Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that maternity leave and part time working will damage my career?

55 replies

Walktwomoons · 02/07/2019 18:16

I started a new career recently.
I really want to take the full 12 months maternity leave, and can just about afford to.
However, I know that maternity leave and part time work are the chief reason for the pay gap. I also know this will be even more the case to me since I am already new-ish.
AIBU to think that the less leave I have, and the quicker I'm back full time, the better for my career? Am I choosing between damaging my career or damaging my child?

OP posts:
EskewedBeef · 02/07/2019 18:37

Remember that maternity leave after about 4-6 months is pretty much exclusively for your benefit, the kids are just as happy in a good daycare/at a good childminders etc!

What are you basing that assertion on?

upandawaytoday · 02/07/2019 18:38

Sorry in my reply I realise I didn’t answer your question: working full time in all likelihood will not have an adverse effect on your child (though I don’t think anyone can assert that for sure) - children will thrive with good caregivers. But you may miss spending time with your child. Careers can most likely recover if you don’t take a very prolonged period out of full-time work. But only you and your partner can decide what’s right for your family.

Lazypuppy · 02/07/2019 18:38

I actually think the part time working ia worse for your career than 9/12months maternity.

Working full time will not damage your child.

ShastaBeast · 02/07/2019 18:44

I guess it’s fairly unavoidable that it will impact. No being around for months or a day or two off a week means you aren’t around to take on some opportunities, don’t have as much capacity. A good employer will understand and value what you can do but things still need doing when you aren’t at work. I definitely feel the impact with one day less, the routine gets done but I have less time for the development work.

EatsShoootsAndLeaves · 02/07/2019 18:46

I had a year off maternity and was declined part time hours on my return, so quit my job to take a lower paid, part time job elsewhere. I don't regret taking the time to spend with my baby, but he's 4 now and I'm still not in as good a position as I was before maternity. If you can afford the hit, that time is so precious. But yes, in my experience it negatively impacts your opportunities.

Tableclothing · 02/07/2019 18:53

Remember that maternity leave after about 4-6 months is pretty much exclusively for your benefit, the kids are just as happy in a good daycare/at a good childminders etc!

What are you basing that assertion on?

If you go on Google Scholar and skim the literature the consensus seems to be that there are no appreciable differences in cognitive or emotional development between children who attend daycare and those who don't. There does seem to be a small effect that those who attend daycare are better socialised to getting on with their peers.

Kashali · 02/07/2019 18:58

Nobody who works full time will admit to it damaging their child, otherwise they wouldn't be doing it, surely.
There is only you who can answer this, we all have different views.

Ivyleaf4 · 02/07/2019 18:58

I guess it depends on your industry, but in my organisation working part-time is more likely to hold you back than taking a long maternity leave.

If you're career focused, could your DP go part time? Or you could both reduce your hours but only slightly (e.g. both go to 80% or 90% hours)?

Grasspigeons · 02/07/2019 19:01

so many questions so I couldn't do the poll

  1. I don't think maternity leave particularly damages careers - I have seen plenty of people take the full year once or twice and it hasn't had much impact at all. It depends on you and your industry. I went back at 9 months and it was fine.
  1. I think part-time working does stall / end careers, but it does keep you in the workplace and keep skills current but I believe it is part time working the has the biggest impact and the longer in goes on the more impact it has.
  1. I don't think FT working damages your baby - as long as their needs get met they seem pretty happy. Having a stable loving home can take lots of forms. Having very good quality childcare and then providing lots of love and stability around that is good parenting as is staying at home. Children are adaptable.
Sadie789 · 02/07/2019 19:03

I came back from mat leave to discover I was persona non grata, job roles and responsibilities had been gobbled up by various new colleagues, boss wanted nothing to do with me because I was a “part timer” albeit 4 days a week. I’m on mat leave now for second time with no intention of going back because I know my career at that company is finished.

SignedUpJust4This · 02/07/2019 19:04

Agree with others. It very much depends on industry but I felt PT work did far more damage than a year mat leave

TeachesOfPeaches · 02/07/2019 19:05

If you're ambitious, part time work will kill your career. Don't think I've ever met a man who works part-time hours in a professional job.

Benes · 02/07/2019 19:13

table is correct but there are other factors. The quality of childcare is very important.

One of the biggest factors in a child's development is actually poverty.

Grasspigeons · 02/07/2019 19:15

TeachesOfPeaches - I have but they do important man things like golf (my dentist and my consultant for medical stuff both do golf every Thursday) or go to the 'county club' for networking and lunch (my old solicitor boss every single Friday from 10am) or cycling (my pilot neighbour who does PT hours which means as he flies long-haul he seem to basically work 1 flight a month from what I can see)

However they do it when they have reached the top but unfortunately that's about 10 years after women tend to have a baby.

LittleGinBigGin · 02/07/2019 19:17

Completely fucked my career, I was high flying until I had children and went part time.

I was passed over for promotions etc I was given no training for 6 years.

I’m still now part time but work 4 days in a better job and I’m having training thrown at me, I’m hoping to have a secondment shortly.

Redcliff · 02/07/2019 19:17

I know women in local government/charities/civil service who have had long mat leaves and/or been PT and still been promoted (infact one who was promoted 3 weeks before she went on mat leave). I suspect private organisations are a bit more hit and miss.

Teachermaths · 02/07/2019 19:20

It depends on your industry.

In teaching, part time can dampen any prospect of promotion but taking full maternity leave has no impact. You pick up where you left off. Also men are just as likely to be off for poorly children as women in my school.

Original poster
Walktwomoons · 02/07/2019 19:21

Perhaps using the words "damage my child" was over dramatic. I grew up with a sahm until I was in school,so I feel very nervous about going against my upbringing. However I can see that it has massively affected her career opportunities. I was hoping that perhaps the world had moved on more.

OP posts:
Di11y · 02/07/2019 19:22

if your planning on returning ft I'd have my 12 month maternity. it's definitely the ongoing part time working that has the greater impact.

Sandybval · 02/07/2019 19:28

Take the 12 months and see what you want to do then, part time does (wrongly) make it harder to get promoted, and people (again wrongly) sometimes have a view that you aren't considered equal to those who work full time. It depends where you work though, and what the organisation looks like as to how much part time hours could hinder you. But those few years before school are a small fraction of your working life, so see how you go.

haveuheard · 02/07/2019 19:29

People who are about 35 now are going to work until they are at least 70 unless they can afford to retire early. Plenty of time for several careers!

ChibiTotoro · 02/07/2019 19:32

If it's possible for you to return doing a condensed week then I would definitely recommend that. I work part time now and my options work wise feel pretty much non existent now.

noodlenosefraggle · 02/07/2019 19:37

I think yes it does. I did that and have worked part time for 11 years. Status wise I'm lower down the ladder than I was but that's mainly my choice. My friend worked with me, has children a bit older, took max maternity leave but went back full time. Her children are as nice and as annoying as mine. They do however, live in a far bigger house Grin

melissasummerfield · 02/07/2019 19:40

As much as it was/is pushed on women that they can have it all, it very rarely works out that way.

Maternity leave will not affect your career, but having a child will unless you are prepared to barely see it during the week and not take time off for sickness, school plays etc.

alidew · 02/07/2019 19:43

Unfortunately I have to agree that working part-time has had a severe impact on my career, that and stints of being a stay at home mum, mean my CV is in tatters and I'm struggling to get back to any semblance of a career. I now earn half what I did at the start of my career in 1994 and feel I am using about 5% of my brain. I don't think it was worth it as the children can't remember all the school shows I went to and all the bloody cupcakes I've baked over the years for school stuff. Husband's career has not been affected in any way by children as he has continued working full time. Wish I had too.