Step mother and my inheritance

[fetchmemyparasol]

My father died in 1997 he was reasonably wealthy, my step mother inherited the two houses he had plus any additional assets.
My father did not leave a will, however my siblings and I decided not to enquire what he had left.
Fast forward to two weeks ago my stepmother died, her relative a second cousin had taken her from where she had been living to his home, my brother had previously been looking after her.
As far as we were aware she had not made a will so as we are aware all her assets go to her blood relative.

We have now found out that my father was the sole owner of the house she was living in, my question to any one in the know is .
Can her blood relatives have the house or does it belong to my siblings and I who are my fathers children.
Also this cousin is now claiming that there may be a will leaving it to his family .

Another add on - I have seen lots of people come into our office when I worked as a legal secretary and there is either an intestate query or, in a few cases, where someone, usually a man, died, and he had remarried but lived abroad (usually Caribbean) and the DC from the first marriage assumed they'd been left something. In a couple of cases it transpired that the DC from the first or previous marriages had been left token gifts or nothing and the next wife had got property etc.

One of my friends who is Bajan (from Barbados) - her DF has a few 'children' from previous relationships plus his only marriage - now divorced. To save anyone being upset but also to avoid will disputes, he's agreed to leave the other siblings who were not of his marriage, token amount of money in his will.

To save anyone being upset but also to avoid will disputes, he's agreed to leave the other siblings who were not of his marriage, token amount of money in his will

How does that save upset?

I should have added, I agree that you must get specialist legal advice relating to your own situation. Things can be very complex.

I am not legally trained, though do see this sort of thing coming up at work. I am just starting to get my head around some of it.

This is why I think wills should be compulsory and centrally registered. It might solve so much of this sort of thing.

Are you going to explain if they were married? How much the estate was worth when he died? Tbh these are all things, which needed sorting a long time ago. She lived in the house for over 20 years. Even if they weren’t married, she could actually have had a legal claim to the house just because of living there for so long.

If she inherited everything and left nothing to you, clearly she was a nasty woman.

This happened to us. My grandfather died without a will. Over £200,000 pounds in shares and bonds etc, all his jewelry and possessions went to my step-grandmother. Plus she got the house. My mother and uncles unwisely took the minimum the law allowed which was £5000 pounds each. As soon as the funereal was over my SGM changed from the loving affectionate woman she had been to a stranger who refused to even let us in the house. I guess she was grieving but she also made it clear that my mother and uncles would get only what the law stipulated. She cut us off, I would talk to her if I saw her and even visit, but she would keep me at the door. That was awful too to lose both GP at the same time.

My Step Mother never remarried but died 3 years ago. Immediately her brother who knew she had been ill and never visited once in 20 years, came over from Guyana, gutted the house, sold all the remaining possessions, took the jewelry and the house was sold (it went for £620,000) and he and his family got everything. However there was no additional will.

We were not informed that my Step Grand mother had died. Only her neighbours tracked us down and managed us to tell us what was happening when it was too late. I cannot tell you how deeply upsetting it was to realise that all my Grandfathers photos, the momentos and the small things like his favourite cups were put in a skip. Even her things that I would have respected. Her cousins were so embarrassed by the indecency, that one of them gave me a marriage photo she had been given years ago.

The funereal was arranged hastily and we were not informed. Her brother didn't even arrange for a new gravestone to be carved.

Anybody reading this please, if you remarry ensure you leave clear instructions in your will for your children. Do not presume your partner will do the right thing.

Had that money remained in our family it would have been tremendously helpful. Could have helped support my DD''s at university, and myself, I live on the breadline and have no assets and am ill. My mother would have been able to buy a small property, instead due to her health she makes do with a private let but struggles with the rent.

Always make a will.

@justasking111

@CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook

OUCH.

if i ever find myself in this situation [re-shacked up] then i'm giving my house to my kids at the earliest possible opportunity, on the understanding that they allow my second partner & i to live there rent free for the rest of our lives, whicever of the two of us lives longer, but after that, it's theirs, or my grandkids', i suppose.

I am legally trained, not an expert in this field but I know enough to say that, as others have said, you''ve had some very good, and some VERY bad, advice here. You need a lawyer to ask the right questions (some of which are set out above). Please take proper legal advice: if a poster gets it wrong, and you rely on it, you have no comeback.

Sorry not to have got back sooner, thank you for all your advice, yes my father was married, my father and stepmother are Muslims , and as far as we aware he had not made a will due to his beliefs, however he had said that he expected all of his estate left after my stepmother death to go to us, she was supposed to make a will . when she became ill her family moved her to live with them so we had no further correspondence with her from then on.
Up until then my brother had been looking after her..

Reading this thread is giving me the rage. I hope you can resolve this somehow OP.

Catherine I honestly have no words.

And if they make a will it's best if they lodge a copy with a solicitor if possible and let you know who it is with, this can stop.a will going "missing".

@fetchmemyparasol are you in Scotland or England/Wales? I think the law in Scotland is that if someone dies intestate, the offspring must inherit something. That everything is split amongst the surviving spouse and the surviving children. If you're in England or Wales, this doesn't apply unfortunately.

Happened to my brothers and I. I doubt there’s anything you can do.

Father remarried. Didn’t make a will. Three homes, over £800,000 in shares/bonds, several vintage cars and all personal possessions went to my step-mother.

I’d bought him a signet ring when I got married, and he gave it back to me in hospital, the last time I saw him. She didn’t bother to visit him before he died, but called the police to accuse me of stealing the ring from his dead body.

Obituary in paper mentioned only her and his step-daughters. Not us, his three biological children, or any of his grandchildren. She refused to tell us when and where the funeral was. Wouldn’t give us our parents wedding photos or photos of my mother - she burned them instead.

She died last year and no one went to her funeral - not even her own daughters. I hope there’s a hell and that she’s in it

rattus, you need legal advice too. HMRC might regard what you're suggesting there as a device to avoid inheritance tax. Again, I'm not an expert, just trying to remember stuff I've read before. You do also have to bear in mind that if you hand over legal ownership of your home to someone else they could have you evicted if family relations break down. It's not just steprelatives who behave badly in these situations, blood relatives can be diabolical too.

AIBU is really, really not the place to ask important legal advice.

You absolutely must get proper legal advice based on the exact circumstances.

Get a lawyer.

As I understand it many will offer a free half hour to advise what can be done and whether you should pursue the case - at which point it will cost you but by this stage it will be worth your while.

To my knowledge if your father did not leave a will it should have gone to probate and been split between all relatives if documentation was still in his name then technically I would think her family have no legal claim best to see a solicitor.

We are i England, it is so sad to hear all your experiences about these things, if there is a lesson to learn its to make a valid will if you remarry
Make one any way thank you all for your replies

@CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook

It’s unspeakable, isn’t it? I couldn’t have cared less about the houses and the cars and the money, but not to have a single photo, letter or a piece of clothing - nothing - when it’s junk to other people - it’s terrible

Was the marriage Islamic only or legally registered? If the former they wouldn’t have been recognised as married under law and everything would go to you.

It may be pertinent to remember that in 1997 you could buy two rather nice houses for £250,000 in many parts of the country. The estate may not have been as large as it now seems.

As far as I am aware they married in a registry office in 1996,
we will be looking into this further I have taken all of your advice and will be going to see a solicitor.
I just think the law as it stands now is cruel, I think all children from either parent should have a share of anything there parents leave.

She did not have any children.
Until the family member took her to live with them I was in regular contact with her.

I'm a lawyer but this is not my area. Please make an appointment with a solicitor in wills and probate for correct advise rather than an Internet forum as some of the advice here is inaccurate.

The question is, how much was your father’s estate worth in 1997? If it was £125,000 or less the whole amount would have gone to his spouse and you will have no claim. If over this amount, the extra should have been split equally between his spouse on one hand and his children on the other (50/50). Any amount over £125,000 that the spouse received was subject to a life interest only clause and should revert to the children when the spouse dies. Any sum that you were entitled to when your father died but never received is, I believe, subject to interest as well.

So sorry for your loss and Sorry to hear this ... legal advice would be a good option
It’s just not fair
We have written a will at least 10 years ago .... learning through others unfortunate experiences
Good luck please keep us updated if you wish

Thank you cavalier, I certainly will keep you all updated.
I will be speaking to my brothers and sisters later on this evening and we will be making an appointment to see a solicitor.

Happened to us. My dad trusted my SM to leave my nan's flat, that she'd owned for 50 years, to my little brother and I. He didn't leave a will. She promised him she would - didn't, sold it and bought herself a holiday home. Legally she had every right to as spouse gets a certain amount. It was just a shitty thing for an already wealthy woman to do. Always make a will.