To ask if being a nice person..

[SweetBirdOfTruth]

Makes up for being pug ugly? Or is it just completely irredeemable?

No offence to pugs intended.

‘Make up for’
‘Irredeemable’

A person’s appearance isn’t a character flaw or a failure.

Such is life that attractive people will initially have more doors opened for them but in order for them to maintain special treatment it helps if they are nice as well.

Unless they’re wealthy in which case they’ll do well no matter what they look like.

Less attractive people may find it harder in life but will often maintain better relationships with friends and colleagues because people will get to know them and enjoy their company etc.

Just for the record I am that ugly person.

It does feel like a terrible flaw to be honest.

A beautiful person can look ugly real quick if they're not a nice person. A nice persons personality will always shine through and make them beautiful. Always. You're not ugly don't put yourself down like that xx

I was ugly. Traditionally, I mean, really fat and ugly.

I felt I had to develop a pretty good personality to 'prove' I was interesting, nice, and worth being spoken to. I still felt I was invisible.

Then I got slim, healthy, had braces, laser eye surgery...I'm definitely less ugly. I'm the same person. Same personality.

But I hate to say that I get treated differently now, and very noticeably. A lot of interaction really is about looks.

I used to be beautiful, but less nice. I've got uglier and nicer as I've got older. I think most people preferred me before.

I'm afraid my ugliness is pretty much irredeemable.

In a way being ugly and invisible can be quite nice. It has some advantages. You can just get on with life without drawing attention to yourself.

Depends on the context. As a friend or colleague looks shouldn't matter but in a romantic relationship looks are at least part of it

To me personality trumps looks a hundred times over. You could have someone who is the most stunning person in the world but if they are cruel I wouldn't want anything to do with them. I think a lot of people feel the same.

However, if you feel down about yourself, that isn't good. Are there things you can work on changing if it would make you feel better? Or new outfits? Why do you say irredeemable?
xx

I agree with the post that someone beautiful on the outside can look pretty ugly quickly if they're ugly on the inside.

Looks are relative, we all find different things about people attractive. I'm no oil painting, but I'm ok with that.

I’m ugly.
No a good personality doesn’t make up for it in terms of how being attractive opens doors. Because unfortunately how you look is people’s first impression of you. I’ve tried to make myself look less awful with nice clothes, make up etc, but when you’re working with what I am it’s basically impossible. Even my husband and parents agree you you know it’s not bad 😂😭

I think if people get to know you then maybe they don’t notice so much after a while but I also think people are less keen you get to know you if you are ugly.

so you know it’s bad that should read!

People would probably describe me as ugly. I really think that what's on the inside matters more. I'd rather be ugly than cruel. I have friends and a partner who love me.

Who is it that you're concerned about?

I wouldn't have thought looks matter at all to most people - friends, colleagues, etc

Some people will always attach far too much importance to looks and treat others according to how they rate their attractiveness. Shallow people especially do this.

FWIW I don’t find the current «beauty « that so many young women seem to aspire to, ie fake tan, fake hair, fake nails, false eyelashes, heavy brows and plumped up lips in the least bit attractive.

What is attractive in the broadest sense of the word is a kind smile and a sense of humour.

I agree with @goodluckandgodspeed that when you get to know someone you don’t even notice their looks so much, whether good or bad!

Being ugly means that superficial people won't like you, but really decent people will judge you on your personality. I know my life would be easier if I was attractive, but my friends are real friends.

And my partner thinks I am beautiful so that is all that matters - I really am not.

I bet you can list things that make you a nice person.
My dh thinks he is ugly but to me he is handsome.
Others will find nice things about you inside and out imo....

I'm not sure anyone is ugly. People are just people. We all look different. Up until my late 20s I was conventionally extremely pretty. It does open doors, which I didn't step through since I had no self confidence at all. Years of poor choices and depression have taken their toll and now I am what some people might consider ugly. It's weird feeling invisible after years of too much attention, but I'm far happier.

People get used to "ugly". You might look horrendous on photos, but I swear you are not the only one.

However, if you make an effort in your appearance, take care of yourself, your hair, your general, people will see YOU , they get past everything else quickly. People who stink or look lazy and unwashed, unfit are not attractive.

Even the worst scars don't hide the person that wears them. They might shock the first time, but soon people don't even see them.

It's a very personal thing anyway. Look at celebs and couples everywhere. I can think of a few people who are in relationship whilst others really find them repulsive. It's more about attitude and general appearance that point blank "beauty or ugliness".

There's being born with 'unfortunate' looks and then there's ugly you create by being negative and horrid etc.
If you're a good person and eg choose to look after yourself because you value and enjoy life and people and health etc, then you will grow into your looks and your good nature will be attractive to others.
If you think of it in evolutionary terms, a person with a good positive nature, someone who perhaps brings people together, creates peace and happiness, is surely valuable and therefore attractive, regardless of the looks they inherited, because it will come across in their face and demeanour. You'd be worth breeding with!

the reverse is true. I can think of a couple of classically stunning people, way past beautiful, you could cry.

Then they open their mouth and it's over.

If you take care of yourself and your appearance, no one is "ugly" - you don't even need plastic surgery.