AIBU to get 4 year a old a dog??

[tealady20]

I have one child 4 years old about to start FT soon. I work 2 days a week(leave at 7 back at 6pm) and I'm a single parent. I am not having more children. I would get a small one as only have a 2 bed nice size garden however. I do know that a dog requires a lot of work and love and care which I understand it would be all my responsibility. We normally have one week a year away. Can anyone talk some sense into me ? As I wouldn't ideally choose to get One but it's for my child to grow up with. I would love to have a cat I am allergic anyone have a pros and cons to help me ? Thanks so much xx

So you don't actually want a dog and you are out the house for 11 hours twice a week?
Don't get a dog.

I am 50/50 to be honest

What are you going to do on the days you work? You'll need a dog walker or someone to take the dog out at least once, preferably twice. Once really isn't enough. They need their walks. It's far too long to leave the dog alone.

In fact I'd say definitely twice or it needs to go to a dog sitter/dog daycare.

it's probably a bad idea. Ask yourself these questions - have you got someone who could walk the dog on the days you are working? Can you afford a dog - food, vets bills,insurance etc? Are you prepared to pick up all the poo from the garden? Are you prepared to train the dog properly? Do you want to be limited to holidays in this country unless you pay for kennels.
FWIW - we got a hamster when DS was 4. He is lovely and low maintenance and DS loves him. BUT we have to do all the cleaning and caring for said hamster

YADBU.
get the kid a stuffed toy.

If you are allergic to cats won't you be allergic to dogs too?

Do you really want to be walking a dog with your child in the pouring rain in November ?

It’ll be expensive because you’ll need a dog sitter on the days you work, the week you go away, any days you are out with the kids etc.

Yabu. you can get a dog for yourself if your life style suits it. You cannot get a dog for a child.

In fact look at The Doghouse topic for the realities of dog ownership.
You are not in the position to get a dog.

Why do you want a dog more for your four year old than yourself?

How about walking a local dog or offering to dogsit from time to time? You get the benefits of contact and can get to know one dog, but without the downsides. That is what we do, he comes to stay the odd weekend or holiday. Win win all round.

I do home assessments for rescue dogs and if the answer to ‘why have you decided to bring a dog into your home?’ its for my child, then it’s a definite no.
Have you the funds to pay for a dog walker twice a week? Are you going to go to training classes? Get insurance? Is your garden secure? Does your child have experience being around a dog? Is she respectful to animals?
These are some of the more important things to consider before anything else.

You can't leave a dog alone for 11 hours, so would need to plan for your working days.

I love my dog, but she still is quite an effort to care for sometimes (nothing like having to walk her in rain or snow when unwell). She costs a lot too. I would say it isnt a good plan unless you are really keen.

I wouldn’t in your position. We are planning to get a puppy later this year but I work 2 nights a week when DH is home. We have DGP who would dog sit for days out that a dog can’t come on and for holidays.

Also DGPs dog died recently at 17 years old. Many changes can happen over that length of time.

What about a guinea pug, they like being handled and wouldn’t be such a commitment.

Just don't do it. Not fair on dog to be alone while you work and what if you find you are allergic to it? Too many dogs are dumped at shelters due to owners suddenly finding they are allergic. Also a dog in the company of a young child needs to be fully trained can you afford the time and money for that?

You're an ideal candidate to join borrowmydoggy. That way you can get to walk and look after a dog without the full on commitment- we've just had our mutt returned from his sleepover with lovely borrowmydoggy lady.

Remember with a 4 year old, they'd need to come with you on every dog walk for a number of years. with us at least 13 yr old DS can do some of the walks and care by himself.

I posted on your other thread, but I will reiterate, do not get a dog or any other sort of pet for your child. You should get a pet because you, the adult, is passionate about it and has time for it.

YABU. VERY!
You don't have enough to offer the dog. It's too cruel.
Get some fish, a hamster or get involved with a dog walking charity.
Dogs are a tie. They are so much responsibility.
Every day through winter you would have to walk it. If your child is off sick from school with only you to look after him, you would still need to walk the dog.
You can't go for days out or stay later than planned.
I can't actually see how you'd cope with a puppy. You can't leave a puppy even with a dog walker popping in for 11 hours twice a week.
Soooo much work.

As long as your 4 year old can walk the dog every day, feed it, train it and cover the insurance and vet bills then that sounds like a great idea.

Yabu..
Would you not also be allergic to dogs?

Join Borrow My Doggy, and just have a dog every other weekend or something. In your situation I definitely wouldn't get a dog.

YABU. You can't leave a dog for 11 hours a day. You will need to pay a dog walker for two walks per day on your working days. But even then that is not ideal. Dogs need attention and company not just walks. I would say if you have to ask 'should I get a dog?' Then then ansewer is a definite NO. If you desperately wanted a dog for yourself, and you needed sensible suggestions on what you needed to do to make it happen, then I would say YANBU. But if you are unsure then definitely don't. I love my dog and she is super easy but it is a huge tie and commitment. What happens if your 4 year old does not want to go for a walk when the dog needs it? You can't leave a 4 year old at home. My DD lost interest after 2 weeks. At the very least wait until your DC can be left at home by self before considering this.

Behaviourist/trainer hat on...

Putting aside the two days a week you are gone for 11 hours (you would need a daycare or sitter, thats too long to leave any dog)...

Most rescues are not going to rehome to a single parent with a 4 year old...

You will need to be in two places at once, much of the time - divide up the household with gates/pens etc and it will take lots of time to teach the dog to be happy being separated from YOU by these gates/pens...

Your major focus, asides from settling a new dog into your home which can take a few weeks but more likely takes 6+ months, is actually ensuring your child is NOT interested in the dog, is 'meh' about the dog.

Kids who are 'magnetised' to dogs, are dangerous - they get in faces, they pull, they squeeze, they hit, they mither... they don't LISTEN to adults saying 'don't do that (they wait til you aren't looking and then 'do that')... and they are not actually CAPABLE of listening to the dog who may communicate by moving away, or by freezing, curling a lip, growling, snapping or if enough of this is ignored.. biting.

In effect you are raising TWO toddlers, one of which might well bite the other and which ever way around that is, it's not good news for either of them.

You'd need to search long and hard for a rescue willing to rehome to you, for good reason - even the best rescue in the world cannot fully and fool proofedly assess a dog and determine them safe with a toddler.

So you buy one from gumtree or facebook (totally unassessed, you have no idea of htat dogs history, experiences, nothing, major risk)...

Or you buy a puppy... no reputable breeder is selling you a puppy without some hard work from you to demonstrate how you will keep child and puppy seperate much of the time, or how you will deal with the time you are out of the house... (for sure there are disreputable people who will do so, don't buy from them. You will regret it sooner or later).

IF you do get a puppy, thats more like having four or five toddlers at once, and it is still vital you do not let your toddler become 'magnetized' to the puppy - that situation ends up with a dog that hates kids and a kid terrified of the shark-toothed bitey puppy.

I would strongly recommend you to wait now until your child can be relied upon to do as they are told, every time, when it comes to the dog, so probably another two or three years at the very least.

Then, I'd recommend you approach breed specific rescues for a dog that has been well assessed and kept in a foster home rather than a shelter environment. I like Irish Retriever Rescue for their fostering, training/behaviour input and i think a golden retriever is a good family dog.

My old neighbours had a dog and used to leave it alone for hours. They said it was ok as he was a very sleepy dog and slept all day. I informed them that “no he wasn’t a sleepy dog, as soon as they left the house the dog pretty much barked for most of the day.” Poor thing