Would you go to your graduation if the course you are graduating in impacted on your mental health?

[Leapoffaith00]

Qualified as a mental health nurse in March. I studied for 2 years to gain a foundation degree and then 3 years to gain a degree in nursing. It was the hardest thing I have ever done whilst bringing up my dc's as a single parent.
I hated every minute of it. I kept going as it was too late to change my mind (mature student). Every placement I would think, this us the ace I will feel some kind of desire to work within it. Never did!!
It's over now! I can't even apply for jobs as it makes me anxious just thinking about it.
I continued with the degree to prove to myself (or was it) that I could complete something. I could over one challenges. Part of me knows I kept going because of ego. Proving I could be something/someone. I had a not do nice childhood where my step father would tell me I wouldn't amount to much, I am lazy, I wasn't allowed to visit home when I left at 17, he made me think I was useless. So I know why I kept going even though working in mental health impacted on my own. Now - I graduate next week. The cap and gown kept me going. But.....I'm not happy. I didn't get a feeling that I thought I would. I feel nothing. I actually feel worse as now I feel shame that I'm not going to use my degree. Do I go? Just for a photo in my cap and gown. What does this really prove? Will I regret it?

I started hating my course at the end of the 2nd year (out of 4). I was miserable for the final two but stayed because I felt it was better to have the qualification than not and I was over half way by that point.

By the time I graduated I knew I didn't want to go to the ceremony. So I didn't. That was 13 years ago and I still do not regret my decision. I was abroad during the ceremony, having a wonderful time with new friends and not thinking about it at all! I had no interest in paying my college to smile and pretend like they didn't make me miserable and treat me like crap.

Don't go OP! Do something special on that day instead, you don't need the ceremony, you won't regret not going. Be kind to yourself instead.

I'm so torn! The idea of hiring the cap and gown and having pics appears a good idea and then do something else. I did hear on the radio there is a ladies day at the racecourse 🤔 although my daughter's are 11 and 14, a little too young.
I can honestly say, you have all helped me. I have just booked in to see the careers advisor - earliest they can see me is the 15th but I'm so glad I'm able to access that. I have booked at another campus so I don't have to go back to mine.
For the first time in such a long time - I feel a sense of hope today and that is because of all of you lovely people. I was beginning to feel like I was going a little crazy as it's just been me and my own thoughts for so so long. I don't see many people so I am so happy I found MN.

OP

Just a thought but have you considered working in a prison? The salary for a prison officer is on a par with a nurse salary but there are lots of other roles.

I have an uncle who went from working in a psychiatric hospital to woking, still as a MH nurse but in prison with people who are 'criminally insane' - there might be a kinder label these days.

Another relative went from MH nursing to being in the police.

Oh and I'm glad you are feeling hope, there really is an entire world of opportunity open to you. That's what education does, it gives you choices and opportunities.

I would go.
I didn't want to go to my graduation for multiple reasons.
One being that my final few year's at Uni burnt me out completely and I had lost a lot of my original calling for the profession I was training in.
The second being I felt like I wasn't worthy of the degree I had achieved-mostly due to the above grades were actually fine despite the burnout,
Thirdly my parents had passed away so it was another significant life step that there was a hole where they would have been.

I went in the end after mulling it over for a very long time without discussing it with anyone....it was just assumed of course you go.

In the end I made a point of getting hair and makeup done and treating it like a formal occasion(something I very rarely do) My boyfriend, brother and family came along and we had a lovely meal afterward...and in hindsight, I'm very glad I went. It was my low self worth at the time that was hindering me.

I have pictures on the day with the token pose with the degree-never printed lol and I have several of myself and some friends that I actually look back on and smile when I see them!
Being handed the cert and the handshake strangely enough actually did help me feel more like actually, I earned this fair and square and helped with my confidence and imposter syndrome issues.

Also turns out I love the job my degree gives me the ability to work at as well and am quite good at it! I just had a hard time as a student.

There are many other things you could do with your degree though. Have a chat with a career advisor and see what you can do...

Finally, well bloody done on finishing when you were struggling.
Not quitting when things are hard is incredibly difficult to do and a great example to set for your kids. No matter what you decide. You did this and you earned the degree and it is something that cannot be taken away from you.

Hi there OP from another nurse (not MH) and huge congratulations on getting your degree! I know there has been good advice regarding following a different career to nursing and I am no great advocate of working in the NHS in the current climate, BUT if you got just a bit of "nursing" experience under your belt it would open doors to other, more flexible and lucrative opportunities. I'm thinking agency work for 111 service - well paid and flexible or DWP assessor when you work office hours (if you have the right skill set for fast & accurate report writing), or possibly work with young people as part of the CAMHs team?
If you could even bring yourself to do a few months bank nursing on a pt basis while addressing your past issues, then you could look at less "strictly nursing" jobs and possibly find something to suit.
Just a final thought, but please don't undersell yourself and apply for posts for which you are over qualified and will be underpaid...
Take Care of Yourself!

Well done! You graduated, despite hardships, this is an amazing achievement. This reminds me a bit of my graduation...I had a breakdown in my final year, partly due to hating the course, but completed it anyway and graduated with honours. I attended graduation, but didn’t sleep the night before, due to anxiety, and look awful on the photos! Never mind, my parents and I and my best friend and her parents had a lovely meal to celebrate and my memories of the day are not entirely negative as a result. Do you have friends on the course, with whom you could celebrate? That would make al the difference.

Get that photograph. You have worked long and hard and have the mental battle scars to prove it!
Having a degree is an achievement and will open the door to other roles. A big part is showing the level you can work at rather than all about the subject you have qualified in.

Congrats, OP!

I was around your DD's age when my mum graduated - her graduation picture is one of my most loved possessions, even all these years later, and is still up on display in my home. There's no shame whatsoever in not pursuing your field - and having achieved a degree will open all sorts of doors as so many jobs require one. Kudos to you for keeping going and getting there

The Ceremony means very little and no you should not attend if makes
You anxious !

Could you focus energy instead on finding a
Role that can use your experience

If you don’t want to do the nursing what are the side way roles
Admin
Reporting
Business side

Etc ? So admin or business support where your knowledge is useful

What do you want to do ?