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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask really basic questions about how you shop/cook/spend money?

72 replies

Greensleeves · 25/06/2019 00:09

DH and I are pretty shit with money on a day to day basis. We don't drink or gamble or blow huge amounts on impulse, but we just aren't organised or careful or good at keeping track. I've been having a look at our finances and really, for the amount we have coming in, we should be comfortable, yet we regularly run out of money towards the end of the month, and the problem is definitely our lack of method and general lackadaisicalness about haemorrhaging cash on things we don't really need.

Do you shop weekly? Monthly with weekly top-ups? Do you plan things like take-aways or eating out in advance and budget for them? Do you make lunch the night before and take it to work, or do you just buy something you fancy each day? I try to box up leftovers for lunches but they get forgotten because we're all busy, preoccupied and naturally scatty in our family. Do people actually keep household accounts so they know how much they have and how much they've spent? Do you meal plan and shop accordingly? How do you plan spontaneous purchases of drinks/snacks etc, for yourselves and the kids? We have two teenagers who seem to need constant access to snacks and extras, and are constantly asking for money. It's not unusual for me to go to the fridge for chicken to make dinner, only to find that ds2 has used a significant portion of it to make himself a stir fry or something because he was peckish after school! We have a snack box he can access, but he's not big on healthy snacks like nuts or low-sugar cereal bars (ds1 will eat those) and I don't want him eating crisps and crap every day so I don't tell him off for nicking the chicken and cooking it with veg, I just text dh and ask him to pick up more chicken on the way home from work.

I know, I'm a twat and a normal competent adult should be managing this stuff by my age, but we're both just crap at it. We shouldn't be skint, but we frequently are and I'm fed up with it.

OP posts:
user87382294757 · 25/06/2019 09:35

I have started online shopping at Iceland (free delivery to home over £35) for things like frozen fish and other things for the freezer, and then get bread and milk at local Co-op. I then try and get fruit and veg from the local market stall. This makes things less tempting as less variety! But then we do get the other things you can't get in town also.

I also tend to make portions of soup, baked potatoes up in advance and freeze these. DC like things like pasta bake which I would serve with broccoli, peas and carrots. Often, DH and I have the same on weekdays with other more interesting things at weekends.

Oh and Poundland for toothpaste, shampoo, Dove soap and household cream cleaner, toilet cleaner etc. It is a bit more of a faff than just getting say it all online at Waitrose / Sainsburys but sales a bit. I would maybe try Lidl if i drove, as it is meant to be good

ComeAndDance · 25/06/2019 09:57

-weekly shop with a menu for the week. We buy what we need for that, nothing else.

  • dcs are teenagers too. They know that they are not to touch the food for the week. There is bread and biscuits/fruits around if they are hungry.
  • I am careful that the portions we cook are big enough for them (dc2 prob eats about twice as much as me!). Esp for lunch. Lunch is a full meal in our house, not a small sandwich with a packet of crisps.
  • also very careful that they actually have a proper lunch (so they are not starving by 3.30pm)
  • implan thé menu for thé week ans this includes all the lunches. No risk of being ‘scattered’ Because it’s all written down.
  • left overs are frozen straight away. They get forgotten in the fridge and not used (btw, your teen dc could actually eat the leftovers if he is so hungry too!)

After that, shopping is divided between Tesco and Lidl to keep some of the costs down.
We don’t follow carefully ‘impulse buy’ like buying a drink/snacks on a outing etc... but mainly because we tend to be careful and not just buy if it’s not needed/can wait etc...

To give you an idea, we spend about £500 per month in total for food etc... 2 adults and 2 teens. We have meat every day and that includes all lunches too.

ComeAndDance · 25/06/2019 09:59

I’m also using Starlink as a bank.
It tells you how much you have spend for the month in each category which means you always know exactly where you are spending wise an if you have gone overboard or not.

Hippychick78 · 25/06/2019 10:04

@zaziethecat I love your username, hope I have tagged you Correctly.

Could you share the banana flapjack recipe please??? 😎

ComeAndDance · 25/06/2019 10:04

I would never ever buy lunch. This costs 2 or 2 times what you could do at home!! (And home cooked/prepared will be 100x nicer).

If you cut that down and avoid coffees etc in the way to work, you will already make a huge difference to your budget!

notacooldad · 25/06/2019 10:08

To give you an idea, we spend about £500 per month in total for food etc... 2 adults and 2 teens
£125 a week!! That is loads!! ( I'm assuming you are incuding toiletries and , cleaning stuff as well)
We dont spend anything near that , way less than half for most weeks and then a bigger replacement shop now and thenand have a similar set up
(- 3 males, one female is our familly make up )and we eat really well as well as clean and groom!

ZazieTheCat · 25/06/2019 11:20

Thank you @Hippiechick78

Banana flapjack recipe

225g gluten free oats
4 very ripe bananas, mashed
70g coconut oil, plus a little extra for the tin
Pinch of salt

Preheat oven to 140C
Grease a 6x8 (or similar) baking tin/similar with the extra coconut oil.
Melt coconut oil in a large pan, add the mashed bananas and stir.
Mix in the oats thoroughly, turn into tin/dish and pat down well to give a smooth surface.
Bake for 45mins to one hour, until golden on top.

Sometimes I use cocoa butter instead of coconut oil to make white chocolate and banana flapjacks. Or sometimes I use a nut butter or tahini instead of coconut oil, I just work out how much of the nut butter it will take to be 70g of fat.

If you want chocolate ones add 2-3 tablespoons of cocoa powder. If your bananas are quite small you might need to add an extra one if you add cocoa though.

happycactus · 25/06/2019 11:34

I budget and plan for everything. We do a weekly menu and only buy for the planned meals. Work lunches are brought from home. Work lunches are either from the freezer stash or sandwiches/something on toast. We always take snacks and drinks from home. We have a designated pot of money for family treats for the month and all family activities (including takeaways) come from that.

My budgets include monthly bills, yearly payments (insurances & MOT), clothes, dentist/hair/opticians, car/house maintenence, birthdays/Christmas and kids activities, holidays. I work out the total for the year and slit it over the 12 months.

We also have our own 'pocket money' each. To spend on what we like.

We also treat savings like a bill. We have an emergency fund and a savings account.

Absolutely every penny that we earn goes in to on of the budget pots.

We also have a shrapnel/road kill jar which we use towards holidays/days out.

DownUdderer · 25/06/2019 11:58

I think having an idea of what a month costs you is a good idea, then having that much saved up is a great idea!

Saving up for the multiple yearly expenses is a great idea. So car tax and insurance, home insurance, etc or quarterly expenses such as gas and electric. Just divide these expenses up to know how much a month you need to save so that all bills are ready to be paid as soon as needed.

Having emergency savings takes away stress about car repairs or vet bills or a new washing machine.

Over paying the mortgage can save money in the long term. Eliminate all debts, then you’re not paying for interest.

You can join great online forums for money saving and budgeting ideas. Being in control of your money and having goals can be quite freeing.

TwelveLeggedWalk · 25/06/2019 12:02

I actually enjoy this side of wifework, so I take pretty much sole control over all this. I think that helps because there is only one person making decisions/planning. I work from home a lot during the week, DH tends to work more erratic hours out of the house. That's a big factor.

Do you shop weekly? Monthly with weekly top-ups?
This has changed recently as I now get a veg delivery box once a week. I know what's in it in advance so will have a rough idea in my head of a few meals I want to make, and will probably do 2 top up shops a week. Having the veg box has changed how we eat - so instead of buying ingredients then having salad on the side, we now plan meals around the veg and I buy things like goats cheese, prawns etc to make meals out of them. Regular other top ups are breads, extra fruit, yoghurt etc.
Milk and eggs come from the milkman.
Once every 2-3 weeks I'll do a bigger shop and get things like cereal, rice/pasta, store cupboard top ups, meat to go in the freezer, cleaning products etc.
Overall our shopping bills have probably gone up slightly but we are eating much much more healthily.
I try and plan which supermarket I go to to keep costs down - so I'll go to M&S if I want their spicy prawns, but will avoid buying basics like bread or bananas from there and get those from Aldi.
I keep a blackboard on the kitchen where anyone can write down things that have been run out of or ingredients we need. I photograph the blackboard when I go out in case I pass the right shop.

Do you plan things like take-aways or eating out in advance and budget for them?
I can't remember the last takeaway we had - part of eating heathier has meant I'm less tempted to order these.
We used to eat out very frequently as a family at weekends, and have cut that right down too. Partly down to eating with the kids becoming more relaxing as they got older. BUt we're now very conscious that spending #30-40 on a nice cafe lunch or takeaway really adds up over a month.

Do you make lunch the night before and take it to work, or do you just buy something you fancy each day?
I have one day a week when I buy lunch out, and I treat myself to a nice cake because it's my worst work day. THe rest of the time I eat at home or make packed, using food that I know needs eating and the kdis probably won't - salad bits etc.
DH has a subsidised lunch at work so doesn't take it very often, but will take leftovers if I make extras of things like roasted veggies/couscous.

Do people actually keep household accounts so they know how much they have and how much they've spent?
No. we have a joint account where all bills on direct debits are paid from. There isn't nuch left over on that for food/petrol/unexpected bills, but I check it at least once a week and eitehr DH or I top it up fro our current accounts if needed. WE also have a text alert if we're running low. That focusses the mind on how much we've spent that month.

Do you meal plan and shop accordingly?
I have a running meal plan in my head - i am pathological about avoiding food waste though so am constantly adapting it to make sure that things that need eating get used up. I google a lot of recipes using the key ingredients I know need using in the next 2-3 days for inspiratoin and then adapt them.

How do you plan spontaneous purchases of drinks/snacks etc, for yourselves and the kids?
Kids have a snack box which they are allowed into, plus fruit bowl at any time. Then there's an area of the fridge that is always free for them to eat from - but things I've planned for dinner are put separately. Everyone in the house - DH included - knows not to crack open a packet of something like chicken without asking if it's needed.
I do work away quite frequently - during those weeks I just try and fill the fridge with things like sausages that everyone likes and let them go free for all on it!

Xenia · 25/06/2019 12:12

Do you shop weekly? Monthly with weekly top-ups? - When all the children were at home we did - had a Tesco delivery which arrived when I was out (I always worked full time) so the cleaner put it away. Tried to avoid weekly top ups so no pester power from children.

Do you plan things like take-aways or eating out in advance and budget for them? - I don't really do those at all or may be twice a year. I don't get take away food ever.

Do you make lunch the night before and take it to work, or do you just buy something you fancy each day? - When I worked in the city it varied - sometimes I took a packed lunch, other times I felt well off enough just to buy a sandwich each day.

Do people actually keep household accounts so they know how much they have and how much they've spent? - Yes virtually always - I even have my university account book where I wrote down everything spent. Today I don't record all spending but I do check the bank account at least once a day and once a year do list most spending to see how things are.

Do you meal plan and shop accordingly? - not really but I am not short of money. I just eat what I want. Now the youngest are at university I only cook for me so it's easy these days.

How do you plan spontaneous purchases of drinks/snacks etc, for yourselves and the kids? The children and I only drink tap water most of the time so there is no pestering for colas and that kind of junk thankfully. I don't usually have snacks. The children when younger could have snacks but we tend mostly just to eat meals.

It is usually easuier just to increase income and take on second jobs and get promotions than cut back on spending on a piece of chicken or extra potatoes. Just take more work on and you will probably solve the problem. (I have always worked full time even with small babies).

TowerRingInferno · 25/06/2019 13:00

I meal plan and shop (online) weekly, with top ups of fresh fruit in summer because it doesn’t keep for a week. We live rurally and have no shops nearby so planning is key to efficiency.

Very rarely have take aways or eat out because there aren’t many decent opportunities nearby and I like to know what I’m eating.

I don’t budget.

I’ve stopped buying many snacks recently because my dcs can’t exercise self-control.

Pinkmouse6 · 25/06/2019 13:13

We don’t get take-aways anymore. I think the last one was just after Christmas and it was so disappointing we never bothered again. It’s just an awful lot of money for substandard food.

We shop weekly and meal plan. Tend to plan a meal for every evening, lunchbox stuff for the DCs and lunches for me (on mat leave so at home all day) plus shop for staples once a month so there’s always back ups just in case we can’t be bothered cooking the planned meal one night. Shop in aldi which saves a lot of money. I try my best not to go into the shop mid week because I always end up buying crap we don’t need.

HorridHenrysNits · 25/06/2019 13:47

Family of 4, shop weekly with top ups as needed. Some weeks it's only really bread and milk, other times we seem to need quite a bit midweek. For two adults and two infant school aged children. Also our main shop is at Aldi and often also the local market, so we will need to go elsewhere for other stuff sometimes.

Kids are on free school meals as aged 7 and 5. Next year one on packed lunches and I expect we'll just buy what's needed with the main shop. I never buy lunch because I work about 50% from home and 50% in a place where there aren't really any options within 10 minutes walk other than a newsagent. So I'm organised because it's either that or be hungry. DH does work at a place with a canteen but takes his own probably 90% of the time. I often make this for him as I'm at home more. He used to be less organised when he worked in an area with even more lunch options so tbh I think part of it is the knowledge that you can buy something. I bet you would be less scatty if it were going to mean you went hungry.

We do meal plan, would never just wander round buying whatever, and tbh there isn't always a lot of variety in what we eat just because of kids and routine. We probably rotate fewer dishes than most people, and that's sort of the downside given that we like to eat healthily, have fresh ingredients, cook from scratch but also not spend shitloads. And one of mine is fussy as fuck as well.

At the moment, I find the food stuff relatively easy to control and keep track of but I get the impression that's related to having younger kids who don't really do unsupervised food prep beyond raiding the biscuit tin, cereal etc, and aren't in when neither of us are. So I don't have the problem of mine getting hungry and snaffling what was meant for tea before DH or I sees. Also I am part time and then work from home sometimes and someone just physically being in the house makes it easier.

With teenagers going through the gannet phase, I think you probably need to accept that food bills are going to be quite high, have some ground rules and also have stuff in that will give them something hearty quickly. My parents had a lot of us and not loads of money, and what they used to do is have things like batches of pasta sauce in the freezer in individuals, and have loads of beans and bread, so anyone coming in famished could get that. And tell them this is what it's for.

We don't specifically budget for things like snacks and meals out as there's enough slack in the budget that we can do those now and then without needing to think about how it's funded. That's obviously related to how much spare money one has, but it's also because we're not looking to have a takeaway every few days. £30 once a month isn't a problem, every week is four times that.

DCIRozHuntley · 25/06/2019 13:59

I'm always surprised at how much the cost of a takeaway varies around the country.

We don't often order for the whole family as it's a treat when the kids are in bed but on the rare occasions we do, we can all have a Chinese for under £20. Yes the kids don't eat as much as an adult but there's usually plenty left. We'd order something like a large beef curry, sweet and sour pork, chicken chow mein, chips and a large rice. 2 large pizzas and a side from Pizza Hut / Dominos is regularly on offer for £20. A chippy tea is usually less than a tenner - we don't tend to have fish but that'd be 2 jumbo sausages, 2 fishcakes, 2 medium chips and a large mushy peas.

Ormally · 25/06/2019 14:12

Where economies of scale make sense, I try to make plans for that, such as: soap, shower gel, toothpaste, washing or cleaning stuff, toilet roll. All of these I'd usually bother going to somewhere like Wilko/ B&M etc for. They also often have some fairly cheap portable/carton drinks for taking on the go. I buy ice cream multipacks/nice cones to be able to do ice creams at home (DD still little). I make ice cubes from cold coffee for iced coffees which is a bit of a temptation for me, guess you could use some teas like that too. I try to buy the school-suitable winter coat online in the Summer at a completely ridiculous time of year to nose around for clearance sales.

Meat and salad I find noticeably expensive in it all though.

HorridHenrysNits · 25/06/2019 14:18

Actually yes £30 is a bit high for ours. It would probably be £25 tops, this is the kids on KFC and the adults Indian or Chinese. I don't like pizza so we don't do that but it always seems colossally overpriced even on offer! Maybe because I don't eat it. Chip shop stuff gets much more expensive if you're on the fish. The four of us had lunch in one a few weeks ago at the seaside, nothing posh, and it was above £20 because the fish were nearly a fiver each (fucking amazing though, could taste they weren't long out of the sea).

We have been trying to keep takeaways to a minimum, more because they're so bad for you than anything else, but obviously budget wise that helps too. That said, I do tend to prefer specific places and I'm not bothered if it might be a couple of quid more expensive than the Indian over the road.

aposterhasnoname · 25/06/2019 14:28

Both salaries go into a joint account. From this we pay a set amount into a second account that all bills come out of. There’s also a standing order set up to pay into our savings account as soon as we get paid. We meal plan, and shop weekly. We have a cash back credit card which we use for all food and petrol, and this is paid on full every month as soon as we get paid. Whatever’s left in the account after all that is our fun money.

historysock · 25/06/2019 17:01

I've always been rubbish with money and managing budget. This month was always going to be tight as had to pay the final big instalment off our holiday (which id of course put off to the last minute 🙄)
I've done really well on my budget this month as I forced myself to sit down at the beginning and work out how much I had to spend following holiday payment, food, petrol and bills.

I wrote all the totals down in my iPhone notes and have literally taken everything I've spent, as I spend it, off the original totals in the appropriate area so I know how much I've got to spend on everything ongoing- it's helped to make me consider purchases and plan better.

I get paid Friday and I've still got a fair amount left in my food budget and a not bad amount in my free spending 'pot' despite a big unexpected bill earlier in the month and a an expensive one off day out for the DD's and I which was booked ages ago.

I'm really please with how it's worked (and obviously feel like I've discovered the holy grail but realise that normal/sensible people probably do this as habit), so am going to carry on doing it.

The old me is still there though-the urge to splurge my remaining free spending money is great-but im determined to resist and actually put anything left aside for more expensive times ahead-Christmas is 6 months today 😑.

NoAngel1 · 26/06/2019 22:41

Interesting thread and lots of replies from people who seem to have this sussed which has been very helpful as I’m a bit like OP with my budgeting skills.

I’ve just decided it’s time to get organised as my spreadsheet somehow missed off some really important payments (including nursery fees?!)

Also guilty of buying far too much at the supermarket with no proper plan of what meals we are having. I’ve now signed up for 6 months of online deliveries at Morrison’s to see whether not actually going into the supermarket will help with my overspending.

OhTheRoses · 26/06/2019 23:00

I agree pretty much with Xenia.

When ds was a teen and almost grew visibly it was hard to keep up. I got home at about 6.30 and dinner was ready by 7.30ish. This was the post au-pair period so nobody at home to serve an early dinner:

For about a year I made huge bowls of pasta:

Pasta, smoked mackerel, spring onions, mayo. Cold

Pasta, roasted cherry toms, black olives, basil (microwaved with blob of mozzarella) or cold.

The toastie was handy too, with Tomato soup.

And plentiful fruit and yoghurt.

After that he tucked into a family meal.

GreenTulips · 26/06/2019 23:37

The best thing about online shop is if you are tempted by a special offer, you can take something out of the basket to change your meal plan. You are less likely to do this in the shop.

Also you can see the total and change any expensive overspends

You can also double check your cupboards, how many tubes of tooth paste does one house hold need?

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