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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be horrified the NHS classes 5yo DD as overweight?

655 replies

mommathatwearspink · 28/06/2019 16:32

DD (5) had her school night and weight check at school earlier in the week. Received a letter today saying that she is on the 94th percentile and classes as overweight for her age and height.

Im horrified! She doesn’t look overweight, does gymnastics and swimming each week, doesn’t over eat, treats are limited and I cook healthy meals from scratch most days. What the hell am I doing wrong???

OP posts:
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9
WreckTangled · 30/06/2019 08:37

Jilly the child shouldn't know about the letter anyway they are address to the parent/guardian. Anyone who tells their 5yo dc is just cruel.

Cornishgorl44 · 30/06/2019 08:40

I refused to let my daughter be weighed and measured in year 6 for this very reason. It’s a pile of toss. She is very healthy exercises and eats carefully. She is a size 10/12 nothing wrong with her

Frankie20018 · 30/06/2019 08:42

They said my eldest was overweight in year 7. She clearly wasnt. She is now 16 and a size 8. Absolutely nothing wrong with her weight. She is also very body conscious, as unfortunately a lot of girls her age are. It could have been very damaging for her if she had seen that letter and I hadn't put it straight in the bin.

pinkstripeycat · 30/06/2019 08:43

The poster who said their child is 5 stone is a lot for a 5 year old. My DS weighed 5 stone aged 10.

WreckTangled · 30/06/2019 08:43

A size 10/12 at age 10/11 is very likely to be overweight! I would be overweight at a size 12 and I'm 31.

orangeshoebox · 30/06/2019 08:48

out of interest we measured dc yesterday.
one is at the very bottom end, bordering on underweight the other bang on in the middle.
tbh my middle range child doesn't look skinny at all, especially compared to taller one.
both cycle to school (2 miles), both do a sport for 2x2 hours a week (redfaced and out of breath kind of active) and do not snack. they have 4 meals a day though (breakfast, lunch, afterschool, dinner).

Dotty1970 · 30/06/2019 08:52

Seriously, don't get her weighed again, I had this with my daughter saying she was obese, she clearly had no fat on her at all! I was fuming they couldn't just look at her and judge!

CaptainMyCaptain · 30/06/2019 08:54

A size 10/12 at age 10/11 is very likely to be overweight! I would be overweight at a size 12 and I'm 31.
Quite. I am in my 60s and a 12/10 (and everyone over 50 is overweight donchaknow),

NerrSnerr · 30/06/2019 08:59

Seriously, don't get her weighed again,

So bury your head in the sand and pretend that the facts are wrong?

I also think a year six wearing a size 10-12 is likely to be overweight unless they are already knocking on 6 foot.

openupmyeagereyes · 30/06/2019 09:03

A size 10/12 at age 10/11 is very likely to be overweight! I would be overweight at a size 12 and I'm 31.

I agree with this. I am a size 10, occasionally a 12 now - I’m 1 stone heavier than I was pre-pregnancy 6 years ago. I’m technically classed as a healthy weight, healthy BMI but I am definitely overweight (having added a stone of extra fat) and would like to lose at least half a stone. I’m 5.5. None of the normal sized year 6 girls in my ds’ school would be a size 10/12 like me especially with vanity sizing. Even the girls that are tall for their age are very slim.

Georgeofthejungle · 30/06/2019 09:05

My son is 3 stone and 3 years old but he is also tall and broad and wearing age 5-6 clothes. I think if proportionately your DD is fine then not to worry.

There are definitely slimmer kids than my son but he is a strong, healthy little boy and as long as I do the best for him he’ll come out fine I think.

HobbyIsCodeForDogging · 30/06/2019 09:22

@Mumoftwoyoungkids that's brilliant. I think what you've done is exactly what the aim is of this weight screening and sending letters out. You've been able to change your child's life for the better without her feeling any inconvenience. If only those other parents had been receptive, they could've saved their children from growing up fat.

I despair at all these people still in denial. A Y6/7 girl wearing adult size 10-12 is probably overweight.

And all these people saying their heavy child doesn't have a problem because they're tall - they obviously haven't absorbed that children grow tall quickly when overfed.

User8888888 · 30/06/2019 09:31

Everyone who pretends bmi is so flawed that it’s mis flagging obesity is kidding themselves. Unless you’re an athlete, the level of muscle isn’t going to take a child into the obese category if there wasn’t a potential issue. The same for adults really. The range is quite big. I suit the mid to top end of the healthy range and am still probably ok at 26 but anymore than that I do look fat. I’m too heavy at the moment and need to lose my baby weight. I’m probably hitting an obese bmi but I just about fit into some of my size 12 clothing (by no means all though). It’s easy to cherry pick clothing to kid yourself you are an x size. Doesn’t mean anything.

My parents are the type that would have thrown the letter on the bin. I was a chubby adoleescent and they let me get that way. It wasn’t until I moved out that I sorted it but they did me no favours and should have stopped feeding me shit. I was fine at 4 though. I hate to think what issues the obese 4 year olds will have when they’re older.

ToftyAC · 30/06/2019 09:36

Had the same with our son. Nearly 5, stick thin, can still fit in his 2-3 year old shorts on the waist and he’s very tall for his age (4-5 too short for trousers, but the waist is too big). Said he was overweight. Wtf?

IcingandSlicing · 30/06/2019 09:41

@Mumoftwoyoungkids What you did was perfect! Well done! Flowers
It's so much easier to change perception of food and activity levels when the children are young and it really doesn't have to be a big fuss about it, just small tweaks in everyday life.

BunsyGirl · 30/06/2019 09:43

*JinglingHellsBells

So glad that my kids go to a private school and we don’t get these ridiculous letters.*

“What a ridiculous comment.”

Not in the least ridiculous. The letters are a snapshot taken on one particular day. My youngest DS grows outwards before he grows upwards. From time to time that means he is classed as overweight. A few weeks later, he is just fine. I have family in other countries where children being checked over by paediatricians on a regular occurrence is the norm. That’s what our children deserve, not a random letter based on a mathematical formula.

CecilyP · 30/06/2019 09:43

*I was fuming they couldn't just look at her and judge!^

Oh yes, that would go down well. A letter saying, “I took a look at your son/daughter and the are obviously overweight!’ With BMI at least they have some figures to back up the claim.

Ariadnewin · 30/06/2019 09:44

too heavy at the moment and need to lose my baby weight. I’m probably hitting an obese bmi but I just about fit into some of my size 12 clothing (by no means all though

This really highlights how body shapes and clothing sizes can differ. I fit into size 12 clothes nicely and my BMI is 20.

Irishbookworm · 30/06/2019 09:49

That link giving average weights is totally unrealistic. I have 4 kids, all healthy weights, my 10 year old is the weight of an average 12 year old apparently but has a healthy BMI according to the NHS.

Cockadoodledooo · 30/06/2019 09:50

We had the opposite problem with both of our dc - tall and underweight. With ds1 we dutifully took him to the HV to discuss what should be done (along with a photo of dh at the same age which showed exactly where he got his build from!) and she said as long as he was eating well (he was) it wasn't something she was really bothered about, she'd rather be seeing the kids that were the other way round, but knew she wouldn't be.

Fast forward 10 years, he's a relatively sedentary teen who eats us out of house and home, but is now an average build.

When we got the same letter for ds2 we just ignored it.

Thisnamechanger · 30/06/2019 09:50

Out of her class, only 2 girls and 1 boy is a normal weight, the rest have rolls of fat, breasts and uniforms bursting at the seams

That's mad. When I was at primary school (20 yrs ago) there was only one fat boy in the whole school!!

Eaudear · 30/06/2019 09:52

I googled '5 year old overweight' to see what an overweight 5 year old might look like, but it was all just Daily Mail sad face stories of parents who have received this letter about their kids!

megletthesecond · 30/06/2019 09:55

Clothes sizes are meaningless these days thanks to vanity sizing. BMI is the only accurate guide we have.

werideatdawn · 30/06/2019 09:56

It's not even hard to fix when they're little!! DS1 got the overweight letter in reception, I was mortified for a bit then got him playing out more and eating less food. That was in June and by September he was back to the healthy weight area. A year on and he has maintained that.
There is no shame in acknowledging you've dropped the ball and need to reign things back in. There is shame in ignoring the warnings and thinking you know best. Sadly the only person that suffers is the child.

QueenOfAshes · 30/06/2019 10:02

Everyone who pretends bmi is so flawed that it’s mis flagging obesity is kidding themselves.
Not only is BMI when used alone a bad tool for people who may be overweight, it also completely misses those kids who fall in average on the scale, but are actually 'skinny fat'. As long as a child weighs in right, parents will be told their kids are fine.

But in actual fact, your child could come in average, but carry all their weight around their mid, putting them at risk of diabetes, cardiovascular disease and a whole host of other things that would also apply to those who come in at the end of the scale.

BMI was never supposed to be used for individual purposes, but because it's cheap and easy has become the default.