AIBU not to have a bedtime routine.

[Fizzlekatz]

I'm a first time mum (and first time poster here) to a 10-week old DS. I've had many a sleepless night over the past couple of months and during this time I've read up on baby sleep (including being sent a mad timetable from "little ones") and have now come to the conclusion that it's all designed to make parents feel anxious and if i commit to follow a schedule or routine it will just stress me out and stop me from enjoying my baby.

So I've made the decision to let my DS sleep on me for long periods of time, to not try and put him down "drowsy but awake" (still unsure what that means); and not to have specific nap or bedtime routine. I do make sure he naps regularly throughout the day and spends the nights in the same place (in DH and my bedroom).

This goes against my usual personality which is to have routine and things scheduled and obviously I do want him to eventually sleep well (at the moment he's still waking every 1-2 hours) but I figure he's a baby and probably nothing I do is going to change that right now.

Experienced mums what do you think? Do I have the right attitude or am I creating a sleepless monster and a rod for my own back for the future? Your thoughts are really appreciated!

At 10 weeks anyone who says they have a routine is bullshitting, IMO
As they get older the routine will come, right now they're too young to get it.

At 10 weeks we had a bit of a routine which worked fantastically for us.

Mainly just around bath and bedtime. daytime naps took longer to establish.

No routine is fine. We didn’t have one either. Co slept and breastfed. Then at 20 months little one went straight into her own toddler bed in her room- no tears and no hassle. She still has the odd night in our bed when she wants or if poorly but settles straight back into her own room after night or two with us. We started a “routine” at about 15-18 months but it didn’t start at a set time- just an order of doing things- nappy change, pyjamas, teeth, story.

Ignore anyone who says you are making a rod for your own back or that you shouldn’t be cuddling for naps. It’s is normal and doesn’t make for clingy children - in fact research shows it makes children more confident and independent.

At that age we didn't have anything like a routine. Like you, we would both have always tended to be quite routine oriented, but at the same time we've friends who did the GF to the minute thing and it seemed so stressful (worked brilliantly for them, but not our thing). DD just gently found her own routine, and we went with it. You'll probably find that happens quite naturally.

A bedtime routine can be good for your own sanity as well as signposting bedtime for the baby. You know when you start the stories etc with a fractious baby that the end is in sight! Also, when we started (a few weeks older than your baby I think?), DH would do the story and I'd get a ten minute break in the other room before I did the feeding to sleep bit. Invaluable!