept sometimes these things happen, but also I would like my wedding veil back as I want to sell my dress at some point.

So what do I do? They could just be busy Confused

OP posts:
ISayWhatNow · 02/07/2019 20:34

I'd send a message saying something along the lines of "Hey guys, haven't heard from you in ages, is everything ok? It would be great to catch up. Also - I have a buyer for my wedding dress so I need the veil back, if that's ok? The lady wants to collect it next week. Xxx"

Iamnotagoddess · 02/07/2019 20:36

I texted a few weeks ago saying, please can I have my veil back as I would like to sell my dress and heard nothing. Then sent a message at the weekend asking if everything is ok. DH texted the guy a while ago asking about meeting up and radio silence Confused - do I write a letter....?

OP posts:
TowerRavenSeven · 02/07/2019 20:39

I think you can kiss your veil goodbye, it sounds like she doesn’t have it!

Iamnotagoddess · 02/07/2019 20:43

Tbf I don’t have any reason to believe she would have done anything with it.

OP posts:
Socksontheradiator · 02/07/2019 20:43

I also think something has happened to the veil, and they are laying low. Can you sell the dress without it. And yes I think you have been ghosted.

ohhelpohnoitsa · 02/07/2019 20:43

Ring them

Iamnotagoddess · 02/07/2019 20:48

I kind of feel that if they are ignoring a text they will ignore phone calls.

The veil was in a box so I can’t really see what harm it could have come to.

I think a part of me is a bit worried about his behaviour now they are married.

OP posts:
ISayWhatNow · 02/07/2019 20:51

I mean, I know it's a lie but it's a presumptive question so she will (hopefully!) feel obliged to reply and arrange to get your veil back to you.

Iamnotagoddess · 02/07/2019 20:54

@ISayWhatNow

Yes Grin

OP posts:
Thursday452poh · 02/07/2019 20:55

I reckon that the veil got damaged and or lost after the wedding and she is ignoring you off the back of it

MatildaTheCat · 02/07/2019 20:57

Try phoning her from a different number. She might pick up.

It sounds as if they are, unfortunately, ghosting you but you should make her give the veil back.

Iamnotagoddess · 02/07/2019 20:57

@Thursday452poh

She didn’t wear it.

OP posts:
TheTrollFairy · 02/07/2019 21:01

She probably doesn’t have the veil anymore - either sold if, damaged it (after the wedding as she didn’t wear it) or binned it

nothingtowearever · 02/07/2019 21:02

Put an ID block on your number and call. How rude of her!

Hellywelly10 · 02/07/2019 21:05

Id let it go op.

AllFourOfThem · 02/07/2019 21:07

I suspect the veil is the whole reason you aren’t hearing from them. I’d call from a withheld number and tell her you are driving down this week to collect it.

Hippychick78 · 02/07/2019 21:08

Definitely ring from a number unknown to them, otherwise I don't see how they will respond. People can be really shit, I got you can get it back. Id just go straight into can she meet you x day to return the veil 👰

Iamnotagoddess · 02/07/2019 21:20

They are a few layers here.

I am worried about her, she was a troubled person, who said she looked up to me and used to ask me for support/advice who has potentially married someone who has reported to have been slightly grumpy and controlling by my friend and her mother.

I accept friendships end - but I want my veil back 😂😭

OP posts:
Thegirlintheflowerypyjamas · 02/07/2019 21:21

Maybe she didn't wear the veil because she had already damaged it? I also think the veil is the reason why you're being ghosted

Andylion · 02/07/2019 21:22

Are you in contact with her mother at all?

nespressowoo · 02/07/2019 21:23

Call her

HarryElephante · 02/07/2019 21:25

Call them. Retro, I know.

NCforthis2019 · 02/07/2019 21:26

i hope she hasn't sold it. :(

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 02/07/2019 21:28

That's my feeling on this, I bet she's sold it and is now thinking 'Oh shit'

FetchezLaVache · 02/07/2019 21:31

I agree with Chebby - even though you made it clear it was a loan, she's sold it.

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