DP agreeing to extended commitment on my behalf without asking me first.

[BergamotandVetiver]

So for the last week I've been looking after DP's ExW's pet while they are on holiday. (DP and I don't live together so it's me doing the looking after).

I volunteered to do so. Drove to collect pet before they departed.

It's been fine, pet is adorable, but a combination of things (none of which are EXW's fault - my small house, overly friendly dog) mean that it's been harder work than I anticipated. Me and the kids are scratched and bitten to pieces.

Due to hand him back in a few days. Logistics were looking tricky but doable (work/school/activities on day in question). Waiting for word from DP on what's happening. He texts me earlier to say all sorted, he's taking the pet back to them when he visits his DC in the city they live in. THREE DAYS later than pet was due to go home. So he agreed to me having it for three more days than I had agreed to. Without asking me.

I told him yesterday that even though it had been fun, I was pretty much ready for the pet to go home now.

Am really really shocked and disappointed that he agreed to this without even trying to speak to me first.

I have not reacted well and his defence is that he just assumed I'd be happy to have the pet for longer and he's sorry for not asking first but didn't expect my reaction.

I'm not BU here........surely......I can't be??

Shove ddog in a pet taxi and send to dp's house tonight.

I’d not be happy especially as you don’t live together.... tell him he’s looking after it from the time he agreed to!

Of course yanbu it was not his commitment to make. Can you drive the dog round to his house?

'No you assumed incorrectly. Please come and fetch Rover as agreed on Thursday'.

Can he look after it for 3 days?

Just say you can't do it.

Yanbu

'Nope. You ask, you don't assume. You don't get to volunteer me for favours. I'll bring the dog over to you on [original exit day].'

Who said it was a dog?

It's a cat isn't it? scratched and bitten

You would have to be nuts to put up with this now - they are both CFs and are taking advantage of you.

Opps ignore me!

See I wish I hadn't read the responses, as I glossed over "overly friendly dog" and had anticipated the "pet" being something more outing / conspicuous. Like a small scratchy monkey or an over-zealous crocodile (or something maybe smaller, an iguana or similar).

Take Fido to DPs on last day you were supposed to dog-sit. Tell him he can have the pleasure for those extra three days. That'll learn him. Wombat. He can't offer your services without consultation.

It's a kitten. I already have a dog. They get on fine but need a bit of supervision/prising apart.

What has pissed me off in addition to DP agreeing on my behalf is the fact that EXW has suggested this to save her having to wait around for an hour or two for me to bring cat over (after work). So to save herself a few hours I get lumbered for 3 more days? Also DP's family could help make the handover much more doable by just having it for a few hours but "aren't animal people".

DP has said he'll have it for remaining few days but he's away for work for at least one long day out of those and it isn't fair on the cat to be left for so long. Plus I now feel guilty and petulant for kicking off even though I know I'm in the right and feel like I should just have it for the longer time period. Eurgh.

You absolutely should NOT have it for the remaining few days. It’s his ExW’s pet. If she doesn’t want it to be left alone for a few days then she can have that couple of hours inconvenience.

(Not left alone for a few days, I meant left alone for a day).

Don’t do it OP. It’ll christen you as a mug.

Yanbu at all! You were lovely to look after kitten but dp has no business offering your services without checking with you!

Hang on, you have to return the cat to her on top of everything else?

I like cats, but can't imagine looking after my DPs Ex's cat.

You've obviously not mentioned to him how it's been harder work than anticipated.

Cats can look after themselves quite well, so your DP can take it in.

We have cats and go to work, leaving them alone.

Hollow to DP's parent's house which is 20-25 mins from me. I don't mind this but timings "don't work" now.

Not to sound petty but I would also have to buy litter and food as he's gotten through what was brought with him.

That's some serious cheeky fuckery.

Sandy I have mentioned it to him. As per my OP.

He either didn't listen or dismissed this information. Neither are great tbh.

Is your DP on holiday with his ExW?

It’s an absolute no from me too. Get him to ring the ex - or you call the ex and say sorry he was mistaken you can’t have the cat, and can THEY come to collect it from you now.

Give the cat to DP. His problem now, her being left for a long day is not your concern.

If it’s a kitten how is it their pet? How long have they been broken up? misses point

Kittens can be left alone while you’re at work, being able to leave cats alone is sort of the main purpose of having a cat as a pet!

Ah it was stupidly thoughtless but it's only 3 days and he's said sorry, sounds like he wouldn't take you for granted again, unless he's always thoughtless there's more important things to get stressed over.

Get him to call her and tell him this doesn’t work for you. You and your kids are being hurt by her kitten and she doesn’t want to wait around for you. Ffs. Do you have her number?