To be raging at DH and UC meeting? Are we getting sanctioned?

[sticksand]

Sorry, here for traffic really

Meant to be at UC right now.

DH had to do something, said he'd be 10 minutes (about 50 minutes ago) and I'm left in the car (can't drive) with both kids waiting. Tried calling 20 times, no answer. No, not an affair as he's with his mum (she was in the car with us and went with him. I have no idea when they'll be back, we're 7 miles away from the job centre. What's going to happen to our UC now we're either going to be quite late or not attend? Fuming doesn't describe how I feel. I'm freaking out. AIBU to be raging at him? Not a surprise birthday thing either as my birthday isn't for months and we're skint.

Has he come back op?

I hope you managed to sort this out.

Just pondering how much his balls would get on the open market.

I hope him and his mum are ok OP.

I can see why you are in a flap OP..ring the UC people and explain at the earliest time you can ,

I'm not on any sort of benefits but I find it very sad how strict they are

It's supposed to reflect the world of work, which I get, honestly I do. If you can't make it on time to one meeting how can you hold down a job? But in reality, it's bullshit. Your boss won't (and can't) dock your wages by the equivalent of three months pay if you don't meet targets or run late one day. Plus, there's no leeway and as OP proves sometimes life happens. People get sick, they get caught in traffic, childcare falls through. Most employers understand this and are willing to accept it as long as it's not a daily occurrence. You only have to miss one bus to lose up to six months of UC payments.

Please update when you get time OP, let us know if everything is ok

Hope everything's ok OP

I hope he turns up soon and that he and his mum are ok. And I hope you managed to reschedule your UC appointment.

that's just weird

Hope everything's ok OP

Do you have any idea what your DH went to do? Are you not beside yourself with worry that something has happened to them!? It's a pretty unusual situation surely?

Hi, thanks everyone, really appreciate taking the time to reply.

It wasn't our first appointment, which is why I was panicking so much.

They appeared about 10 mins after I created the post. DH's mum is fine; he literally said 'sorry, didn't realise the time'. DH's mum said it's her fault, she kept looking at something but didn't end up getting it

They were nice at the job centre and didn't say anything really so I hope it won't affect us. We were about 20 mins late in total.

I should've taken a taxi but really didn't want to with a six week old and two year old.

What utter inconsiderate fools they both are.

Was it urgent & really needed doin just at that moment??

Is your DH usually so inconsiderate?!

if they didn't say anything, then you might have gotten away with it - I slept through my alarm once (never happened before, never happened since), phoned up in a panic, and I lucked out and got an advisor who was very nice and happy to overlook it so long as I got myself to the Jobcentre the same day.

Quite apart from the appointment, I can't believe he left you sitting in a car with two young kids for an hour!

No, it could've waited 100% she just couldn't make her mind up whether to buy something and kept changing her mind DH's phone had died and hers was on silent, didn't realise the time blah blah blah. DH still doesn't understand why I was mad

You really need to get through to him just how ignorant his behaviour has been. It is his responsibility as a parent and partner. I really am raging on your behalf and really hope UC are magnanimous. Just because staff decided not to fuss in person does not mean anything in long run. It’s down to him to act like an adult!!!!!
(Tbh even without an appointment to go to, it was disrespectful to you to leave you like a lemon for that long)

Well if you get sanctions I hope his mom makes up the difference for fucking faffing around they can be utter swines at the jobcentre

I would make a new family rule, no one is allowed to do anything before a jobcentre appointment. Shopping can wait.

Fucks sake that's outrageous. Tell him in no uncertain terms that errands are NOT performed before job centre appointments.

I’ve been thinking about you, OP. I’m so glad they didn’t sanction you. It seems to be a very cruel system, leaving people with nothing to live on if they miss an appointment.m

Bloody hell! Doesn’t he realise how stupid he’s being?

So when you say he had to do something, he actually didn't at all?

So what-you were on your way & he & his mum got out of the car & were gone for alost an hour?

I cannot comprehend it at all tbh & he's an utter twat if he really doesn't get it.

20 mins late-I'm surprised that they didn't just turn you away!

Good grief OP. Good luck for the future with that pair of idiots in your life. I’m guessing you will be sanctioned before too long.