To think 4 months isn't too early for wedding invites?

[thiddlinggubbins]

Friend is getting married at the end of October and by the sounds of things is keeping it quite small (less than 50 people). DH and I have known for a couple of months and have just received the invite. A mutual friend is also going to the wedding and over coffee today mentioned it's "far too early to send out invites". Is it? I don't suppose it matters does it? I thought 4 months was pretty standard?

I’ve never had a save the date. Must be my age.

I've never had one either. A friend is getting married in September next year and I've been told "This is the date, you are invited, you'll get your official invitation closer to the time" Although I have no problem with evening invitations so I clearly know nothing.

We sent ours 8 weeks before the date, but had already made sure that everyone who was going to be invited was aware of the date.

We got ribbed by friends about 'not being invited' when we sent invites in August for a November wedding.

We didn't do Save the Dates, though we did spread the word of the date informally beforehand. 6 months before definitely seems to be the norm.

Surely, it’s better to have the invite as far in advance as possible?

Technically you should send a save the date a year in advance and then the actual detailed invite 6 weeks before

Umm no. I got married in October and had invites out in April. People need to book accommodation, possibly time off work and travel arrangements! As long as they aren't out late, why does it matter

I've had them six months out. 4 months is pretty standard

I thought they should be sent at 6m to go.

That being said, I sent mine on Monday just gone and my wedding is next week.

We’re sending out our Save the Dates next week even tho our wedding isn’t until May 2022

In our defence, it’s a wedding abroad and will give people a chance to save if they want to come

@Eliza9919 wow you are cutting it fine! Is there a story behind one week to go invitations?

So long as people know at least eight months in advance, through either save the date, the invite or just telling them, then what does it matter when the 'official' invite goes out?

But if the invite four months in advance was the first you knew you were invited - that would be too late, unless the couple were hoping for a good number of no-shows for some reason.

@GreigLaidlawsbarofsoap Yes, we brought the wedding forward and it's all been arranged in a couple of months. It's been in the planning stages for a while so had loads of stuff/suppliers picked out so it was just a matter of confirming most things and paying for it.

I sent electronic invites with details the week or 2 before. We are only inviting 19 adults who are pretty much mostly all family and have been kept in the loop as we've gone along. They all knew the date when it was booked. The proper invitations were just a formality and I didn't need to send them but I did as I'd bought them and they were fantastic. Sorry I missed that bit out, I was posting quickly as someone needed me for something.

I think four months is too early for a wedding if there's been no save the date. Normally 6 months at the very latest, some have been a year.

I've been to six weddings in the last 3 years. Only one did Save The Date. The others just sent invites either around 4 months ahead. I think that's ideal unless you're doing some grand destination wedding and hoping people might want to join you in Barbados or somewhere which entails taking proper time off, or possibly if your wedding is midweek where arranging time off work may be more of an issue for people than a weekend.

Why would she even care, surely earlier is better anyway

I'd send save the date cards that far in advance and invited out the traditional 6 weeks before.

ShatnersWig loads of people work weekends though. I have someone pissed off with me that I can't go to an August weekend christening a long way from where I live requiring considerable travel, but the condition of being granted school summer holiday annual leave (which is already booked for a different 2 weeks) being flexible the rest of the summer holidays, so that everyone who wants annual leave in the summer holidays can have it and were always covered. That means being available all the other weekends.

6 weeks notice for anything in August doesn't work, even at weekends. At other times of year it would still be very irritating because it would require swapping shifts. 3 months + is better because shift plans are still flexible that far in advance, but if annual leave needs booking that's all done in January and otherwise you take your chances.

I think it's late to send invites

@anothernotherone But where did I say 6 weeks? I didn't. I said 4 months, which is 16 weeks! There will always be people who will find that not enough notice, others who simply can't plan a year ahead due to work, or whose job is rota based and the rotas are only done 2 or 3 months ahead. For most people, 4 months is probably a good amount of time, although I might do a bit longer for the immediate family or friends you want to actually take part in the ceremony - but then you'd speak to them long before invites went out anyway.

ShatnersWig sorry you're right, was replying to the bit about weekends and muddled you up with a 6 week etiquette poster!

Still it grates when people think you're being an arse and awkward when you can't attend an August weekend life milestone type event which involves hours 0f travel and an overnight. Everyone assumes that you aren't prioritising etc.

That’s late! In DH’s culture, you get 10-12 months notice. I’ve not been to a wedding with less than 6 months notice.