AIBU to get 4 year a old a dog??

[tealady20]

I have one child 4 years old about to start FT soon. I work 2 days a week(leave at 7 back at 6pm) and I'm a single parent. I am not having more children. I would get a small one as only have a 2 bed nice size garden however. I do know that a dog requires a lot of work and love and care which I understand it would be all my responsibility. We normally have one week a year away. Can anyone talk some sense into me ? As I wouldn't ideally choose to get One but it's for my child to grow up with. I would love to have a cat I am allergic anyone have a pros and cons to help me ? Thanks so much xx

A dog is a lot of work. You will end up doing all of the work. Also, you would need someone to take the dog out for an hour mid day on the days you are at work. Or dog day care. The days you work, you could for example take the dog for a 20 mins walk in the morning before work and then have a dog walker come at 1pm to take the dog out for an hour. Then when you come home, take the dog out again for a nice walk or play. Or dog day care. Most people on here I am sure would say don't get a dog. But they can bring so much joy. You just need to do your research and make sure you can actually give it what it needs. We took a while to get a dog. But we got one eventually. We live on the edge of a dog park. I am a SAHM. When we go on holiday the au pair takes care of the dog, or we send her to stay w the dog groomer, who also runs a dog daycare. She brings such job.

I think it depends greatly on the child tbh.
We got DC a puppy at five. We already had an elderly dog and DC wanted a dog to grow up with, so to speak.

We agreed on the basis that DC would have to do all of its care, and that to show he had the maturity and commitment for the next year he'd have to help me with everything our horses needed doing, 24/7, night and day, rain and shine. They had to come first regardless of what he'd rather do, without complaint and always with love, patience and care.

Sure enough DC did, and we got the puppy when the year was up (DC was 5 by then).
Several years on DC has been good as their word and done all of the care (with help where needed obviously) all the poop scooping, the walking, training, everything. They are the best of friends.

All of that said, I'm at home all the time and we have the space for DC to be able to walk and train DDog, and DC is unusually mature and selfless. Without those I wouldn't have entertained the idea. So in your case no, but not because of your DC.

How exactly was you exercise a dog adequately as a single parent to a 4 year old. Children are exhausted after school in the early days. They absolutely will NOT want to walk a dog every evening. They won’t want to walk a dog when it’s pouring with rain.
They win also forget to pick up their toys and their school shoes and the puppy will chew them.
It is a truly bad idea.

It doesn't sound like the right time OP. Now your child is 4 you will getting some time to yourself I imagine? With a dog in the house you will have to keep an eye on both of them constantly unless the dog is crated, you will have to take a 4 year old on walks with you, twice a day. It wouldn't be responsible, and possibly against school rules to do the school run with the dog. Days out will be planned around being back for the dog, or having to factor in the cost of kennels or a walker. The housework will take longer with a futty muddy dog in and out of the garden.

You want a dog for your child to grow up with.

Sounds to me like you have this romantic idea in your head of a sort of Enid Blyton child/dog relationship that probably rarely exists in real life. Most children lose interest in pets very quickly, hence all the rabbits/guinea pig/hamsters that get left alone in cages at the bottom of people's gardens.

Dogs require a huge commitment, both time and money, and tie you down. Is this what you want for the next 15 plus years.

And no, as pps have said you can't leave a dog for 11 hours.

No one should ever contemplate getting a dog for a child. Either you want a dog because you want an animal in your life with all that entails or you don't. It's got nothing to do with how you think your child's relationship with a dog might, or might not be like.

I don't think you understand the reality of what you'd be taking on. Please don't do it.

It's a terrible idea. If you got a dog who would look after it the days you work and when you go on holiday? Who is going to train it? Unless you earn megabucks from your two days work a week, you need to look into the cost of a dog walker twice a day and pay someone to care for it for a week when you go away. Don't forget pet insurance, vet bills can be massive and if you don't have the time or experience to train it yourself, you will need to pay a trainer. I'm sure you will love taking it out for a walk in the summer but think about the days when it's icy, pouring down with rain, not so jolly then but a dog still needs to be walked.

I can't think of any circumstance where buying a live animal for a four year old is appropriate.

Code of practice for the welfare of dogs & The Animal Welfare Act 2006 below.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/697953/pb13333-cop-dogs-091204.pdf

Experts recommend four hours as the maximum time period. The length of time individual dogs can be left varies, depending on factors such as age, training, previous experience of being left alone, breed or type, lifestyle and housing conditions. However, no dog should routinely be left on its own for prolonged periods.

I don’t think you should get a dog.

Its really like having another child in terms of responsibility. If you don't want another child dont get one. (And having a puppy is like having a baby).

YABU

Don’t get a dog unless you really want one. Getting one for a four year old is a terrible idea!

And you would need to factor in doggy daycare on your working days, 11 hours is much too long even for a calm older dog to be left

We got our DDog when DS was 6. All huge dog lovers, and he definitely hasn't lost interest in her after a year. HOWEVER, he flat out refuses to come on walks with her, ever since the first week when he got scratched by a bramble Recently persuaded him out and he fell in the river, so that'll probably be it for dog walks for another year.

Long story short, either DB or I need to be around to look after DS every day (twice a day) when the other walks DDog. We foresaw something like this, so it's fine. What will you do if your DC gets fed up with dog walks after a bit?

Didn't mean that in a snarky way btw - just something you'd need to plan for.

*DH ffs, not DB!

You’d be an awful person to get a dog when you know you can’t give it the care it needs.

Of course YABU. You are not at all in the right situation to give a dog a decent home where it will have enough of your time and attention.

Safe to say we won't be gettin a dog !! Maybe a hamster lol

We adopted our cat because the wee girl in the family who wanted to keep her in the first place (after our cat followed the family home from the park) lost interest in her and the mum wanted rid.

Our neighbour has two border terriers that she got for her kids and she leaves them alone for lengthy periods and they go MENTAL. I very rarely see her walking them. It’s an absolutely nuisance listening to them.

Do NOT get a dog for a child this young or that you need to leave alone for long periods. But thank you for at least considering the ins and outs of it: too few do.

Yes @tealady20 great decision 👍

I have a 16yo and a 14yo and only the eldest will do dog care related things.

I think dogs work well with older children, sorry I do

the dog does not listen to anything the youngest says at ALL and never has done, the dog also came to me from a home with small DC and although he’s lovely natured it was fucking chaos, so much noise the dog had no routine and just joined in with the DC in all kinds of naughty outrageous behaviour which got all too much for my relative and poor dog ended up living in the (large) kitchen and was over excited all the time from the DC being over excited.

There is dog poo - not just out of their bum, they eat it and roll in it. Dog walking, dog grooming, some dogs chew everything up (including DC toys as find it hard to tell the difference) so you will find yourself constantly moving things off the floor. They can eat EVERYTHING which also means moving all food plates etc, which is also stressful with small kids. Mine found some Oreos last week luckily I was wondering why suspiciously quiet...

Get a cat or a rabbit. Something way way less intense than a dog