To be a bit concerned about DS not talking yet?

[Natsku]

He's 17 months next week and he doesn't say a single word, not even mama/dada directed at us but he does babble a lot. He doesn't try to copy words either.

I wouldn't be that worried if it wasn't for the fact that his understanding seems to be behind too, there's only a couple of simple directions that he follows which may be he just follows them because he knows the routine (e.g. going to sit on the stairs to wait for me to put his shoes on when I tell him to as that's what we always do when we go outside) but if I ask him things like "give me the ball" or "pick up your hat" he has no clue, just stares blankly at me or wanders off. He does understand when I say it's time to change your nappy or it's time for a nap though as he always laughs and runs away when I say those.

Relevant info - bilingual home, he did fail a hearing check once but then passed a later one, can point to things but doesn't do it much, normal eye contact etc. and sociable (so no concerns about autism), he pretty much just communicates by screaming or grunting at me until I figure out what he wants. I did try to do baby sign language with him but he doesn't get it, doesn't try signs or seem to understand any.

www.talkingpoint.org.uk/ages-and-stages/12-18-months

The NHS website refers to the “ages & stages” speech development benchmarks on the talking point site. Personally I’d go by the NHS benchmarks as this will be the gateway to getting a referral if necessary.

I have 3 DD's. 1 didn't walk till 14 months and could talk really well, the other 2 walked early and were physically forward but didn't speak at all until they were over 2. They had other stuff to do and big sisters who would run around after them when they grunted. When they spoke they really spoke and clearly everything had 'gone in' they just hadn't repeated it, once they talked they knew all their shapes and colours etc almost immediately. Babies develop differently. I worried about them not speaking but now I would give anything for 5 minutes of them not talking!

Also here:-

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/helping-your-childs-speech/

Definitely get hearing checked. My DS was delayed and he was found to have a hearing issue and needed surgery

Jesus wept, 50 words and sentences?! Nope that would be very advanced in my books!!

I've got 4 children and none of them have been advanced talkers according to the guidelines. My eldest did not speak a single word, not even mama/dada/bye/ta until just after he turned 2. Then he just started learning new words one after the other.

My youngest is 23 months and knows about 15 words, although it's probably only those who are close to him that now most of them.

I would not be worried at all. I would look out and make sure that he's progressing though and if he was still the same at 2 I would mention it again.

According to that talking point website, 50 words and making sentences is an 18-24 month milestone, so 17 months would be very early to see that. And that by 2 they should have at least 25 words.

Use a treat like chocolate to bribe him to talk. Don’t do what he wants until he says the word

What mental advice 🤣

My daughter hardly said anything at this age. Suddenly from 18+ months to 2 years she developed ALL OF THE TALKING. She is 2.5 now and even in the last month has started speaking very clearly. Don’t worry at all he’ll get there.

My daughter said barely anything at 17 months. At about 18 months the single words started coming. I did a tally one day when she was 22 months and she said 34 words. A month later she said 56 words and now she’s just turned 2 and I couldn’t keep count of all the words, plus she’ll speak in 2-3 word sentences a lot of the time. I know some children who can speak ‘better’ than her at the same age and some who are ‘behind.’ I didn’t know any children who were speaking in sentences at 17 months and knew several who were saying nothing. I really wouldn’t worry if I were you.

I don't think there's any harm in getting him checked out.
I only really have my own 2 children as reference but I feel like it's unusual for him to not understand any instructions yet. My DS has just turned 18 months and seems to understand most of what I say to him. He's just started putting 2 words together saying things like "daddy gone" when DH leaves for work.

I wouldn't be worried if it was just not talking yet, it's the understanding as well. Was never worried about DD being late to talk. He's on the later side with physical development too (was referred for physiotherapy at 12 months but the physiotherapist said he's fine, just lazy!) but not out of the normal range. He doesn't like me to read to him which I'm sure isn't helping things.

Thanks for the links @fightthebear they're helpful

I shall have to ask the child nurse about this. He's due for his chickenpox vaccine in August, no problem waiting until then, right?

I would recommend looking into speech and language. Some children’s centres have drop in sessions that can then refer if they feel it’s needed to see a therapist. They will also be Able to advise you on strategies to get him talking

Also take him to GP to rule out hearing issues.

It's really a myth that bilingual children start talking later.

All my kids have/had minor and severe speech issues.

My advice is to never ignore your concerns, just GO and get it checked out. It's best to get the ball rolling, or at least some reassurance that it's perfectly normal.

IME, there's a very wide spectrum of 'normal' and huge changes can happen in as little as 6 weeks.
So no, I wouldn't worry, but I would definitely be investigating it

I agree not to let them fob you off with 'he's bilingual.' Anecdotally, none of the bilingual from birth DC I know are behind on their language skills.

I think if he doesnt seem to understand you well, and he's previously failed a hearing test, that'd be the first thing id want to get checked.

I was worried about my toddler too, especially at the age yours is now. I spoke to my HV who said that there weren't any services that would even consider worrying about it until age two and that was generally if no attempts were made at all (babbling etc was a good sign).
My DS didn't say anything, not even mama or dad da until he was just about 2 years. Even then, it felt like slow going.
We had his two year review at 2 years and 2 months and that HV said she didn't class him as behind because different kids brains develop different things first and that he'd processed more motor skills first etc than speech.
Now he is 2 years and nearly 4 months and he's repeating everything I say and he's really come on, really trying with words and sounds etc.
It really is true about all kids being different and although he always had a good understanding of what I was saying, I just want to let you know that I've been where you are, heard the so many words at so and so age and freaked out abit and worried. But honestly, try not to.
And although we try and keep YouTube etc to a minimum (a losing battle sometimes) we really found that some of the shape and number videos on there really helped him start trying words himself. We've always read to him and always talked a lot with him but it seemed that this has been a big help.
Try not to worry (I know that's easier said than done!) xxxxx

Yes, I should think you'll be OK to delay until August. He might even come out with a word or two by then in which case great :)

You are correct in that not talking is not so much a concern at this age, but lack of understanding is a massive red flag.

Please dont ignore this, your DS needs his hearing checked again, and a referral to speech and language.

In a bilingual house I’d say it’s fine tbh. Does he know who you are DH are?

My first child would babble but not talk at about this age. Even when he was older, he would often get excited and forget that he needed words and not just noises, so he would break into babble again. There was no longterm problem or diagnosis, but he did see a speech therapist. She was very keen on creating the need to talk. We had to learn to not just give him what we knew he wanted, because then there was no advantage to him in talking. That doesn't mean he gets nothing until he talks, but he needs to learn that it's easier for him to talk than to wait.
He's 17 now, and I frequently have to ask him if he will PLEASE just be quiet for a minute!
I think that if you are worried, it's worth seeing a doctor. Even if all you get is reassurance that your baby is fine, it's worth going for that.

And maybe look at some of the tips on the talking point site in the meantime. If he's not keen on books try books with lift the flap, textured pages, buttons to play sounds and so on. Really reading books together is about the one to one time and fact that he's linking sounds with things (like pictures etc). It doesn't have to be a book specifically and you can get a lot of the same benefits by playing with toys together especially talking about what the toys are doing.

at 17 months they should have at least 50 odd words and be putting them together to form simple sentences

Just joining the "Bollocks" queue - I have a 21 month old and regularly see a dozen or so other children the same age. At 17 months the most verbal/talkative one could manage "Henry [his name] cake".

Most people dont understand the difference between receptive and expressive language. And whilst they realise that lack of expressive language at this age isn't a big problem, they don't know that lack if receptive language is - and should always be checked out.

omg with-holding what he wants to get him to talk! This actually makes me feel sad and abit sick! He can't express himself or talk so hes grunting etc it wont make him talk, imagine how frustrating that would be for the child he cannot get the words out and cannot express himself so you just withhold stuff! Anyway my son had glue ear, he couldnt talk, he would make the tone of a word but couldnt actually say detailed pronunciations, so the word 'drink' would come out as 'ink' or a grunt and he would point, he would get so frustarted when you couldnt understand him and the words would sound like he was slightly deaf (not being horrible) he could hear as he responded but he would hear everything muffled so he would repeat it muffled, eventually after hearing tests it was glue ear and once he had the grommets his speech took off! He is now at school aged 5 and needs speech therapy even though i think he has done amazing but its the school that mentioned it but hopefully you can find your answer soon as I know you said it was about the understanding of some bits too

The "50 words and speaking in small sentences" is what HVs in Scotland expect to see at the developmental check done at 30 months. However, I would talk to the child's HV and GP as in your kid's case there is seem to be more issues that just lack of speech .