How do you deal with not being invited to things?

[liko]

For example it's your (close) friend's little boy's second birthday. They're having a massive party in their garden for him. All their friends invited. Apart from me. Very weird. We speak all the time. I have a child the same age.

Would you even bother saying anything and seeming needy and upset? Or just act like you don't care?

The only rational explanations I can think of is they have a massive family and/or loads of CF tag alongs

She's obviously not as close a friend as you think you are. I've been in your friends position recently, someone took the hump that they weren't invited to a party. But we had limited room so just couldn't invite everyone we knew, you have to stop the invites somewhere if it's in your own house, there's only so many you can cater for comfortably.

Hmm, are you single? I know of a few women who have partners who only socialise with single women during the day on weekdays, and weekends are kept for 'couple' friends. Whether it's because you make numbers awkward, or because you're 'unsafe' to be around their husbands/partners.

If this is the case, dump her as a friend. Don't tolerate being segregated like that.

Asking where your invite is would be so unbelievably embarrassing both for you and her. Please don't do this

My best friend didn't invite me to her child's first birthday because I didn't have children and she thought it would be awkward(!). Nevermind that I loved that kid to bits.

Do you know the mass of other people at the party? Maybe she thinks it would be awkward to have you there not knowing anyone. People can have strange logic.

I just said wish him a happy birthday from me and my child/DH

Op isn’t single HypatiaCade

Are the rest of them family?

I'd act like I don't care and go and do something nice with my son. Same sort of thing happened to me recently and I'm pretty certain its because I'm single, so as PP said interested to hear your status and if you'd have been going alone with child?

Some people like to mix in the 'same' type of circles.

I'd ask. It's very odd.

I think I'd take a step back from the friendship tbh. She obviously doesn't think you're as close as you think she is.

Or she dislikes your dude.

I would passive aggressively like the Instagram post(s) and comment "looks so fun! Would have loved to join you!" or similar, but I am not the maturest person. You should probably just rise above it.

Sounds like a family party to me

Are you in their social circle? Do you have loads of mutual friends?

I suspect she’s invited loads of people who all know each other?

I had similar happen, it was the beginning of the end of the friendship as I realised my friend wasn't really my friend.

Things rumbled along for a few more years before I realised I was the only one putting any effort in. I stopped getting in touch and haven't heard since.

Wish I'd realised earlier really but it's hard to admit a friend isn't really a friend.

It's not the lack of an invitation that's off here, but mentioning it to the OP. It does make it sound like a snub rather than for genuine reasons like it being just for family.

sounds like a family party to me in what way?

I would be hurt and probably cool the friendship.

Are the rest of the people there in your group? Perhaps she’s invited e.g NCT friends and their partners. I have different groups of friend and I never cross the streams (except for things like 40ths or massive parties)

May be just family. I e had parties for DCs where I’ve just invited family - nieces nephews, sisters grans etc.

She's not a close friend OP. I think maybe you have misread the friendship.

I was going to write what@BeenThereDone said

In reality I probably wouldn't say anything but I would really want to. Sorry you're hurt OP.