To be annoyed at colleague regarding his health

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Okay so little bit of dribble before my AIBU to fill people in.

I have type 1 diabetes - an autoimmune condition that you CANT cause or prevent.

A colleague has had type 2 diabetes for the last couple of years - he is informed that he "could" reverse his diabetes if he was stricter with diet etc (im aware theres more to it, but in simple terms)

Despite having different types, he often asks me for help and advise about diabetes in general.. then completely ignores it.

Hes just had his most recent blood test.

For those who dont know the current hba1c readings in the uk are mmol/mol and a realistic healthy range for someone with diabetes is approx 42-56 (meaning your blood sugar is regularly between 4.0 and 8.5mmol/l)

His blood results show that his current hba1c is 95. His colesterol is 7.2
Both extremely high.

But he just doesnt care. He spent 3 hours last night texting me for help and advice etc.. got to work today and hes had 3 wispas, 2 pasties from greggs, a bacon cob and a caramel latte.

Aibu to let it bother me so much? Its not my life thats being messed up. Just think im frustrated that he has the potential to be diabetes free.. that ive invested so much spare time into helping him for him not to care etc.

Eurgh. Rant over.

Sounds like he has some kind of eating disorder rather than ‘just not caring’.

I understand that it’s frustrating helping someone you think isn’t listening to you. Stop helping them if it’s bothering you?

Next time he asks for help/advice, just say that you aren't willing to invest anymore time in someone who just ignores your help. Then if he keeps on, just say he can help manage his diabetes by changing his diet, but he obviously doesn't want to, so there is nothing more you can say.

I can see why it would bother you, yanbu.

My husband is a type 2 diabetic and I frequently tell him it could be reversed. He's a lovely person but has little self control when it comes to food and, frankly, not much incentive in some ways.

Don't judge your colleague, it's all in his hands. However, you can gradually reduce the conversations about diabetes, don't be such a good listener, eg be busy, and change the subject.

I would just tell him calmly, the next time he asks for advice, that you're not going to discuss the matter since you've not seen him take on board any of the advice you've given so far. He shouldn't need you to tell him what those blood results mean, and how he might influence them.

Show him funeral plans, tell him he needs one.

I think you need to be polite but not invest any emotion into it. He may have psychological reasons behind his eating though, I like sweet stuff and Greggs but what you describe is extreme!

What @Nesssie said - just say that you’ve offered advice and it’s been ignored so he’d be better off talking to his doctor. Copy and paste into every message he sends on the subject. Definitely don’t spend three hours on someone who doesn’t want to hear it and/or won’t get help.

There's no point giving him advice in the future, he puts his greed before his health and won't listen to reason.

Thanks for the honest replies.
Ill politely tell him the balls in his court from now on.
I have asked him today why hes not listened to anything we discussed last night and he claims he "wont accept 95 is bad until he hears it from a doctor" 🤷‍♀️. His letter just says the results and to book in with his gp

I agree there is no point giving him advice. I know you care, but it doesn't seem your colleague is willing to listen.
My dad is the same. He does go to doctors frequently but doesn't listen to any advice they give. For many years now he has had gastritis that keeps returning every time he has really oily foods or too much alcohol, but he still continues with his diet and drinking. Mote than a year ago he got diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. Once again the same, he is not willing to change anything at all in his diet.

He already has diabetes, what the fuck is he expecting to hear from the GP?

I don't blame you for feeling frustrated OP, stop being so helpful (and available)

I would tell him straight...I will not be discussing Diabetes with you ever again. You are wasting your time giving him advice and listening to his bullshit.He would really piss me off.

he won't accept 95 is bad until he hears it from a doctor

Then tell him you see no point in any more conversations on the subject. And disengage.

I'm Type 2 diabetic, my DF and DGF were Type 1, just for context; I grew up learning by my father's example how diabetes can be controlled. Although I think he died before his time, there's no doubt that he prolonged his life by sticking to the advice his doctors gave him.
I attend WW, and a fellow-member has managed to reverse his condition, so it can be done.
At my diabetic check-up, I asked if I could do the same, and come off the Metformin. So far, the advice has been: your blood sugars are well-controlled, but not yet; look on the positive side, no need to up the dosage or move on to insulin injections, keep trying!
So, it can be done! But you know that, I guess.......so, why not ask him to keep a journal and note down every morsel he eats?
Don't just observe and seethe silently.
Then, when he next asks for advice, ask to see his journal, and if it's not forthcoming (surprise, surprise!) just say you're not medically qualified, and have nothing to work on. He's already said he "won't believe until he hears it from a doctor" so just agree cheerfully!
Knowing that you'll want specific information, he may cast around for somebody's ear to bend!

Ahh that old chestnut.
Yes, there are hospital beds clogged up with the likes of your colleague, costing the nhs millions with weeping wailing relatives expecting a magic wand to reverse years and years of self abuse and neglect to be waved over them so that they can go home and do it all again until they die.
Early and horrifically.
Make no bones about it, neglected diabetes is s horrific and slow way to die.

But, you are not going to win with this so maybe just they rock the guy.
No “confrontation “, no telling him how it is or entering into discussion that is not going to end well, just grey rock him.

I struggle day in day out to keep my weight down, to be healthy and to stave off such diseases, for me, my children and for the guilt of abusing myself and in turn abusing the severely collapsed health services.
I’m a big believer in taking responsibility for your own health and well-being.
Grey rock, that’s what I say.

Block his number and block on social media so he can't contact you out of work hours. In work discuss work, nothing more. His gp will probably have words at his next visit so no point you wasting your time and energy on him when he's clearly not listening.

'Colin, let's not talk about this any more. You know as well as I do that you aren't following the guidelines on diet, which is the most important thing - nothing I can say to you will make any difference if that's not in hand.'

I'm a type 2 diabetic with an eating disorder (binge eating disorder). Its not a particularly nice combination of illnesses to have to be honest, and I dread to think of how much damage I've already done.

More recently I've been using an addiction technique to conquer the compulsive eating and eating healthy natural food, but when I'm in the thick of my addiction all reason goes out of the window to be honest. As is the nature of addiction.

Your colleague may or may not have an eating disorder but people usually do care about their health, and if they don't look after it it's more simple than just not caring. I could have been your colleague in the past, and you'd have just thought I didn't give a shit.

When his toes turn black and have to be amputated he might start to sort himself out.

Obesity wouldn't be such a widespread health issue if it was easy to deal with. You don't have to help him but he's clearly struggling.

There’s nothing else you can really say, then. I would disengage.

He's not going to change until he has a serious health scare. I'd stop giving advice. It sounds like it's issues with comfort food fueling it.

"I've given you all the info I can, mate. If you need more help, I can only suggest you speak to your GP".

Follow both by a sympathetic smile, then turn back to your work. Repeat as necessary.

Just stop giving him advice. It's a waste of your time and effort. Refer him to his doctor whenever he asks you anything.