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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think boss shouldn't be doing this

74 replies

sounrealistic · 30/06/2019 22:44

So I work in retail. Well known supermarket.
Opens at 7am tomorrow. I’m a supervisor and also a key holder so I can open up.

Probably once a month a supervisor who is meant to be opening up will call in sick the night before, or have family problems etc.
So this means the boss is calling me up at 10.15pm asking if I can work at 7am the next day.
I have preschooler children who I cannot find childcare for at 10.30pm at night.
I feel really pressurised and now I’m being asked what time I can come in, and what time I can contact my childminder.
I think boss wants to open up at 7am and then me to cover as soon as I can find somewhere for the kids to go.
It’s so bloody stressful.
I end up saying no to him all the time, but then I can passed up for overtime in the evenings that I could do, or any extra hours on my contract.
I am flexible and I can work most hours, providing I have childcare and I’m not being asked at stupid o clock at night.

OP posts:
Original poster
sounrealistic · 30/06/2019 22:45

Get passed up for overtime that should say.

OP posts:
VeThings · 30/06/2019 23:00

Say your childminder has changed her policy and will only provide childcare with x amount of notice.

The manger is hassling you because you’re not being clear on boundaries and are running around trying to organise childcare. They are paid more than you and it’s for them to worry about cover, not you.

It’s better to be clear that you can’t help without x amount of notice, so they know you are not an option, instead of maybe being an option but not really sure.

LannieDuck · 30/06/2019 23:04

Not helpful now, but in future - make sure you have caller ID, and don't answer your phone to work in the evenings.

PanamaPattie · 30/06/2019 23:14

Your manager and your colleague are both being unreasonable. Your colleague shouldn't leave it until silly o'clock on a Sunday night to call in sick or whatever excuse it is this month. Your manager shouldn't call you either as they know you will say no because of your child care issues. Firm boundaries are needed.

billy1966 · 30/06/2019 23:14

I would create a trail of texts OP.
Stating that you can't accommodate last minute requests because of childcare etc.
If you feel you are being past over because of these unreasonable requests then at least you have grounds for a grievance.
Good luck.

HouseworkAvoider10 · 30/06/2019 23:16

Yes I also think you may have grounds to raise a grievance.

Smarshian · 30/06/2019 23:17

I don’t think your boss is necessarily being unreasonable by asking but I think you need to make it clear that you require more notice.
I guess he can’t ask you until he is aware that the other colleague is sick.

Original poster
sounrealistic · 01/07/2019 07:00

I’m still being messaged this morning asking what hours I can do today.
I really don’t want to do any. It’s meant to be my day off and I’ve got a million things to do.
But I probably should try and find childcare and go in for a few hours.

OP posts:
Mokepon · 01/07/2019 07:05

Why? Why should you try to find childcare and go in on your day off?
Agree with PP you need to set clear boundaries or they will keep trying to take the piss.

Mokepon · 01/07/2019 07:06

All you need to say is "It's my day off and I cannot come in."
If they ask for a reason just repeat It's my day off.

Isleepinahedgefund · 01/07/2019 07:08

They're taking the piss, they know it and you're letting them. Say no - they will soon move on to the next person.

It's your employer's job to have a clear contingency for the manager being sick - I suspect the manager is using you to cover up that they can't be bothered going in because they fancy another day in the sunshine. Have they gone away for the weekend? If you say no, will they miraculously appear anyway?

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 01/07/2019 07:09

Just say you cannot come in and that your childminder does not have any availability.

CircleofWillis · 01/07/2019 07:10

I wouldn't say "it's my day off' but I would say 'I can't come in' firmly and repeatedly. How many other possibilities are there and why are you the one being pressured to work?

Lovestonap · 01/07/2019 07:10

When asked to do extra hours I couldn't do i was always feeling apologetic, then I realised I wasn't the one who had let them down and I shouldn't be apologetic. So I started answering 'thank you for asking me but I'm not able to do those hours. I hope you find someone. Take care (or however you'd end your text). Leaving out the sorry bit adding in a thank you meant it still read politely but there was no room for them to pressure. This seemed to work, and also underlined that I did like to be considered when extra hours were available.

Original poster
sounrealistic · 01/07/2019 07:11

My husband is also agreeing that I should say no.
I’m not great at telling them no.
Also I’ve asked for overtime, meaning if they give me plenty of notice then I can help out.
They whinge that they offer me overtime and I never take it, and then they eventually stop offering.
It’s not actually overtime they’re offering though, it’s last minute emergency cover.

OP posts:
adaline · 01/07/2019 07:12

Is it the chain beginning with an A? When I worked there they were notorious for taking the piss and ringing people to come in at the last minute, then getting huffy when they said no Hmm

I would just stop answering your phone out of work - you have your days/contract - if they want or need you to work overtime they need to ask you in advance and not expect you to say yes all the time!

Original poster
sounrealistic · 01/07/2019 07:15

There’s only 3 supervisors/key holders (plus manager) who is off on long term sick so the deputy manager is running the show.
If one supervisor calls in sick then the other 2 of us get hounded to go in.
Other supervisor has caved and gone in to open at 7am but now she’s asking if I can take over at some point.

OP posts:
adaline · 01/07/2019 07:18

Don't be guilted into going into work - if you keep saying yes, they'll keep pestering you!

Kittekats · 01/07/2019 07:19

It’s a tricky one. They are being out of order by making you feel guilty for saying no to the last minute request but you have asked for extra hours and are being offered extra hours and turning them down. After a while I too would stop offering.

azulmariposa · 01/07/2019 07:20

I wouldn't answer the phone. Then when he says why didn't you answer- I'd reply- sorry I have babies, we were asleep.

There's no way that he should call you at that time of night, and it's not fair that he expects you to find childcare at such short notice. I'd give up the key.

adaline · 01/07/2019 07:22

but you have asked for extra hours and are being offered extra hours and turning them down.

She has small children and isn't even being given 12 hours notice! That's not extra hours - that's "shit, we're short staffed - who can we guilt into giving up their day off?"

Overtime where I am is planned at least four weeks in advance - I would never ring someone up with seven or eight hours to go and expect them to be able to work, especially if they had young children!

Nautiloid · 01/07/2019 07:22

What if anything does your contract say about emergency cover? Mine is very clear that we have to do a 'reasonable' amount of it. It's not clear what constitutes reasonable. But I work with reasonable people so it works out ok though still irritating as we have staff shortages all the time.
If it's not in your contract, I'd also go for saying your childminder has a new policy which requires a certain amount of notice.

Morgan12 · 01/07/2019 07:23

Don't go! Stick to your guns. You deserve your day off. I'd text and say you are not able to arrange any childcare and can't come in at all.

Original poster
sounrealistic · 01/07/2019 07:24

Nothing in my contract about emergency cover.

OP posts:
GPatz · 01/07/2019 07:27

Kittekats

That's not being offered extra hours. That's emergency cover

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