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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think Harry and Meghan are taking the piss?

999 replies

ohymygodbethenny · 25/06/2019 11:03

How are people not more outraged? And no, tourists do not visit the UK specifically because of the royal family.

"This year, 320,000 people were recorded as homeless in Britain"

OP posts:
Bandara · 27/06/2019 19:19

Swanning of to Africa now too. I think when they said , "we are excited to talk to people on the ground", it sounds a bit condescending

Whisky2014 · 27/06/2019 19:31

"Swanning". Aren't they going out there to work? Representing the commonwealth and supporting his HIV charities.

You just sound bitter. Whatever they do or say you'd have a bee in your bonnet.
Better just let it go and be happy in yourself.

Bandara · 27/06/2019 19:37

@whiskey2014 I dont like them and never will. That's my opinion. I am for equality.

Bandara · 27/06/2019 19:38

The last tour that they went on, they certainly got lots of treats and dinners and gifts handed to them. Its hardly work. It is a holiday

Whisky2014 · 27/06/2019 19:46

i am for equality

That will never happen

CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook · 27/06/2019 22:01

Why has this thread disappeared?

Isatis · 27/06/2019 22:08

Huh? The fact that you're posting on it shows it hasn't disappeared.

CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook · 27/06/2019 22:52

It totally disappeared from 'I'm on' and 'I'm Watching' and also totally disappeared from AIBU. I had to go into my browser history to find it, and after I typed that sentence it still didn't appear in my 'I'm on' but did reappear in AIBU.

So I clicked back on it again and then everything went back to working as normal.Confused But MN website has been constantly freezing on me as well so...

JaimeBronde · 27/06/2019 23:26

It's so boring hearing all the unintelligent spoutings about how the RF are profligate spendthrifts, rubbing our noses in it & are the cause of all inequalities in this country.
Wake up it's the fucking government causing problems!
And before some bleeding heart communist comes on here & moans again about past monarchies grabbing the land.
Well no one owned the common land hundreds & thousands of years ago. Survival of the fittest & due to quirks of history over the millennia anyone's family could be the monarchy right now. Luck of the draw, being in the right place at the right time.
Prepares for the onslaught....
P.S. There are some very good ideas in communism before you call me Tory Capitalist Scum. I actually vote Labour & Liberal.

CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook · 27/06/2019 23:46

'bleeding heart communist', I like that one, borrowing for later Grin

JaimeBronde · 28/06/2019 00:02

I think I'm trying to say is even if we had an elected head of state they'd still spend money.

CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook · 28/06/2019 00:05

True but at least there would be the slim chance of replacing them. Not that current political events give me any grounds for this belief.

JaimeBronde · 28/06/2019 00:53

I know what you mean we could end up with a Trump or even Elton John, though at least it would be cheerful & musical with the latter Smile

Btw I like your user name CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook.

Smokeonthewater · 28/06/2019 04:23

This an interesting thread with some thought provoking posts.

I don't see most of what the Royals do as 'swanning about' - I think in the main they work hard and do a lot of good in promoting charities and supporting their work. I think in general most of the Royals try hard within their remit to do what they can to do good, and are probably very aware of their extreme privilege in terms of houses and perks. It is probably true that most of them would much prefer by miles and miles to be ordinary citizens, able to hold normal jobs with the lack of scrutiny and freedom that would entail. It is probably seen as a burden and a heavy chain to many of them that they really have no option but to live in a goldfish bowl with everything they do and say scrutinised under a microscope and twisted by the Press. The role of the Press has become completely toxic in this country, and for anyone in the public eye their lives are a living nightmare. They haven't chosen to be Royal , they are born into it. HM genuinely sees her position as one of heavy responsibility and imposed by God. She continues to carry out engagements in old age because she feels this is an obligation. Can any of us imagine our grandmothers doing what she does in their nineties? I'm sure she would much rather be sitting in a chair next to Philip looking at the garden, or visiting her horses all day. Retirement is a luxury she will never know. Contrary to what a previous poster said , I thought Philip lives at Windsor with her and they go together to Sandringham when they visit, but i may be wrong. It is obvious that she totally adores him, and has said publicly that he has been her mainstay, without him she couldn't have done the 'job'.

Yes, the RF do have lots of staff and perks, lovely holidays and huge houses. However, they are servants to the public in the sense that they cannot work in any other capacity really, and they cannot escape from public scrutiny.

I think the problem is that the role of the monarch and their family has become very blurred in modern times. The RF can only survive and be tolerated by us, the public, if they appear to genuinely warrant the sort of status that their wealth and privilege suggest. They aren't celebrities and they haven't earned their money, not really. Once the line starts to blur between celebrity and royalty things will come unstuck. The reason for the backlash against Meghan is not racism. It is an unease about the feeling that she doesn't understand the rules of the game. If you're going to spend inordinate amounts of money, be seen to earn it first, or keep under the radar. Don't promote yourself as a person, promote the cause you are working for. In fact if you have any sense, behave like Sophie or Princess Anne and quietly go about your business without ostentation. Unfortunately Meghan has been trained in a different direction and is from a very different culture.

Princess Anne, Edward and Sophie and to some extent Charles and Camilla understand this and work hard to justify their expenditure and status. I also think that William and Kate understand this very well. However, I don't think Meghan gets it. Not surprisingly, because she hasn't been brought up in the UK and comes from a completely different world. Her world is the world of celebrity . She's used to her own life, her own money and doing what she likes. I think she has tried very hard to 'fit in' but it isn't her natural environment and I don't think she really sees the necessity to please the public, not just her husband's relatives.

What makes many of us uneasy is the feeling that the RF are really just people like us. We don't feel the deference that previous generations did because of the media, and the fact that Royals are now marrying commoners. The forelock tugging has died out, and when the Queen goes, the whole structure will be seriously rocked. Why should the PM curtsey for example , to Meghan? It has become ludicrous.

I think if the RF do survive into the next century some of the old fashioned deference will have to go , some of the Palaces and private jets etc. Instead, they will be figureheads who work hard for worthy causes but live more modest lives, with the junior members working . in other capacities. Perhaps that will happen under Charles, but as others have said, as the older members die out , the younger ones have to step up to the plate to continue their work. So it will depend what that 'work' constitutes. Opening things, attending the races, etc could perhaps be discontinued in favour of more hands on events.

I really feel that the Commonwealth visits are a nonsense. The British Empire is over, and jetting off to Australia or Canada for no real purpose other than to patronise makes no sense in a modern world. It's bad for the environment apart from anything else.

It's sad to see the rift between William and Harry because now more than ever, those two need to work together to carry the monarchy forward in a way the younger generation can relate to. There is a lot of good will towards them because of the Diana years, so they need to keep that going and live up to public expectations. It seems like their PR has gone off track and the rumour mongering has gone into overdrive. It''s a shame the Fab Four wasn't a reality for more than a brief time before collapsing in a shambles.

In any case, I think the next twenty or thirty years will be crucial in whether the RF survive at all.

CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook · 28/06/2019 04:58

I know what you mean we could end up with a Trump or even Elton John, though at least it would be cheerful & musical with the latter

A HoS with the spirit of Elton John would be epic musically...but probably a total shambles in other waysGrin

Btw I like your user name CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook

Thanks!Smile

SummerPlace · 28/06/2019 06:37

Just want to add: the British Museum is supposed to be the most visited tourist attraction in the UK.

CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook · 28/06/2019 06:43

Excellent post smokeonthewater Lots of interesting points.

Re: the 'Fab Four' I agree that this was a great concept and it is a big shame that they've decided to go their separate ways, but then I presume it's partly because W&K don't have the capacity - due to their more senior roles - to really get in the trenches in the way H&M can do and they may want to highlight and support a different set of charities. Still I think it was a mistake as the idea of the four of them working together was great PR.

I don't think Meghan gets it. Not surprisingly, because she hasn't been brought up in the UK and comes from a completely different world

I agree, however I'm going to say it's not just the difference in culture, but also her politics: like a lot of celebs who inhabit (or wish to be embraced by) hollywood she veers towards the left politically. It's not just being 'left', there's a left which can be more centrist and there's the more extreme left patronised by hollywood, which embraces increasingly woke ideals and from what I see is increasingly inflexible. It's all white privilege, immigration is only positive, defer to the feelings of whatever minority shouts loudest at the expense of the rights of others etc. Coming from that would make it difficult fitting into one of the most conservative establishments in the world. Had she been Republican, especially one engaged in public life, she would maybe fit easier.

The refusal to meet with Trump exemplifies this. Despise him or not, that was a great faux pas for her image as a new Royal. Maternity leave or no, does anyone believe she would not have greeted Obama had it been his state visit? She was unable to put her politics aside, showing her commitment to leftist ideals, whatever they are or happen to be, will take precedence over perceived duty. Seen again with the birth of P.A. being a self avowed feminist, she wasn't going to do the archaic stand on the steps beaming. All good. But it wasn't managed well and a lot of the (entitled) press were pissed off. There still aren't any decent official pictures. Instagram not withstanding. But older Royal Supporters are not going to use Insta and feel H&M are being precious.

I'm not sure Harry wasn't being a bit selfish in proposing to her to be honest; he took a beautiful, feisty, opinionated, self made woman and proposed knowing how compromising and difficult it would be for her to just play the Good Wife to the Nation. A bit like putting a bird of paradise in a cage really and expecting it to perform tricks. Not fair. Same thing with Diana totally unsuitable and unfair, too young, too idealistic, to head strong, too modern.

What makes many of us uneasy is the feeling that the RF are really just people like us

Yes again! It's strange but I feel they ought to start marrying their royal cousins from abroad again or established aristos in the UK, so that they can at least bring the prestige of connections and bring an air of justification to it all.

If we're being expected to buy into the idea of 'Right by birth' then it does seem increasingly ridiculous that a joe blogs can receive such high elevated status and deference by nature of a marriage ceremony. In the past people would accept it, but now people will rightly question "what makes this person better than me"

I really feel that the Commonwealth visits are a nonsense. The British Empire is over

I think it's self-indulgent nonsense (working holiday with massive perks at best) but might be useful post brexit.

GotToGoMyOwnWay · 28/06/2019 07:45

Some good points from Catherine & Smoke

The commonwealth thing is necessary though post Brexit.

noodlenosefraggle · 28/06/2019 07:57

prefer by miles and miles to be ordinary citizens, able to hold normal jobs with the lack of scrutiny and freedom that would entail.

I doubt that somehow. They could easily decide to give up their claims to the Throne and live a life of obscure luxury. They don't, on the whole. They want an ordinary job because they haven't a clue what it would be like to have to work to actually pay bills themselves. They could decide to have an official residence and a private residence with the ensuing drop in cost and fewer servants. They don't.

noodlenosefraggle · 28/06/2019 08:12

Yes again! It's strange but I feel they ought to start marrying their royal cousins from abroad again or established aristos in the UK, so that they can at least bring the prestige of connections and bring an air of justification to it all.

There are no Royal cousins from abroad who want to marry them! They are busy marrying actresses themselves! And the British aristocracy, as proven by William and Harry's trawling round don't want to marry them either. They are wealthy enough without being brood mares. And the whole point of the monarchy is if you don't like who they are (Charles) or who they marry (Harry)? Well tough. We don't get to choose.

Smokeonthewater · 28/06/2019 08:28

Yes noddle I agree about the problem of there being no pool to draw from amongst aristos. Harry found that out I think. Also they probably find marrying ‘out’ a very refreshing change.

You are probably right too about a reluctance to give up the trappings and earn a living. Certainly for some. It’s an institution and they are institutionalised. I do think William and Harry would have chosen a normal life though. It’s not so easy to bow out easily. They are trained to feel the obligations inherent in their role. Particularly senior Royals. William and Harry adore HM and look up to her. To step away from Royal life would be unthinkable for them I think.

Smokeonthewater · 28/06/2019 08:28

Noodle, sorry!

LaurieMarlow · 28/06/2019 09:23

Yes again! It's strange but I feel they ought to start marrying their royal cousins from abroad again or established aristos in the UK, so that they can at least bring the prestige of connections and bring an air of justification to it all.

I’m baffled as to why anyone would think popping out of a royal/aristo vagina helps bring an ‘air of justification’ to it.

What’s inherently better about a person born into a family with land and a title? But then that’s my fundamental issue with the whole thing.

As for curtsying, the whole thing is total nonsense, but I don’t see why the queen is any more worthy of curtsying to than Meghan. Her sole qualification for the job is being born. I have no respect for that.

PineappleFwitters · 28/06/2019 09:44

When you think about it, actresses and actors are probably the best choice for consorts - they don't shy away from the limelight, they'll be good public speakers and they'll always look engaged and never bored at even the most tedious engagements!

Smokeonthewater · 28/06/2019 09:45

Well it’s supposed to be about bloodlines innit? That’s the whole basis for the aristocracy and royalty. I agree it’s nonsense. As someone upthread said, the land cane to them originally because of war, rape and pillage. The biggest bully wins. The aristocracy was formed from the allies and friends of the biggest bully. The King would reward his helpers with land , titles and privilege. As we know, many of the aristocracy were/are barking mad, feckless lazy or corrupt. Blood is no indicator of worth really. Our own Royal family are mostly German by descent, not British. Diana used to mock them for this.