To ask if being a nice person..

[SweetBirdOfTruth]

Makes up for being pug ugly? Or is it just completely irredeemable?

No offence to pugs intended.

I am ugly earl. My parents are normal in appearance, I just got like the weirdest mix of them. So I’m quite manly looking with a weird nose and my eyes are too close together. My face is really tiny, but my cheeks are big - like a hamster with full pouches 😂 hair is fine, almost like it’s balding, and I can do nothing with it. I’m not overweight but it’s like any fat has dropped down so I’m skinny and flat chested and then my hips and legs are massive.
Are you getting a really lovely image in your head? 😂 I have accepted it now. I can’t do anything about it can I?

I think being too attractive can make finding a job difficult, especially if you are a bit stupid too

I do try very hard to be a nice person. I've been called sweet and lovely, kind etc in that regard. Unfortunately though I still look like shit, even when I really try. I know it's not everything, but it does get to me.

goodluckandgodspeed
you probably don't have that classical symmetrical beauty that makes us weep when we look at photos. Most of us don't. 🤷

As long as you have no medical condition, you can transform your body with exercise, so that doesn't even count.

Clothes, hats, hairbands, wigs, accessories, are more than enough to blag it for the rest.

IF you look like shit - or feel like you do - you just need a restyle. Life is too short to feel miserable. Make yourself look the best you can, don't try to imitate someone else.

I am a big believer of sport and exercise - it helps you focus on the right things, makes you proud of your body and your achievement and makes you look great.

I went to school with a lass who at the time was stunning-really pretty-and a figure to die for but by god she was a cruel nasty cow
And it showed through like a dark shadow
I ended up moving next door to her years later and she’s really porked out lost her looks and was still the nasty evil bitch she’d always been
I’d rather be mates with someone kind than nasty-looks don’t count

Your not ugly just paranoid. Don’t try to be nice, be natural.

I have friends with big noses, sticky out teeth, giant bellies, hairy moles and double chins. I find them beautiful because they are kind, they smile, their hair is shiny, they smell nice, they radiate good energy and they make me feel good about myself.

I don’t think I’m the best looking person around but nor do I think I’m unattractive. Just fairly average.
I can’t think of a single person I’ve encountered that I would call ugly. Not one. And I work with the public all day every day so I see a lot of people everyday.
I think the majority of people think like me, so where you might describe yourself as ugly I really wouldn’t notice your looks unless something else made me. I also very rarely notice very attractive people unless something else makes them stand out (usually the way they treat the staff/ each other/ etc).
I really do think peoples personalities shine through much more than you think.

My favourite people are interesting and witty, looks don’t even come into it. Listen to the Raggydolls theme tune - it’s really sweet and sends such a positive message.

Thank you. I will try to accept myself more and just be me, for good or bad.

I'm very concerned about the number of people on this thread who describe themselves as ugly
'Not beautiful' I could understand, but ugly?
Most of us look more or less the same, with some people being marginally more symmetrical than others.

Beauty is not so much in the eye of the beholder as in the mind of us all.

I see people who I dont consider particularly attractive, who exude so much confidence that most people see them as attractive anyway

And I know some people who are legitimately beautiful who convince themselves they are ugly and behave accordingly

It's a word others have used to describe me, so it's an actual thing.

The threshold of how much of a dick you have to be to be disliked is far higher than the threshold for a less physically attractive person.

I've known gorgeous girls who were unpleasant, lazy, even stole and lied (in workplace) men still fawned over them.

No one...no one...earns their face.

I've met beautiful horrible people and lovely 'ugly' people. Once you know someone and their character, their face becomes irrelevant.

Yes I’ve been described as ugly lots of times but people who are close to me as well as others who aren’t.

by people who are close to me

When you love someone's character you don't notice if they put on weight, wear crap clothes or haven't washed their hair...I don't anyway!

Anyone calls you ugly stop spending time with them they are not nice and damaging to your self esteem
Try not to be too people pleasing and nice make sure you have boundaries so that you are respected

They are just being truthful I guess!

@jennymanara
And my partner thinks I am beautiful so that is all that matters - I really am not.

You are to them - why is your opinion more valid than theirs???!

Woah... sounds to me like the real 'ugly' people are the ones who said nasty things about your looks :(

I would encourage you to focus on your skills, abilities, and interests to build your confidence. And stick around with people who do the same. Life will be much more fulfilling that way rather than worrying about the opinions of shallow, nasty people with nothing better to do than pick on others!!

Your looks have nothing to do with your worth.

I was pondering this the other day. I have a colleague who I’ve always considered pretty. She’s a totally happy, lovely and kind person. I was bored out of my mind in a meeting the other day and found myself accidentally analysing her face and I realised that there was nothing about it alone that was attractive in itself. In fact - she is quite odd looking...but I honestly never noticed because she really does have this lovely beam to her face that makes her beautiful...and I feel horrid for thinking of her as anything other than that.

Also, I’m an ugly person too. I hate it. I’m slightly socially inept too so... y’know...not got much going for me in life but I get by and a very happy with my lot.

Also wanted to add, due to dramatic weight fluctuations and a lot of 'creative' hairstyle choices I've had times in my life were I looked very conventionally attractive, and times where I looked very conventionally unattractive.

I did notice a different response to me, socially. More 'hipster' types clammoring to be my friend etc. More invites to parties.

Reflecting on this difference has made me realise those people were quite shallow. If my looks had never changed, I may never have realised that.

In the end I'd rather look the way I do now than look 'good' again in order to win the approval of people who judge people by looks... I'd rather have real friends.

You could just as easily ask does being physically symmetrical make up for being stupid/horrid/unfunny etc.

There are lots of different ways people can be attractive, they can be symmetrical, they can be physically fit, they can be intelligent, they can be funny, they can be kind, they can be rich, they can be hard working, they can be generous, they can be creative, they can be supportive. No-one is 10 out of 10 in all these things. Some of us don't care about some of them when chosing romantic partners but place more importance in others.

You might be 'ugly' (and I bet you aren't, real 'ugly' people realise there are other important characteristics long before they reach adulthood) but you must know there are some qualities you are much higher than average in. Concentrate on those and don't worry about looks that fade.