To be a bit concerned about DS not talking yet?

[Natsku]

He's 17 months next week and he doesn't say a single word, not even mama/dada directed at us but he does babble a lot. He doesn't try to copy words either.

I wouldn't be that worried if it wasn't for the fact that his understanding seems to be behind too, there's only a couple of simple directions that he follows which may be he just follows them because he knows the routine (e.g. going to sit on the stairs to wait for me to put his shoes on when I tell him to as that's what we always do when we go outside) but if I ask him things like "give me the ball" or "pick up your hat" he has no clue, just stares blankly at me or wanders off. He does understand when I say it's time to change your nappy or it's time for a nap though as he always laughs and runs away when I say those.

Relevant info - bilingual home, he did fail a hearing check once but then passed a later one, can point to things but doesn't do it much, normal eye contact etc. and sociable (so no concerns about autism), he pretty much just communicates by screaming or grunting at me until I figure out what he wants. I did try to do baby sign language with him but he doesn't get it, doesn't try signs or seem to understand any.

Natsku my brother was diagnosed with autism very young, and I suspect my mother/sister/myself all had/have it to a noticeable extent too. I hope it's not the case for your family, but you're also in a position to know that it's not a terrible thing either.

In the meantime, try not to worry (if you find out how to do this please share your secret with me)

DD2 didn’t really say anything until she was about 20 months; she is also bilingual and had lots of problems with constant ear infections. I wouldn’t worry just yet, IME once they start talking their vocabulary can increase very quickly.

I have one DD who was saying words at 8 months, very full sentences by nearly 2 and clear to understand

DD2 did not really say any words until age 2, by 3 she was talking a bit more but even by 4 her sentences were not very complete and she would still miss out words and wasn’t very clear. She also had her own language and words for things and couldn’t say many consonants properly. I had her hearing tested multiple times she was failing as she wouldn’t do as asked to put the block in the hole (but they could see she could hear from her body language) so they wrote down ‘selective hearing’ and ? Auditory professing disorder but no referral to SLT.

When she started nursery we worked out that she was struggling as if there were 2 noises - me talking and a TV she couldn’t focus on one or the other they were blurred together. Also DD1 is very loud and dominated a lot of the noise levels.

So I started talking to her in her field of vision, at her level so she could see my mouth and also moving away from other sounds that could confuse her. She’s 15 yo now and still gets confused by noises and/or just doesn’t ‘hear’ things (if you shout from another room she may hear a noise but not always be able to work our it was words/what was said) but is very articulate and we just say she took her time with speaking and learning but got there in the end!

I’m saying don’t worry too much, don’t compare to other children either but speak to your HV again

I

I meant to add I think we talk to DC without actually having their eyes on our faces a lot. I noticed DD1 was a very intent staring at your face kind of demanding baby, who wanted to please you and copy you, and DD2 was more of a happy doing her own thing didn’t need you baby who didn’t really ask for as much interaction. I think this meant that DD2 got way less face to face time with me than DD1 and picked up things a lot slower

Agree that I wouldn't be overly worried about the lack of speaking but the lack of understanding would be more cause for concern I think. Definitely get hearing looked at.

I am a Speech Pathologist and a number of the "helpful" posts are questionable. Based on what you are saying I would take him to a SP for an assessment- he may just have a slight delay that a few strategies and help support his language acquisition.
By 2 my baseline is 50 words and beginning to combine into two word phrases. Lots of modeling words and keeping it simple- eg using 2- 3 words when speaking to him, not 10+. Don't bribe with chocolate as this is not effective. Does he babble frequently? Is he attempting to imitate simple words that you say? Does he turn to mum/dad when you say his name?

My brother couldn't talk till he was 4 ( we are all in our 40s ) , now we cant shut him up.

I was you a few years ago OP and a poster recommended this book www.amazon.co.uk/s?ref=nb_sb_ss_i_5_12&crid=2VYSDZ9I3D7QA&sprefix=It+takes+two%2Caps%2C128&k=it+takes+two+to+talk&tag=mumsnetforu03-21
It seems to be out of print at the moment but I’m sure you could order it from the library.
You are right, you shouldn’t be withholding things to get him to talk. Would you talk to someone who won’t give you what you want and is making you cry?
Use short sentences, instead of “now let’s all put or shoes on” just say “shoes on”. Give choices to encourage interaction and speech, say things in a fun way to get them to join in.

@Jizzle that is absolutely not the case. It is a check for the 2 year review that the toddlers are using 2 words together to make a sentence. Not at 17 months. Providing incorrect information on threads is not helpful.

I got the book below with with mine as she was flagged as a ‘watch’ for her communication at the 1 year check. As it turns out, she didn’t really need watching to be honest- it was just she was an early walker but the book was helpful and written by a speech therapist.

www.amazon.co.uk/Babytalk-Sally-Ward/dp/0099297205/ref=nodl_?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I’ll also call bollocks on the 50 words and sentences being the norm. By the 2 year check, my little girl was doing brilliantly and was well ahead so her language development was really at the top end at that point. At 18 months she had about 50 words but no sentences.

My ds has a vocabulary of over 220 words by the time he was two, and talking in complete sentences. And no I didn’t count the words, it came from the university who’s study he took part in. But he was on the extreme side, people always mistook him for a small 4 year old.

Ds 2, had about 100 words at 2, and his very first word at 14 months was flower lol.
But my two were just advanced with their speech, they didn’t turn out to be geniuses or anything else. However we found friends who had dc after ours would compare them, worrying that theirs were not talking as much. The reality is, there is such a huge amount of time that little ones have to develop and they will do at different rates.

But OP if you have the slightest worry, then get it investigated. I know you say wait until August, but if something is wrong, that’s two months more you could be waiting for referrals etc.

My DS was exactly the same, he babbled but literally no words at 17 months. He's now 27 months and talks in full sentences and his nursery have actually said he's as advanced as some of the three year olds they have.

I really wouldn't be thinking about referrals and stuff until he is at least 2.

Sorry, and yes bilingual children often talk later. They are learning two languages!

Does he babble frequently? Is he attempting to imitate simple words that you say? Does he turn to mum/dad when you say his name?

He babbles a lot, in a conversational tone. Doesn't imitate words - the one book he does like is a book with just pictures of animals and he likes me pointing at the animals and saying what they are but he never tries to copy the words, even if I ask him. He responds to his name about 1 in 10 times that we say it.

I just checked and his 18 month appointment isn't just for the vaccine but for the developmental check with the paediatrician so he can assess him then I'm sure

He responds to his name about 1 in 10 times that we say it
I would be concerned about him not responding to you consistently as well.

I really hope you can get him assessed at his 18 month check.

There is some good advice on this thread in amongst the not so helpful stuff - I agree with talking to him using maximum of 2 words at a time "shoes on", "sit down", "nappy time". Its harder than it sounds! But will really support his understanding.

Also the book recommended "it takes two to talk". I have "more than words" which is another Hanan book, and I found it extremely helful with my little boy with receptive language difficulties.

I shall try the simple talking and hopefully it helps. I think he responds more to his dad's language than English really.

The 18 month check up is supposed to be very indepth as far as I can tell, I don't have an appointment yet so I think I'll call on Monday and see if it can be done a bit earlier but as it's the summer it might not be possible

It is a myth that bilingual children talk later. Studies show no significanct delay and that bilingual children develop within normal timescales, though you need to count overall words (once words begin) rather than words within one language only. Being bilingual should never be a reason not to refer a child to help with their speech development. Nor should parents be told to stop a language and concentrate on one, though many parents are told this erroneously.

Is his dad's language the spoken language in the country where you live? It can be that they make more progress in one which is used more often first.

Yes his dad's language is the local language although he's not at daycare and we don't go to any toddler groups (which is probably another contributing factor) so he's not getting that much extra exposure to it.

I'm with you OP, my ds is almost 17 months and doesn't walk or talk. HV said they don't even refer them until they're 2 (possibly 3)

50 words is bonkers! My ds says mum but he doesn't know what it means, he just says it. I hope he talks soon but I'm more concerned about my physical development

My midd son never babbled but could make one sound until he was nearly (and I mean weeks) three. We were going to start the process of getting him properly assessed when I came from work one day and was greeted by Hello mummy, can I have drink?.

Apparently this is rare but it does happen.

Blimey - he's very young still! Good advice to talk very simply. Remember to explain everything to him as it happens - a running commentary if you like - though you probly already do that.

As the months go by, do remember to listen carefully - when kids do start to talk, I am pretty sure it's before we really 'cop on' - ie they are talking so far as they are concerned, and waiting patiently for us to start to understand!

Oh yes, I would agree with that - I missed DS1's first word (look) for several months because it just sounded like babbling until he suddenly learned to point and I realised he would always say "ook" in conjunction with pointing.

I think you'd be surprised :) Unless you really stay at home a lot he'll be hearing the community language every time you go out, go shopping, go to playgrounds etc. Do you meet up with English speaking people at all? It sounds a bit lonely not to work and not to go to toddler groups, and my English speaking friends have been my lifeline here in Germany, as well as keeping up my kids' English exposure.

Remember to explain everything to him as it happens - a running commentary if you like - though you probly already do that This is bad advice if he has receptive language problems. Too much language = he will just switch off if he doesn't understand.

OP I would get him seen by GP, they can refer to developmental paediatrician. This does sound a bit delayed. By about 14 months they should have about 3-5 words and understand many words and instructions.

Mine both were doing short sentences by about 14months and had lots of words. I would just get him seen by a doctor.