To think people spend too much on their children

[VictoriaRo]

I'm in my late 20s with no children.

I've started a new job were there are 3 people in their early 20s. 2 with children and 1 pregnant.

They earn the same as me £25-30k. One said all three of his children had versace dummies £90?? And another is looking at £130 Gucci shoes for her new born. The other said her little girl has loads of stuff and shell buy £100+ items.

What in the world?!

I'd maybe consider it if I was taking home a 6 figure salary after tax for a baby but AIBU to think its ridiculous?!

Well they say a fool and his money are soon parted

This really isn't usual, so I wouldn't get too het up on it, to the extent of thinking 'people spend too much on their children'.

This is VERY prolific where I live so this is definitely not a wind up.

I used to go to a playgroup that was £1 entry in a church hall yet all the toddlers would be painting and glueing in designer outfits. £100 Beige Hugo Boss jumper, for example, on a 2 yr old. Then the poor kid would get told off for getting it dirty.

You can pay weekly towards large items. There are kids boutiques where you can pre order.

Nearly every teen here wears Montclair / Pyrenex / Canada Goose Jackets (£600-£900) and designer trainers (£500-£600). Average family is working class /average incomes. Probably a higher than average amount on benefits. There was a round of muggings after Christmas targeting kids and literally taking the coats off their backs and the shoes off their feet.

I have two kids asking for above currently. I can't do it but I actually do feel the pressure.

Madness!

Now I’m pregnant and notice these things I can’t get over how many people are pushing bugaboo foxes 😮
maybe I’m too tight 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's quite common here too. I just think 'numpties'.

I have found, that generally people who do this are lower income and seem to do so out of a sense of pressure to be able to openly show that their child wants for nothing. Conversely you’ll see very middle class children with un-combed hair, mismatched clothing etc, because the parents don’t feel they have anything to prove.

From a working class background personally, I sit in a halfway house between the two polar opposites, of caring (and spending) too much and not caring quite enough, which is where most parents sit too.

By caring I mean - caring what other’s think, not that either group at the ends of the scale don’t care about their children.

most is knock off from Turkey or Spain, so £3 not £90

I agree, a lot of it is knock offs. I had the same thoughts of how do people afford these things?

I have seen babies / toddlers with nike kicks etc, and I think why?! We have a decent income but there is no way am I buying branded stuff for a baby / toddler, its a waste of money considering how fast they grow.

My two are primary aged now and don't care about brands so I am certainty not wasting my money unless it is for good jackets or shoes, I would rather save it for when they are teens.

Your colleagues are mad or lying. People I know earn more and spend less. But even if it’s true, it’s their business.

Yanbu op. My HV was telling me yesterday that she sees people who won’t even consider clothes for their babies that aren’t designer. It’s just ridiculous!

@SemperIdem that’s really interesting. I’ve noticed out of my mum friends that it’s the two on the lowest income (one of whom is me) who have the best dressed babies. Not designer threads, but we both go out of our way to buy from slightly alternative places,Etsy etc. In my case it’s definitely partly driven by not wanting people to think we’re struggling. Where’s the women with the joint incomes of 50 odd grand a year don’t even look like they’ve ironed their babies clothes sometimes!

Yes, OP, and those people will soon be in loads of debt they can't afford to repay.

People who are insecure about their status in society spend disproportionately more on appearance and items they think give status. And ironically in so doing, mark themselves out very clearly as coming from a lower status and class.

My son’s clothes are mostly hand-me-downs and children’s charity shop finds mixed with jumpers knitted by family. I like the charity to get money and it’s more environmentally friendly to reuse. Plus baby/toddler clothes get covered in poo, puke, paint, mud etc. Which is how it should be. Your colleagues seem mad to me, but up to them what they spend their money on I guess!

I spent £120 on ds in the next sale last time. All clothes for the next size up. All half price or less. Practically got him an entire “seasons” outfits.

I earn a good wage as does dh. But why on earth spend more than you have to on things they’ll grow out of so quickly or ruin at nursery.

We do have some designer stuff for him. But it was either gifts (and hilariously inappropriate - white Ralph’s Lauren tracksuit?!! For a 20m old?!) or second hand passed on from family.

People get a bit crazy about spending money on newborns I think. For the first year, our PFB was dressed in nothing but John Lewis organic cotton now (as a toddler) he's dressed almost exclusively in Tesco / Primark clothes, because he's a grubby little urchin and he grows like a weed!

We have a 6 figure income, so money not really a problem, but I'm still a bit about how much it costs to bloody keep him in clothes. Especially in this weather where he needs clothes for about 4 seasons on any given day!

He did have a beautiful Ralph Lauren romper for his uncles 18th birthday. Beautiful white and navy blue. My in-laws fed him strawberries without a bib... and I learnt my lesson!

As long as these children are also being fed and cared for, it’s up to their family how they spnd their money.

I'd say that spending £90 on a dummy is for the parent, not the child iyswim. A baby doesn't know or care about designer brands, and it has 0 affect on the baby whether it's dummy cost £3 or £90.

I agree with pp that those with less money are more likely to do this than those who are comfortable/rich.
I wouldn't, but then I don't iron baby's clothes either... Which a pp seems to think is lazy!

I do spend what others might think Is a lot on my child now she's a bit older, but not designer clothes... Eg a full class birthday party at a soft play or similar can cost hundreds, and entrance to zoos/theme parks/museums etc can add up. Also I might buy nice (but not designer) clothes for special events. John Lewis instead of Sainsbury's for Eg.
So while I think expensive clothes for newborns and toddlers is daft (they're supposed to get messy!) I know that i could be judged for my spending too.

Each to their own I guess!

Where’s the women with the joint incomes of 50 odd grand a year don’t even look like they’ve ironed their babies clothes sometimes!

I've never ironed a single item of my children's clothing. Life's too short. I don't think the H&M leggings are going to look better ironed. I got the ironing board out a while back and my four year old had to ask what is was I MAY relent for school uniform but it will be reluctant.

FWIW, I don't think I've ever seen any of my friend's kids with designer stuff apart from one friend had a Ralph Lauren sweater for her two year old. I think probably the people
I know with young children cover the spectrum of low to higher income families and everyone pretty much just seems to shop in the average high st stores and supermarkets, bulked up with eBay / Facebook bundles and the odd quality items from places like JL, JoJo (though I think their clothes are rubbish), Boden etc

Really shocked that there are Versace dummies- really?

Not interested. This is the online equivalent of curtain-twitching, and I can't think of a topic less fascinating than who is spending what on what. I couldn't tell you what cars were parked on my neighbours' drives at gunpoint.

I imagine their spouses income pays most of the bills and their wage is spending money? Or their outgoings aren't really that much.

don’t even look like they’ve ironed their babies clothes sometimes!

😂😂😂