I'm at risk. How do I block my door?

[iutcoloit]

Police are involved with a situation between me and my ex. I'm concerned that he's going to kick my door in out of anger.

What's the steps to take here? How to block it? What if he could get in before the police got here?

Wouldn’t it be better for you to stay elsewhere for a couple of days?

Chest of drawers/sideboard or fit some cheap bolts

Have a plan, walk through it several times until it is second nature.

Keep your mobile charged up.
Block the door but don't assume he'll use the front door.
If anything happens, run straight upstairs with your phone and dial 999.
Block yourself in another room.
Have something handy to defend yourself as a last resort. Wrap a towel around your arm or wear a leather jacket if you think he'll use a knife.

I'd agree with staying somewhere else if it's possible. That would be your safest option.

Contact your local domestic abuse organisation and a worker will be able to do some safety planning with you. They may also be able to send someone out to put security locks on your doors and window. Please contact them as a priority.

if you truly feel you are in danger call your local council and tell them you are fleeing domestic violence. They should offer you temporary accommodation.

There should be an out of hours service at night and over the weekend.

Op large bolts from a diy store and very long deep screws, at least 3 bolts top, bottom, middle, and a wedge against the bottom. Back door too. keep downstairs windows locked.
Cameras front and back use from your phone, to check its safe before coming home/going out.
Voice recording of several mens voices, ready to play

Have spare wedges inside each door, practice using them fast

Agree that staying somewhere else sounds like the best plan. But if that's not possible wedge a door stopper in the door and it will be near on impossible to break it open. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.

Thanks everyone.
Not really an option to leave and go elsewhere, have nowhere to go and definitely don't feel extreme enough to be lugging DS around to refuges or anything, I couldn't do that to him.
And - even if I did - I'd still be in the same fear when I came back and I can't leave for good.

Also get an air horn, one of the super loud ones. It will disoriente him and your neighbours will come over to complain if nothing else.

Ive been in your position, it's so scary. I spent all night on the phone to the samaritans and called woman's aid the next day. Look after yourself

Any mates who could come and stay?

BnQ to fit Yale dead locks?

Easy to fit, and in the event of an emergency easy to get out

Push something heavy up against the door/s having wedged a door stop under it first? Not sure if that’ll do it

Would you feel comfortable telling your neighbours the situation? They may be of use if they are aware and can call the police at the first sign of any disturbance, and they might be quicker than you to the phone

Most modern doors also have 5 point locks to not easy to just kick in also OP

Womens aid are great for this. They sent someone to me to change the locks the same day I called. They can also provide security locks and a window security thing.

Call the police and ask for a marker against your address and phone number. So even if you ring and don't speak they know to send someone as an emergency.

In the longer term can you get a mo molestation order, that makes it an arrest able offence to even approach your property. You don't have to wait for him to do something, you can call the police right away.

Agree with door stop and bolts.

I hang lots of pans from the door whenever DH is away, and put all the champagne flutes by the front and back doors, window sills. If someone comes in they’ll make a racket and potentially cut thwmselves (leaving plenty of DNA evidence for the police)

I'd look at something better than just a lock because someone kicking the door in will just break them. Something that goes across the whole door. I'd ask the police for some advice or a locksmith

Do not, seriously, do NOT barricade yourself in anywhere.
Let me put a situation to you. What if there's a fire?

Yes, it's scary. But think like someone who wants to do you harm. If he can't get through the door the usual ways, if he's desperate/bad/angry enough to try and kick in a door to get at you, would he stop at putting lighted rags through your letterbox, or smashing a window to come in?

Ask the police to put a SIG warning on your address, and make sure you have an exit plan. If he gets in, how do you get out as quickly and safely as possible?
And STAY SAFE.

Wedges under the doors and also something like a chair wedged under the handle so it can't be moved (if it's a lever style that is)

You say the police are involved but are they aware that you are at risk and that he could turn up at yours and kick the door down?
If not, phone and let them know the situation. That way you will be flagged on their system in some way so you get a quick response

I'd second speaking to women's aid for some proper advice. Please be cautious of barricading yourself in with furniture etc which might hinder your exit if there is a fire (or prevent the emergency services from getting in).

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, it's terrifying

I had a stalker who threatened to kill me and all sorts. The police were involved and sorted out a DoorJammer (Von Saint brand), a rape alarm and a mobile phone rigged up purely to get through to them. They also fitted an extra Yale lock to my front door and mounted a camera on a streetlamp focused on my property's entrance. If you haven't involved the Police you can buy the jammer and alarm on Amazon and get them delivered tomorrow.

Start your own thread EmmaLouise