Alcoholism or normal?

[ImAwfulWithUsernames]

Currently debating this at work.

My OH enjoys 1-2 drinks a night (usually a rum & coke) but they don't make him tipsy or drunk, he just likes the taste.

Myself, I usually will drink half to a whole bottle of wine once a week (in one night)

I've grown up around alcohol so having a glass of wine with dinner is completely normal to me... but some people are convinced this makes you an alcoholic.

Thoughts?

A whole bottle of wine in a night is too much in one go. Can you dial it back to a glass of wine a night over the course of 5 days?
The thing is, if you’ve had one whole bottle and your DH has had two rum and cokes, your capacity to react and be present is impaired/inhibited. If you have kids, you need to just reduce a bit. Maybe 1 rum and coke instead of two and one glass of wine instead of a whole bottle in one evening.
Those are my thoughts but you have to do what you feel is right.

If you re alcoholics then so am I. I enjoy a half bottle of wine at the weekends and dd enjoys rum and coke.
Some people dont understand that a few drinks to wind down after work and a dependency where alcohol rules everything are opposite ends of the spectrum
I know a few alcoholics and by this time of day They will have had a few.
I know functioning alcoholics too who are at work right now thinking of nothing else but their next drink.
I m not like that and i m sure neither you or dh is either.

A whole bottle of wine is quite a bit for one person.

1 to 2 rum and cokes a night isn’t too bad but your DH should really have a few alcohol free nights per week. Gives the liver a break

If DH is having pub measures, 2 drinks would still have him under the drink-drive limit so I don't think that is a problem, though every night isn't ideal. A couple of nights off per week would do his liver the world of good though.

I actually think that a bottle in one go is quite a bit, but as it is only one night a week I'd think "meh". Not ideal to have it all in one go, but I wouldn't be concerned tbh.

You are both under the weekly recommended limit for alcohol anyway. So I actually think it is quite a normal amount and nowhere near alcoholism.

I'm exactly the same as you with regards to the wine.

It's interesting what different ideas people have on this topic.

We lived for a while in the States and a lot of Americans we met seemed shocked by what I would consider normal British levels of drinking.

We also lived in Russia for a few years and by comparison we were almost teetotal compared to Russian levels - although I'm not saying that all Russians are like that, far from it, but the average amount drunk is definitely higher than in the UK.

Alcoholism isn't so much about quantity, it's more about dependance. Can you and your partner easily go without those drinks?

Most people bandy 'alcoholism' round when they mean 'over the recommended amount'

Alcoholism is a dependancy on alcohol. Drinking too much (without dependency) is entirely different.

I think it’s about whether you feel you need to drink.

I genuinely don’t worry about my drinking because I know I’m choosing to do it. I can easily go months without drinking. There have been loads of times that I’ve had bottles of wine in my fridge/wine rack for weeks and it’s all only ever been used in cooking. I can go to the pub and drink soft drinks, even if others are drinking.

I’d start worrying if I felt that I needed to drink alcohol. Or that I couldn’t stop once I’d opened a bottle of wine or something. But, as it is, I like to drink sometimes but I could easily just not drink.

Unless there is more to it than you are saying then neither of you is an alcoholic or even a particularly heavy drinker. The term alcoholic is often misused. An alcie is both physically and mentally dependent on alcohol to the detrement of anything else. You usually ARE one - you don't become one. I should know, I am happily married to an alcoholic who has been in recovery for over 13 years.

@MyOpinionIsValid -absolutely what they said. Drinking more than recommended and alcoholism are too very different things. Unless you’re missing something out neither of you are alcoholics.

I don’t think either of you drink excessively.

Not a specialist here, but one bottle a night would burn 10 of your 14 units a week, and I think the medical consensus out there is that it is best for the liver to do like your husband (a little every now and then) than single period high consumption (or binge).

So from a liver health point of view, it seems a bit hard on it.

For the alcoholism part, I believe it depends on dependency. Can you stop for 6 months? Do you need it? Can you stop at 1? that sort of thing. I think there are some good psych tests out there... if you are bored at work

Surely it depends on how you define “alcoholic” or “alcohol problem”. I’d say that you only have an alcohol problem once your consumption of it begins to affect your day to day lifestyle, causes you problems with those around you, negatively impacts on your health, or you “need” to have a drink. I drink far (far) in excess of guidelines - but it isn’t problematic by the above definitions and since I’m a semi-pro athlete, doesn’t appear to be affecting my health. So no, I wouldn’t say you’re an alcoholic or have a problem. Do you feel you do? Do those who are actually close to you (as opposed to internet strangers) express concern?

MN is very skewed in opinion as well. I know hundreds of people professionally and socially and virtually all of them drink at least moderately unless for religious reasons. About half of MN-ers claim to only have a Bailey’s at Christmas and a small class of bubbly at the odd wedding - and obviously this is going to affect responses of get.

What SkydivingKittyCat said.

FIL was told to cut down after he landed in hospital with a head injury trying to get home from a night out. He was told to cut down his drinking as they couldn’t even treat him properly for a couple of days because of the alcohol level in his blood. He was discharged after a week and immediately drank. That’s an alcoholic.

You're binge drinking, your OH isn't if he has pub measures. He is as well if he sloshes more than a single measure in each.

The question to ask is do you feel shit if you don't drink? And can you deal with the kids waking up or an emergency after that bottle?

@MyOpinionIsValid got it in one clear simple statement.

One bottle a week is nothing! I know units wise it’s to much in one week but I have a few at the weekend, guess I’m an alcoholic to

I drink a 10/11 % bottle of wine twice a week. I know that's too much but I do have 5 nights off. I'm going to cut down to one night.

Dh has a couple of vodkas every night, only drinks more on a rare night out. I can drink a bottle of red wine and feel fine, especially if it's drank over many hours and with food. Probably do it once a fortnight with no alcohol in between.

Drinking every single night is a bit excessive imo. I try to drink no more than twice a week.

One of you an habitual drinker one of you a binge drinker. Both of you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

I drink every day, I can easily drink a whole bottle of wine and I don't even feel tipsy. It takes a hell of a lot for me to get drunk (I'd have to drink all night), and I've never not remembered anything.
I don't need to drink so I don't see it as a problem. I drink because I enjoy it, and I don't get affected in any way by it, so I will continue to do so.
(I was having a half a glass of wine on special occasions from when I was 8, and I was always allowed to drink growing up, which is why I have such a high tolerance and can handle my drink. I don't drink to get drunk I drink to enjoy myself and relax. Equally not drinking would never bother me, which is why I know it's not a problem at all.

I have a thread up at the minute regarding alcohol. I am an idiot when I drink too much. That is my issue but several people have tried telling me I'm alcohol dependent.

Dependency is by its very a nature a need or dependence to drink alcohol to the point where it consumes your thoughts and/or interferes with your life and relationships. I drink because I enjoy it but I do sometimes get a bit out of control and for that reason I'm learning to modify my behaviour and drinking habits.

I believe that you can drink over the recommended allowance and still not be an alcoholic. Unhealthy perhaps but not alcoholic. But in your case I don't think you need to worry at all.

I usually holiday in France or Italy, and I would say their attitude to alcohol is far more relaxed than in the UK.
People never seem to drink to deliberately get drunk, but do have wine with lunch and dinner, and not just one glass.
I certainly do not think the OP and her husband have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, maybe slightly more than the recommended amount, and also what is important, is that they seem to be discerning about what they drink, not just necking everthing in sight.
Some of the youngsters my missus works with, preload with drink before they go out for the night, which tells me that they cannot socialise properly without being "merry" which is a sad state of affairs.

This is as far removed from classic alcoholism as it's possible to be. If you felt a NEED for that drink, as PPs have said, THAT would be a problem. Also as stated previously, this is more about being over the recommended daily number of units.

I'm a recovering alcoholic - my own addiction spanned over 15 years, and was severe to the point that I experienced a large number of withdrawal seizures - and I'm prescribed naltrexone, an anti-craving medication that has made me completely indifferent to alcohol. If I WERE to drink, I'd get no pleasure or 'buzz' from it.

I wouldn't worry too much if I were you, just keep an eye on your overall consumption.