To be sick of this school mum!!!!

[Nothappyrabbit]

Apologies if this is a bit of a rant. I am absolutely sick of a mum at school. I try my best to see the best in people and to help out where I can. This particular mum, a single parent, I have helped out with childcare, given her clothes and toys for her baby, and now she is asking me for money!

I have never complained in the past but I am starting to see a different side to her. I feel like she uses people have witnessed her being mean to her oldest child on a few occasions and her child is the most miserable child I have ever met.

On the other side I have DH, who doesn't really know anyone at school apart from this woman, so will only speak to her on the school run. I have complained about her behaviour before to him but he says that he 'doesn't get that impression of her when he's spoken to her (for all of five minutes I might add ).

Anyway, she's just asked me for money. I have already lent her £20 in the past that she never paid back. I'm just so fed up that if I tell DH this, he will minimise it again. Yet, if it was a different friend he would tell me to get rid.

You need to be very clear with your DH

"You don't tell me who to be freinds with"
"She has abused my friendship too often"
"No. I will not"
"You can do as you want, but do not involve me"

That sort of thing!

@Nothappyrabbit how did she ask for money and what did you say? these things fascinate me as i cant imagine anyone being that cheeky (although clearly they are)

Are you sure he doesn’t fancy her OP? Why would he make excuses for someone who sounds like a leech and a terrible parent? Why does he have her on FB and like all of her posts if this is someone he only talks to for 5 mins every so often?

Are you sure nothing else is going on here?

More to the point why are you still friends on Facebook when you can't stand her? You're being too faced.
You do have the ability of saying no you know? You didn't have to give her the things or provide childcare. It seems you were happy enough to be a friend until your OH started being friendly. This is about you, not her. You don't sound very nice at all.

Have you still got her on Facebook? If you have then why haven’t you deleted her?
It is possible for you to ignore her, delete her off Facebook and your DP to still have her on his Facebook and talk yo her at school

@FightingForSMsEverywhere

CF means cheeky fucker

Some people take the piss. You can distance yourself from her. I would for sure. You can't control who your DH speaks to.

So does your DH think giving her money is a good idea then? Tell him to deal with her from now on

Is he going to give her money? Babysit? Give her baby things?

I think your biggest issue isn't the school mum, its the fact your DH is so determined to be friends with her and not listening to or considering your feelings.

I get where you were coming from with the "single mum" comment, but it did read badly and understandably upset some posters. It was clumsily put and insinuated something I don't think you intended but equally haven't apologised for.

Tell her to piss off, and if your DH wants to be her friend, well that's up to him but he can leave you out of it.

@Billben ah, I like it! Cheers!

Well, he obviously fancies her if he wouldn't take it from one of your friends.
he is your problem, not the mum.
could be an affair.

She's borrowed everything else off you, perhaps now she wants to borrrow your DH too 😱
Tell her no, sorry but you didn't pay me back last time, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me 😉

Is she very attractive?
I can’t help but get sense that this money issue is actually disguising real issue

Which is that you think your DH has a soft spot for her and you’re jealous. Fair enough

Tell your DH to ask her for the £20 back. She'll soon leave him alone. Job done

Another woman threatened by her husband's friendship with a single mum. I sorry OP but this is how it reads to me. It happens more than people realise!

perhaps now she wants to borrrow your DH too 😱

Comments like this are exactly what I mean.

Reply to her by saying oh it's funny, I was just going to talk to you, as I really need that £20 back that I lent you a while back, could you let me have it tomorrow please as I need it for the weekend and you must have had a chance to get it back by now, you promised you didn't need to borrow it for long...

And repeat every time you see her. Especially if there are others around.

Doesn't matter what you need it for (or that you don't!) - the fact it was yours, she said she would pay it back and hasn't is more than enough of a reason to ask for it back.

Hopefully she won't say anything about it to your dh or say that he said it was sorted - insist that that's between her and him, she has borrowed money from you and you want it back. If she tries any guilt tripping, saying it's taking food from her dc or whatever, point out that she thinks it's acceptable to keep food from your dc as by withholding your money that's what she's effectively doing.

Should keep her well away from you for quite a while!

Just don't give her any money. Or any more favours. End of.

If your DH only sees her for 5 mins on the school run he's going to see a very different side to her than you.

I think you are making this into a bigger issue than it is. Just ignore this woman if she's irritating you so much.

Remind her that she already owes you £20 and when will she be paying you back