To think boss shouldn't be doing this

[sounrealistic]

So I work in retail. Well known supermarket.
Opens at 7am tomorrow. I’m a supervisor and also a key holder so I can open up.

Probably once a month a supervisor who is meant to be opening up will call in sick the night before, or have family problems etc.
So this means the boss is calling me up at 10.15pm asking if I can work at 7am the next day.
I have preschooler children who I cannot find childcare for at 10.30pm at night.
I feel really pressurised and now I’m being asked what time I can come in, and what time I can contact my childminder.
I think boss wants to open up at 7am and then me to cover as soon as I can find somewhere for the kids to go.
It’s so bloody stressful.
I end up saying no to him all the time, but then I can passed up for overtime in the evenings that I could do, or any extra hours on my contract.
I am flexible and I can work most hours, providing I have childcare and I’m not being asked at stupid o clock at night.

They keep asking you because you say yes.

Just tell them,
You can do over time on XX occasions.
Dont go in today, you have plans.

In that case I'd set out clearly that you would like to be offered planned overtime and are very happy to do your share of this, but short notice work isn't possible. Then just keep saying no.

You need better co workers who dont go off sick/have family problems so frequently

Don't go in, just keep repeating that you are not available.And remind them that you need 48 hours notice because of your childcare requirements. Be calm, polite and utterly inflexible.

If you work for a supermarket chain, you're likely to be on very low wages anyway - your employers aren't paying you enough to be able to take advantage of you like this.

If this is happening regularly they need to put a better plan in place.

And yy to starting this today. Don't go. If you are penalised for it, I'd look into whether you have a grievance though I don't know much about that.

Just say no.

You're not doing them a favour, you're fucking yourself over.

Your kids learn by watching you. Teach them that saying no is ok. It's the hardest thing for many people to learn, but teach them as a child and it will be easy.

I used to be easily guilted into cover/cancelling holiday/staying late/going in early, in another work setting. I recently had major surgery, and had no support whatsoever from my manager. It’s made me think about things differently, and I am feeling that my health (or in your case, your family) should come first.

Saying politely, but firmly, ‘it’s my day off, and I have plans. Thank you for offering me the extra hours, but I can’t do them on this occasion. I hope you find someone. Take care.’ - is a very appropriate answer. Someone else is paid to manage these situations, and it’s not your place to find solutions. You work hard when you’re there, but it’s unreasonable to give you such little notice - you could reasonably have been in bed asleep, and not got the message. I’d suggest you go with not answering in the future.
Good luck.

I used to be asked to go in occasionally on non-work day which, in the school holidays, was impossible.
I found the phrase “I would love to because the money would be useful but I’m afraid I have other commitments”. My commitments were childcare but they didn’t need to know that and it felt like a professional answer. It also helps to have some sort of rehearsed phrase like that to hand so that you don’t instinctively start offering to try and rearrange life when you know it can’t really be done.

Agree, dont tell blame the childcare
and also that it is not your problem to solve

As a key holder/supervisor you are not well placed to say no in an emergency. Perhaps you need to consider a different less pressured role until your children are older.

When/if this happens to me (I am a manager), only in a dire emergency, then I give my staff time off in lieu. But that is because I can't offer paid overtime at all. Either that or the shop opens late/closes early.

As a key holder/supervisor you are not well placed to say no in an emergency

Being a keyholder or supervisor isn't code for "we'll monumentally take the piss with you".

I'm a manager and therefore a keyholder where I work. Due to other commitments on days off I can't come into work on those days unless I'm given 48 hours notice - plenty of others are the same. My commitments could be children, or maybe I have plans or lie around in my pants watching Love Island - it's irrelevant.

A system where you need to ask someone to work overtime 8 hours in advance is absolutely ridiculous. They need more keyholder so there's two per shift in case one calls in sick or cannot get to work.

I would say you’re sorry but you can’t do the emergency cover this time because you have two appointments that you can’t cancel. They don’t need to know that one appointment is housework and the other is watching Netflix (or whatever it is you’re doing with your day off!).

Pleaseeeeee don’t cave in!
It is a form of harassment and bullying to effectively guilt trip/force you into helping.
If your contract doesn’t say emergency - short notice cover then don’t do it if it doesn’t suit.
I hate companies like this - I used to work for one every similar, I was heading for emergency surgery at 9pm and was getting texts saying they expected me to be in to open up at 8am on the Saturday.
Turn your phone off and enjoy your day off.

sounrealistic DH also works for a well known supermarket and this is why he has always to declined to become a supervisor. A few more pence per hour but a shed load more grief.

Is it worth requesting to step down from being a supervisor?

You need to have a face to face discussion where you explain that overtime when DH is home is use ful but if you have to get emergency childcare you are earning far less. They may have never had to think about stuff like that. Explain that nursery cannot always oblige and also that you need time of regularly to do all other stuff in your life.

The thank you for asking is good. You could start with that as it leaves a positive spin. To your colleague who has now on this occasion taken one for the team you can say sorry, I can't today. We have plans. Then stop answering your phone.
To the more senior person, just repeat you have plans. They aren't, after all putting themselves out for the team on this occasion.

It might help you to keep a record of when you are asked to cover and when everyone else is covering. Ideally you will see it works out evenly crappie for all. But if it doesn't then you could talk to the manager about why that is. It might be you have a colleague with regular medical needs or such, that takes them off consideration.
But do regularly, for your own sanity, draw strong lines around one day a week/ month whichever is best for you and yours. Mark it on a calendar and switch off the phone etc to fully disengage.

As already mentioned - providing emergency cover is not in your contract and that should be the end of it. It is ridiculous for management to expect you to cover at such sort notice and it is not your problem! I can imagine this happening to supervisors a lot as you’re a key holder and can therefore be taken advantage of in this way but it is up to your manager to have a contingency plan - you are not being paid extra for being on-call like this are you! Definitely bring this up with HR and do not feel guilty!

I’m still being messaged this morning asking what hours I can do today.
I really don’t want to do any. It’s meant to be my day off and I’ve got a million things to do.
But I probably should try and find childcare and go in for a few hours.

Just tell him you've got things arranged for today.

I bloody hate this culture where employers feel they've got the right to intrude into your non-working life. What about work-life balance, ffs?

If I reply to a work email on my days off, my boss wants to know why I'm looking at them!

As a key holder/supervisor you are not well placed to say no in an emergency. Perhaps you need to consider a different less pressured role until your children are older.

And that sort of attitude is what keeps women, who are more usually the primary carer, trapped in low-paid, junior positions, joystir59.

The deputy manager presumably gets paid a lot more than the OP and if one of the supervisors is unreliable, the manager needs to step up. That's what they get paid the extra money for - extra responsibility.

Imagine you live in London and on your day off you have taken a day trip to Brighton. You couldn't go to work in those circumstances. Be strong OP.

yes but, @LakieLady why should people get supervisor positions when they can't perform all the functions of a supervisor. If you have 2 where one has childcare problems and one doesn't, does that mean the one with no childcare problems should do more?

I agree that women have to be given the opportunity to work and advance - but sometimes we have to recognise that if you can't do it for a period for whatever reason, someone else has to take over. And if it happens often, it isn't fair to other people who either don't have children or who can organise childcare at short notice. The supervisors have to step up too, right? they are one step away from being manager themselves.

For the OP I'd say: stay firm, it is far too little notice and pressuring you now on your day off when you have said "no" isn't acceptable. It also sucks about overtime, but you have been clear to them, I guess, that you need notice? Then you just have to keep saying "no". Because if you say "no" then let yourself get talked into the stress of emergency arrangements and going in - that initial "no" is devalued and doesn't help anyone.

You need to shine your spine and be firm.
If you keep being such a doormat with them you can't complain when they walk all over you.

Send one text saying that this is your day off and you will not be accepting any work today. If they message again repeat.
Then when you go in ask to speak to your manager regarding their harassment of you during your time off.