To be annoyed at colleague regarding his health

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Okay so little bit of dribble before my AIBU to fill people in.

I have type 1 diabetes - an autoimmune condition that you CANT cause or prevent.

A colleague has had type 2 diabetes for the last couple of years - he is informed that he "could" reverse his diabetes if he was stricter with diet etc (im aware theres more to it, but in simple terms)

Despite having different types, he often asks me for help and advise about diabetes in general.. then completely ignores it.

Hes just had his most recent blood test.

For those who dont know the current hba1c readings in the uk are mmol/mol and a realistic healthy range for someone with diabetes is approx 42-56 (meaning your blood sugar is regularly between 4.0 and 8.5mmol/l)

His blood results show that his current hba1c is 95. His colesterol is 7.2
Both extremely high.

But he just doesnt care. He spent 3 hours last night texting me for help and advice etc.. got to work today and hes had 3 wispas, 2 pasties from greggs, a bacon cob and a caramel latte.

Aibu to let it bother me so much? Its not my life thats being messed up. Just think im frustrated that he has the potential to be diabetes free.. that ive invested so much spare time into helping him for him not to care etc.

Eurgh. Rant over.

HIBU for repeatedly asking for advice then ignoring it and arguably rude given you're Type 1. That said, if a healthy lifestyle, diet and exercise were easy, I suspect there would be fewer obese people in the world.

Regarding 'reversing' diabetes, It is possible to achieve normal blood sugar control in some but not all presentations of type 2 diabetes though this does not 'cure' it. It doesn't mean everyone can. Inflammation and immunology appears to have a role in some presentations.

He's not able to take onboard any advice you give him and needs professional help. I think I'd try and withdraw from trying to support, explaining that you haven't got anything else to say on the matter and he needs to discuss with doctor - and then ignore texts, withdraw from conversations on the subject. With or without a medical condition, that's an appaulling diet and he must know it is.

I agree that you need to just back off and let him get on with it.

As I expect you know, disordered blood sugar can affect one's ability to be reasonable - I used to work with a Type I diabetic, and we could always tell when her blood sugar was starting to get a bit low, so we'd suggest she'd go for her tea break/lunch - NOPE. And she'd get more and more stubborn about it until the boss would actually order her out. Then she'd eat/drink something and be better again.
Another job - boss had type 2 diabetes (old age) but had a similar problem.
My mother had type 2 diabetes - similar problem.

Sounds like he may be reacting to his disordered blood sugar as much as "not caring" - it's a fairly common situation.

Even when his toes go gangrenous, and need to be amputated, he's unlikely to change unless he gets his blood sugars properly regulated :(

tell him you don't want to discuss it, you are not an expert and he needs to talk to his doctor.

He's an idiot. It's not your job to oversee or advise on his health. Tell him that you've nothing to add, you've said everything you can and it's up to him now. Stop 'helping' him.

I had a friend with type 2 who complained he was going to lose his job if his levels went slightly higher and he was put on insulin.

I gave him a breakdown on what he and his family were eating (he was massive but his wife was immensely sized, and I'm saying this as an obese person myself) and explained what he needed to do to begin to make a dent in his weight.

Naturally he ignored everything and continued to go on about his issue and what his work said.

It's crazy. I struggle with my weight and disordered eating. If I was still able to exercise, more than just walking sometimes, I wouldn't be the size I am. Who the hell wants to be this size.

Just signpost him to Diabetes sites online and tell him to get a copy of the Blood sugar diet. And that you can't advise further as yours is a different type of diabetes and he is lucky to have one which is more controllable by lifestyle. and also to consult his GP. and repeat

what can he get from the GP - basically more medication to assist the body to process the sugar and carbs he is stuffing it with - so increase in metformin and or insulin if required. Type 2 is very different to Type 1, 1 is no insulin produced 2 is resistance to the insulin produced and there are also other types including one that is both the above.

Fundamentally the best thing that could happen to him is to go on the relevant course for his diabetes (I think its Desmond for type 2) he will have to change the way he thinks about the food he puts in his body. It is extremely hard to do this given he may have thought about it all one way for 50 years. Also telling him to reverse it by dropping his weight is like nagging anyone to loose 10% of their bodyweight - its not as easy as 123 and there are psychological aspects to new diagnosis as well - rejection is a part of that.

R8 That's not the OP's concern though

Thanks for all the replies. Ive told him theres not much more I can do + he should make his GP appointment sooner rather than later. Hes claiming hes eating so much today to "get rid of it before a fresh start tomorrow".. who knows. Maybe there is more to it - the excessive eating is a fairly new thing and ive worked with him for 7years now.
Ill just concentrate on my own health and let him fight it out with his dr

Stop giving him advice he’s an idiot diabetes is not to be messed with my mum has type 2 diabetes she has problems with her eyes has to give herself an injection once a week and has diabetic neuropathy in her legs and feet so let him crack on because he will pay for it eventually when his diabetes bites him on the ass.

He spent 3 hours last night texting me for help and advice etc.. got to work today and hes had 3 wispas, 2 pasties from greggs, a bacon cob and a caramel latte.

I think a heart attack might nail him before the T2 diabetes.

Stop giving him advice, even though that may not be easy, just because you seem a caring person. Tough caring/love if you will.

I’d be sending him photos of gangrenous feet and ulcerated, pussy wounds saying GO TO THE BLOODY DOCTOR.

If you want to be really extreme, next time you see him eating crap, sweep it all out of his hands / off his desk into the bin. Say "you asked for my help, this is me helping you. If you don't like this sort of help, stop asking!" (I couldn't bring myself to do this really, but it's what I'd want to do...)

I’m sorry you’re struggling, DontPressSendTooSoon and I’m glad you’re trying to take steps to help yourself. 💐

OP, you need to take a step back. The fella obviously has some sort of disordered eating and is worried about his health, but isn’t ready to face up to it. He’s finding excuses and ironically the probably eating because of the stress. Tell him that he is causing you stress by asking you for help, but not listening and he needs to do some research himself, to learn how to deal with it.

I can understand your anger, because your health problems are beyond your control, but his disordered eating may be, currently beyond his.

My dad died a horrible horrible death from t2 diabetes complications .. had he been a dog they would have euthanised him. Very stupid individual to be so flippant about his health .

My friends brother is like this man and has the same problem. he won't listen and just says he'll take the meds abut not change anything. Costing the NHS a fortune and worrying everyone else around him