To be horrified the NHS classes 5yo DD as overweight?

[mommathatwearspink]

DD (5) had her school night and weight check at school earlier in the week. Received a letter today saying that she is on the 94th percentile and classes as overweight for her age and height.

Im horrified! She doesn’t look overweight, does gymnastics and swimming each week, doesn’t over eat, treats are limited and I cook healthy meals from scratch most days. What the hell am I doing wrong???

Yep my 6’1” DH is 12 stone too. He does triathlons and is basically pure muscle.

My nephew was always his age in stones. He was “big built” “stocky” “had a healthy appetite”. Bollocks. He was a really fat little kid who was fed absolutely limitless crap by people who were too lazy to bother. He’s 18 now and probably over 20 stone. It’s pretty heartbreaking. My mother said she doesn’t know where it’s come from because he wasn’t a chubby kid.

I had that letter. They hadn't measured DS's height properly. 6cm makes a huge difference in terms of BMI!

My toddler is 91 percentile and 54th for height and all I get are my hv’s going on and on about how he eats too little you really cannot win, can you?

All these posts saying 'Ignore it because my chubby Reception child grew up to be a pencil', are really not helpful to the OP.

OP, when your child is naked use your eyes and your honesty. Research how many children are overweight in Reception and the rise in overweight children leaving year 6.

It doesn't matter if other kids had a miracle growth spurt. Many parents rely on that happening and then discover that it never did.

By that time, they have an overweight child starting senior school and little to no control over what (and how much) they choose to eat outside of the home.

My kids are young adults/teen now and almost ever one of their overweight friends were overweight in primary school but their parents just couldn't or didn't want to see it.

@OneForTheRoadThen

Has toffee penny come back yet to explain how her 4 year old weighs 5 stone?

Why on earth should she explain to Mumsnet? Christ.

Um because this is a thread about childhood obesity, she advised throwing out the letter and claimed her own child wasn't obese and then said he/she was 5 stone which is ludicrous, dozens of posters have asked if she typed correctly....so um yeah, I was awaiting her response in this discussion, obviously. Christ.

That's a bit disingenuous @avalanching.

@OneForTheRoadThen which part? I want to know if her child is actually 5 stone at 4 years old and if so if she really thinks that isn't obese, or maybe they are freakishly tall...nothing disingenuous about my questioning, I think it requires further comment! The fact they haven't come back says it all.

Is the 5yo who weighs 5st, 6ft tall???

@Crunchymum well I don't know because the pp who posted that hasn't come back to explain and apparently I'm being unreasonable thinking she should 🤷‍♀️

I honestly don't know why people allow their children to be weighed at school. I've always opted out. DD looks slim, she's fine, she doesn't need to be weighed and measured.

I was weighed at school, I was slightly heavy (9 stone age 14) and made fun of by my classmates. I soon developed an eating disorder.

OP, just continue to provide a healthy diet and ignore their silly letters. We can't all be skinny.

I would say look at a class photo.
How does she compare to others in class.
I’ve heard a lot of comments about the letter. And if I’m honest most of the time I have not been surprised they have had the letter.
Some probably are just sturdy - others it’s a bit more than that.

It’s probably easier for other people to see it easier than a mum.

I thought toffee was joking. Maybe I’m working bit since her DS is more than 2 st heavier than my dS who is a similar age - my sturdy but very average DS - I would say she was being facetious

My friend was defensive about this when she got told both her children were overweight by the school, and everyone else reassured her they were fine. I hadn't seen them for a while at that point, but in the photos I've seen since they are definitely overweight (as are her and her partner). And since she doesn't accept it, it's not going to get any better.

As others have said, people have forgotten what healthy children are supposed to look like. They're meant to be fairly skinny once they lose the baby/toddler fat. And fat children tend to turn into fat adults, who tend to not be terribly healthy. We should be able to acknowledge and address that fact as a society without people shutting it down by crying "fat shaming".

I honestly don't know why people allow their children to be weighed at school. I've always opted out. DD looks slim, she's fine, she doesn't need to be weighed and measured.

If she really is slim and fine then why on earth wouldn't you allow her to be weighed and measured?

There is an obesity epidemic in this country and the government needs to know approximately how many overweight children there are, in order to tackle the problem and look at how much it's going to cost.

Why on earth wouldn't you want to help with that?

If you enter the stats, a 6ft tall 13 stone 13 year old is in the 96th percentile and overweight. I only entered it because I was curious.

Talking about weight is a very difficult issue but childhood obesity is rising. My son started to gain weight and I noticed it but didn’t properly see it, if that makes sense? I saw him every day and became accustomed to his size. I made excuses. One day, I decided it was unfair and I was thinking about my own feelings too much. I felt I had failed as a parent and to admit he was overweight meant failure on my part. I was also very anxious about eating disorders. However, I got some sensible advice and we addressed it as a family. He’s maintained a healthy weight for some years now.

I felt I had failed as a parent and to admit he was overweight meant failure on my part.

I think that's how a lot of parents see it to be honest. No-one wants to feel as though they've 'failed'. It takes a brave parent to face facts and to step in and do something about it.

Also lots of parents are afraid of their kids getting eating disorders if they need to lose weight, but that's all the more reason not to let them get overweight in the first place.

5 year old don't need to know they need to lose weight. The parents should be quite capable of tweaking their diet, portion sizes and upping exercise without the child having a clue.

It's nowhere near as easy when they're older and more clued up. Plus by then, they're normally used to overeating and not exercising enough.

It's far harder to change a teenager's routine than a young child's.

Worra - I don't trust that the government cares about whether there are some overweight kids or not. It's just a way of making people feel like crap. Is anybody telling Boris he needs to go on a diet? I doubt it.

DD is 13, tall and slim build. She's never had any body fat at all. She has model proportions. She's not contributing to the 'obesity crisis' .

I worry about protecting the mental health of children from the body fascism that seems to be growing in intensity.

Obesity in later life often starts in young children. What a knob saying to bin the letter! So you don't mind setting your child up for obesity, diabetes, CVD, cancer and a host of other problems?!! What a stupid and uneducated response.

Obesity happens to most people in later life. I hardly know anyone over the age of 50 who is still slim. The only ones I do know eat almost nothing.

A child I know got the same letter. The parents were horrified and said it was outrageous. The child was clearly overweight and they couldn’t see it. And they were medical professionals!

Ask yourself honestly if you are really looking at this letter in the right way. Don’t be defensive, it’s not a judgement, it’s a warning. Only you can decide if you need to heed it.

@mindproject - doesn't that tell you something about our portion sizes then?

My daughter was recently checked and I was chatting with my friend about it before. She felt her son was overweight (he looks it to me too but obviously I'd never comment) and was fully expecting a letter telling her so she worked his BMI out based on the height/weight on the letter sent home immediately following the test and he's at the higher end of normal. All I can say is, if he's a healthy weight, then anyone getting a letter saying their child isn't really needs to take an objective look at the amount of exercise their child does and their portion size.

I got the same letter for 5 up DD and I felt like we have failed her.

I was aware that she was over weight and had already pulled my socks up and cut down on the snacks and had a serious chat with DH , ds and dss. But it was still a shock to see it written down.

I had a very frank conversation with the child health team and explained all the things I was doing /planning to do. For example i'd been using an adult plate! I've bought her a smaller plate and she now has that. I think the problem was portion size amongst other things.

The thing that stuck in my mind is that the lady said to me the children they really need to worry about are the one's who's parents are in denial.
DS is heavy but you can see his ribs. You can't see da's ribs.

Don't ignore the letter because it makes you feel like shit. There isn't a government scheme to try and make parents feel bad - obesity is a health crisis.

Anyway I'm pleased to say DD is already looking slimmer (some of her clothes fit her again) and the aim is to try and get her to grow into her weight .

One woman I used to work with who stayed slim until she was 60 ate about an egg cup full of cereal and a salad for lunch every day. She went the whole day on about 300 calories in order to stay slim. Seriously, who wants to live like that? I've rather enjoy food, be a bit chubby and die a few years earlier.

This thread is a bit arrg for me! 3yo 98centile height and weight and is 3 Stone! HV didn't seem concerned, am assuming if they were they would have to have said??