Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to want to be refered to as "Guys" when it is clear I am female

72 replies

ivykaty44 · 26/07/2007 18:53

Went to John Lewis today and had a coffee, the assistant came up and asked what can I get you guys? Why? I am not a man and don't want to be refered to as a man.

Guys and Dolls was the hit show refering to male and female so if anything Doll would be better at least it donates I am female.

Is it just me that finds it rude?

OP posts:
puppydavies · 26/07/2007 19:11

yabu. guys is a great general purpose gender neutral term imo. ditto at 'ladies', 'girls'? patronising.

i get the impression reaction to 'love' is regional, is used loads around here and i certainly don't have a problem with it, even with my feminist hat on.

MadEyemarthamooDy · 26/07/2007 19:11

At what point do you become a lady?

I remember being in a shop, aged about 17, and a child bumped into me and her Mum said "oh, mind the lady" then looked at me properly and said "oh, I'm sorry - you're not a lady!" But I knew what she meant

Children call me "lady" now and, sadly, I am old enough for it to fit.

Idreamofdaleks · 26/07/2007 19:13

I find it cringe-worthy when senior managers use this term at work

Tinker · 26/07/2007 19:13

I hate lady as well but find myself saying it as "Mind that woman" sounds a bit too blunt

CalifrauniusFudge · 26/07/2007 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ivykaty44 · 26/07/2007 19:15

Why so shoked it happened in John lewis?

OP posts:
Leati · 26/07/2007 19:15

Well at least now I know why someone got pissed at me for using the term "ladies".
Too Funny.

Tinker · 26/07/2007 19:16

I expect some standards at JL.

FLIER · 26/07/2007 19:17

YABU. Sort of. He shouldn't have been so casual. Customer service skills are at an all time low in uk stores these days, IMO.

unknownrebelbang · 26/07/2007 19:18

Some folk seem to take offence very easily.

MadEyemarthamooDy · 26/07/2007 19:19

I expect to be called "modom" in John Lewis.

Original poster
ivykaty44 · 26/07/2007 19:24

They usually call you by name in JL and to be fair to JL they do give excellent customer service.

I did smle at the assistant and say thank you, just wonered if it's normall so thought I would ask on here.

Seems it is now the norm to be called guy - so when in Rome and all that

OP posts:
amidaiwish · 26/07/2007 19:47

my 3 year old DD1 often says
"Hey guys.." to me and DD2
does seem a bit odd i have to say!

Walnutshell · 26/07/2007 19:51

It comes from the usual yawn - ie, it's OK to be referred to in male terms because being a bloke is good, being a woman is less so blah blah.

But there are too many bigger battles to worry about.

agnesnitt · 26/07/2007 20:06

I don't mind being referred to as one of the 'guys' and have used the term myself. What I would object to is it being used in the manner the original poster encountered. It's shoddy service unless you know the person who is serving you well.

Agnes

StrwBry · 26/07/2007 21:00

I say guys when talking to my dd and her friends.....ie "what do you want to drink guys"....not all the time though...just when I'm feeling in an American mood ROFL!

choosyfloosy · 26/07/2007 21:04

erm... Leati... surely the post-Feminine Mystique women's movement that tackled issues of language originated in America?

plenty of places in Britain where 'ladies' is regarded as fine

still shudder at v recent episode of Bargain Hunt where Mr Orange Thingy said 'Girls - may I call you Girls' to a female team, and they said ooh YES PLEASE

all ladies to the barricades please

choosyfloosy · 26/07/2007 21:05

sorry that was an unusually confused message

i dislike ladies very much, and quite like Guys, except as used by managers to be one of the ladz

Leati · 26/07/2007 21:09

choosyfloosy
You lost me?

BarbieLovesKen · 26/07/2007 21:10

YABU

mummymagic · 26/07/2007 21:14

Don't like it. Sounds a bit trying to hard to be 'with-it', especially as I realised a few years ago when I watched back a video of me teaching that I said 'guys' far too often. And sounded ridiculous.

Have avoided the word ever since.

FWIW I also agree with the feminist ishoos too (we wouldn't refer to a mixed group as 'ladies', would we? )

southeastastra · 26/07/2007 21:15

i like it

margoandjerry · 26/07/2007 21:18

mummymagic, I agree with you. I find it a bit cringey and can't bring myself to say it but then I am turning into my namesake. I also can't call someone a "bloke" and I have found myself referring to "chaps".

I either need to establish my own country, set in the year 1928 and live there with the Mitfords and maybe the ghost of Jane Austen, or get with the programme, sharpish.

Desiderata · 26/07/2007 21:23

I've never liked 'guys' either. It's just a bit ... Cliff Richard.

I find myself saying it occasionally, but I tend to favour chaps.

Chocks away, old chaps, or old fellas, or old beans, even.

Nightynight · 26/07/2007 22:05

doesnt bother me. I find it irritating when colleagues say "Now guys....and er...(spotting the sole female in the corner) Laydeeees.."