Surely I'm not the only one with this 'attitude' is it a bad way to be?

[HereForAdvice2019]

Couldn't think of a better word other than attitude?

I see lots of threads about kids parties for example
Feeling like they have to invite whole class or siblings. And it just amazes me.
I have a teen and until 10 he had parties or activities every year.. He was told you can invite x amount of kids depending on the activity and price. It was his choice. If he didn't want to invite the child he's played with the most for whatever reason then so be it. It's his birthday. Likewise there was parties he didn't get invited to.. He always understood because like his own parties he knew that they had limits to numbers.
When I see people be In a 'dilemma' when a CF has asked to bring a sibling.
My first thought,( and i have done in similar situations,) is just reply 'no sorry unfortunately there's not space or whatever, feel free to drop of the invited child and leave with me its no problem'

Same for things like weddings. We're getting married soon. And we invited who we wanted.. There was no 'well if we invite cousin '1 and 4' we have to also include '2 and 3.' just because their siblings of each other. If we don't see them or have much contact then why would it matter. Same with aunts and uncles, friends etc. Especially fake ones..
Even when my nan said its unfair we didn't invite xyz.. Well unfortunately in our opinion it's our wedding and it's what we want.

My mum often says I'm like my dad and am 'hard faced' but surely that's not a bad thing
.. Is it?

I'm not horrible person and I help anyone who needs it. However I won't let people take me for a ride.. If they do, that's that, no more favors.
If someone back stabs me..thats me going nc with them.
Because of this I have fewer good friends than most, with lots of friends I see occasionally. But i think that's good because it means they're proper friends.

by doing things your way and assuming other people's upset is their problem, not yours

Op, what do you do when it's you who's made a mistake and inadvertently hurt someone or done wrong by them? What do you do then? Nobody is perfect so it will happen, whether intended or not.

Do you take responsibility for your own actions or do you still say "fuck it, that's their problem"? Even though it's actually yours in that scenario.

You realise there is a middle ground between being a doormat and treating everyone around you as disposable, refusing to forgive their human propensity to make the occasional mistake?

It reads like you got hurt when you were being caring towards someone and now you've decided to be the one who doesn't care about hurting others so nobody else gets the chance to hurt you again.

Caring for others is an important part of human social behaviour and relationships. Cutting yourself off from that part of yourself in an attempt to shield yourself from pain or vulnerability is very extreme.

That's not to say I think it's necessary to do whole class parties or invite everybody and their dog to your wedding. I'm responding to the other parts of your posts, because you've conflated two different things.

I’d much rather be friends with one of you then 10 people pleasers/ ditherers who worry endlessly about what other people think. Definitely not hard faced. If more people tried to be like this it would change their lives