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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What’s the deal with not liking a drink?

92 replies

Shootingstar1115 · 29/06/2019 14:19

Hi all. I’m a 27 year old Mother of two who hadn’t had a drink in a few years. A variety of reasons why, not liking the taste, not liking the effect, not liking hangovers and also some of my relatives have or have had massive drink problems. I seen a lot of shit in my childhood caused by alcohol and it put me off. I also live in the middle of nowhere and taxis are expensive. I don’t have a problem with others drinking in moderation of course.

Every time I mention that I don’t drink. People seem shocked like I’m such an outsider. Oh go on have a drink you will be the odd one out. But it really doesn’t bother me that I don’t drink nor will I give in to peer pressure.

On a hen do recently and they are all shocked I won’t be drinking on the wedding day. I have to drive home anyway so I couldn’t if I wanted to.

Does anyone else feel that you are kinda left out because you don’t drink??

OP posts:

mycatisblack · 29/06/2019 15:07

@gwenhyfer your last sentence proves that you don't respect the non-drinkers. Why do that?

AllFourOfThem · 29/06/2019 15:10

Hardly any of my social group really drinks so it’s considered quite normal.

Mynotsoperfectlittlefamily · 29/06/2019 15:16

Several of my old social circle still cannot understand that I don't drink alcohol. I would rather be with my children than go out every weekend. People I have met since stopping have assumed I'm an alcoholic because I don't drink. I'm not it was just expensive and made me feel like shit so I stopped and started to feel better and had more money I would never go back to drinking now as I see no point for me. But I don't judge those that do drink. Only those that drink and drive

LilQueenie · 29/06/2019 15:19

I don't drink either op. Real friends don't care. The one who seem shocked are often the ones who drink a lot. I often thing they are threatened by the fact we can know our own mind to say no and be different. Too many adults go along with others just to fit in.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 29/06/2019 15:27

Why are you announcing you don't drink? I think by you making it a thing you have made it a thing.

When someone offers me a drink and I don't fancy alcohol, I ask for whatever I want. If they should happen to question me, I'll either say (truthfully) that I prefer xyz, or (also truthfully) that I'm driving. I often ask for water as well if I am thirsty.

I can't think of any time I've been subsequently pressured or made to feel bad for not drinking?

LauderSyme · 29/06/2019 15:34

YANBU. I used to drink far too much and it was only after I stopped completely that I realised how much social life in the UK revolves around alcohol. I think it is very much a cultural thing.

EleanorOalike · 29/06/2019 16:16

I don’t feel left out but I get pissed off with being treated like an oddity or a secret alcoholic. I don’t make a spectacle out of not drinking, I’m very quiet about it and I can let my hair down without it but other people certainly like to make a big deal about it. I don’t understand why many people have a problem with non drinkers. I don’t judge anyone for drinking (unless they are driving or looking after dependents) but a lot of drinkers have certainly judged and isolated me over the years. It’s pathetic.

jennymanara · 29/06/2019 16:18

You can still go to pubs and not drink alcohol.

Yabbers · 29/06/2019 16:20

The problem as you get older, people assume if you are a non drinker, you are a recovering alcoholic.

I discovered my colleagues had all gossiped about the reasons I didn’t drink and that had been their conclusion. It was only when I pointed out how I was equally as fussy about what I ate so wouldn’t it be likely that I just didn’t like the taste of alcohol. They were rather embarrassed.

NeverSayFreelance · 29/06/2019 16:32

I'm a Scot who doesn't drink and it's true, people find it really odd. But it's a personal thing. When you watch someone drink themselves into their grave, it sort of puts you off the stuff.

That said I am on antidepressants so drinking is also a big no no haha

4legsandawaggytail · 29/06/2019 16:45

I don't drink and I don't care what anyone thinks. I just say I can't handle alcohol so I don't bother. No big deal.

CornerofUpandDown · 29/06/2019 16:51

I rarely drink (can count the number of drinks I have each year on one hand). I don't feel left out, but find it annoying the intensity of questioning I get. It's like drinkers can't imagine any one has a reason for not drinking.

xELENx · 29/06/2019 16:56

I'm 34 and don't drink either. Used to drink in moderation from about 17 - 19 but never enjoyed it. Don't like the taste, the feeling of being drunk or the hangovers. It also makes me sick within hours.

It really annoys me that friends and family will still say, 'just have a drink' on nights out and at Christmas, etc. Would you offer a non-smoker a cigarette? No!

I have no problem with other people drinking (although I can't stand being around folk when they are drunk).

When the GP asks, 'how many units of alcohol, on average, do you consume per week? And I say, 'None' they always look at me like they don't believe me lol.

Ellabella989 · 29/06/2019 16:56

I don’t drink either other than the very occasional gin once in a blue moon. I don’t like the taste of alcohol and I hate feeling hungover (I’m a lightweight so it goes straight to my head). Luckily my partner hardly ever drinks either but I do find it so wearisome having to explain to other people why I’m having a soft drink on nights out. They look at me like I’m a total weirdo

CalamityJune · 29/06/2019 17:05

Some people who don't drink on nights out are good fun and fit right in, but others can be a bit po-faced and can be a bit of a mood killer.

I have a friend who does drink but doesn't really enjoy nights out so always opts to be the designated driver and will clock watch and check her phone constantly, making others feel like they need to leave earlier than they otherwise would.

I can appreciate that people, especially who don't know you well enough might worry that by not drinking, you may be coming just to show face and be an atmosphere hoover.

Anarchyshake · 29/06/2019 17:10

I've often gone tee total of bear enough tee total over the years.

I've tended to distance myself from people who make a fuss about it because I don't need people like that in my life.

Anarchyshake · 29/06/2019 17:11

*or near enough

MadCattery · 29/06/2019 17:13

DH and I don't drink and it usually isn't an issue. DS married into a family of social drinkers. They don't have issues with overdoing it, they just like wine or beer when out, or drinks at a dinner. Apparently, they thought we were judging them, but honestly, we don't. Once we got past that, we enjoy seeing each other. That's really the only issue we've encountered with us non-drinking.

AnthonyCrowley · 29/06/2019 17:14

I don't drink. Most of my friends are used to me not drinking. Someone got quite angry with me recently for not drinking. Was properly shouting at me about "why aren't you drinking". Me not liking alcohol wasn't a good enough reason apparantly.

MrsMozartMkII · 29/06/2019 17:17

No. Don't like it and I don't want to force myself to try and like it.

Only one person has been an arse that I remember, then again I was usually bouncy enough that they didn't realise I was stone cold sober.

MitziK · 29/06/2019 17:25

It becomes less of an issue when people start growing up.

In my 20s, a GP would give me a funny look if I said 'None' when they asked how many units of alcohol I consume. Now I'm in my 40s (and changed from an inner city practice to one in a leafy suburb), they ask once a year and when I say 'None' or 'I had two G&Ts in March and a coffee with Cointreau in a restaurant last month', they don't question it.

I normally treat myself in pubs to the vastly overpriced Rose Lemonade or fizzy Elderflower. Nobody questions what's in my glass and if they did ask, I'd tell them probably with a 'don't particularly like the stuff'. I would distance myself from anybody who took that as a personal slight.

madcatladyforever · 29/06/2019 17:27

I don't drink anymore, it just doesn't agree with me and I don't like it.
I'm older so people just assume I don't drink for medical reasons but it must be much harder when you are younger.

isittheholidaysyet · 29/06/2019 17:31

I've not really noticed that.

But then my friends were the kind who would not drink, but be so bouncy and excitable that their exuberant dancing would get them thrown out of clubs for being drunk.

Or my Dsis who goes hyper when she has had e-number additives. Give her a couple of glasses of cola and she is ready for a big night out!

I think there is a bigger problem with not accepting the "I'm not drinking tonight" or the "I've had enough now"

Ponoka7 · 29/06/2019 17:38

I never drank until i was in my 30's, except for a Baileys at Christmas.

I find the 'don't like the taste' statement strange. It's more than you don't want to, so haven't tried alcoholic drinks to a pount you'd find what you like.

You can't take the taste of various wines and say that they're anything like beer. Or that gin is like peach snaps etc.

It's like saying all carbs, or fruit, taste the same.

I mix with people not from the UK and they don't traditionally drink alcohol at their celebrations. So, although i know i can enjoy myself without alcohol, i choose not to, when i can.

It's only the po-faced non drinkers that i'd comnent on. Likewise those that judge food choices when out. I don't want to eat a special meal without a drink.

Gwenhwyfar · 01/07/2019 22:07

"@gwenhyfer your last sentence proves that you don't respect the non-drinkers. Why do that?"

Why do what? Why go to a drinks party and complain that someone tried to get you to have a drink? Good question.

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