to ask really basic questions about how you shop/cook/spend money?

[Greensleeves]

DH and I are pretty shit with money on a day to day basis. We don't drink or gamble or blow huge amounts on impulse, but we just aren't organised or careful or good at keeping track. I've been having a look at our finances and really, for the amount we have coming in, we should be comfortable, yet we regularly run out of money towards the end of the month, and the problem is definitely our lack of method and general lackadaisicalness about haemorrhaging cash on things we don't really need.

Do you shop weekly? Monthly with weekly top-ups? Do you plan things like take-aways or eating out in advance and budget for them? Do you make lunch the night before and take it to work, or do you just buy something you fancy each day? I try to box up leftovers for lunches but they get forgotten because we're all busy, preoccupied and naturally scatty in our family. Do people actually keep household accounts so they know how much they have and how much they've spent? Do you meal plan and shop accordingly? How do you plan spontaneous purchases of drinks/snacks etc, for yourselves and the kids? We have two teenagers who seem to need constant access to snacks and extras, and are constantly asking for money. It's not unusual for me to go to the fridge for chicken to make dinner, only to find that ds2 has used a significant portion of it to make himself a stir fry or something because he was peckish after school! We have a snack box he can access, but he's not big on healthy snacks like nuts or low-sugar cereal bars (ds1 will eat those) and I don't want him eating crisps and crap every day so I don't tell him off for nicking the chicken and cooking it with veg, I just text dh and ask him to pick up more chicken on the way home from work.

I know, I'm a twat and a normal competent adult should be managing this stuff by my age, but we're both just crap at it. We shouldn't be skint, but we frequently are and I'm fed up with it.

I shop weekly, but get regular stuff in like sandwich and salad foods for lunches. I then see where everyone is during the week, for example this week dds were at Brownies Monday, Girl Guides Tuesday, dd1 is at a school camp Wednesday, dh is away on business Thursday so won’t be home and Friday we’re going away for the weekend. So, as I knew where everyone was this week the meals get planned around that.
I usually shop at Lidl of ALDI.
We have a joint account where all our food purchases come from. We eat takeaway or eat out once a week.
If your son was hungry and made a stir fry, why didn’t he make a huge batch so everyone else could have it?

We supermarket shop fortnightly. We used to end up buying a lot of midweek extras and have cut back as you end up buying small quantities or not quite the right thing in expensive metro shops/corner shops/m&s for convenience.

We top up fruit & veg weekly, it takes planning, we eat the things that don't keep well at the start of the week and the longer lasting things at the end. We meal plan & write a list for the main shop & we acknowledge the need to snack so buy things there in multipacks, much cheaper.

We don't really buy coffees out often - only on long trips or holidays. We have travel mugs we use for our commutes.

Our real weak area is lunches. We used to be better at making things to take to work but have been crap on it lately and are aware we are haemorraghing money there.

We are very organised about all the other bills (utilities etc), we track spending and usage and cut subscriptions we don't use (gyms, Netflix etc).

I live 10 miles from the nearest supermarket, so I’ve always made a complete week’s meal plan and shopped once a week.
Ditto 10 miles from any decent takeaways, so never use them.
I cooked everything from scratch. I didn’t want the DC to eat additives and all the excess salt, sugar and fat in ready meals. Now I’m retired and they’ve left home, I still cook all my meals from scratch.
I keep full household accounts, with a separate budget for each item such as food, clothes, charity donations etc, written by hand in a book.
It might sound a bit control freaky, but I’m autistic and like to be well organised.
Plus, when I worked full time as a doctor, while being a widowed single parent for almost the whole lifetime of my DC, I had no time or spare cash to waste!

I plan the week on Saturday mornings, who is in who is out etc, and then meal plan, then shop. With two hungry teens you need to be planning in additional food they can access without messing up the meal plan but your food bills are going to be big for a few years.

DH and I put all our £ income into a joint amount and get an equal monthly allowance (into our own accounts) for personal stuff like clothes, haircuts, going out separately and food at work comes out of that so that focuses me on taking packed lunches to work. I appreciate that’s harder to manage with kids but if they are old enough to have pocket money are you clear on what it’s for and what you won’t fund? If you are constantly topping it up how about giving them more regularly but no top ups, so they have to learn to manage and budget.

What exactly do you mean by ‘haemorrhaging cash on stuff we don’t need’?

Having a savings goal is good. I know that for every £250 I save over the next 5 years I can retire a week earlier. Definitely gives me an incentive to stay out of the shops.

Oh and do the boring Martin Lewis budgeting thing, even if only once, definitely worth it to get a grip.

I love this thread! I am a budget shopper due to our financial commitment but also because I actually really enjoy it!

So this is how I do it:

I find out what my budget is for that month, depending on what we had to pay out. My budget usually between £150-200 a month for groceries so I make that last the month.

I write a meal plan that my family and I will eat for the next fortnight (doesn't matter what days, whatever we fancy on the night). Then I check the cupboards and freezer to see what I already have, and write a shopping list.

I go shopping in Aldi and the 5% of the other shopping I go to Morrison's as Aldi wouldn't usually sell whatever it is I need from Morrison's. I go shopping once a fortnight and I try to spend less than £60 each time. Every week, I go town during the week and get a little top up, bread, salad, whole fresh chicken for our pack lunches and milk.

Everything I do, I cook from scratch. Maybe 1 a week I cook a precooked meal but that is usually something like a chicken en croute or a salmon wellington, then I just boil some potatoes and veg to go with it. I cook things like curries, chicken and leek pie, pasta, hunters chicken, Indian food with homemade chapati (I bought atta flour that was only £3 from Tesco many months ago and still have lots left)

I pre make packed lunches the night before. I find out what ingredients I need to use up, and ask my husband what he fancies. My husband and I usually take either a salad or sandwiches, so I make them and pop into the fridge and take it to work. IF I have cooked too much food the night before, then we take that into work instead so we use up leftovers.

Just my tips but it may help you:

• try and cook from scratch. You save a lot of money and you will start to enjoy eating fresh, nutritious meals

• buy whole pre cooked chicken and use that throughout the week in salad, sandwiches and even in stews and casseroles. Try and go for frozen chicken breasts instead of fresh as that is always cheaper

• Try out supermarket branded products, especially from Aldi and/or Lidl. You'd be surprised how many of them are made in the same factory as other supermarkets like Sainsbury's, Tesco and Asda

• If you have leftovers, either bring it to work the next day, have it as another meal another day or freeze it! Then it is there on the days where you haven't quite got enough food for the family or simply because you are not in a mood to cook that night. Lasagnas and shepherds pie are great to freeze

• Work our how much you are going to spend throughout the month. Take it out in cash and keep it somewhere safe and use that cash throughout the month to buy your grocery shop

• DO NOT BRING YOUR CREDIT OR DEBIT CARD WITH YOU WHEN SHOPPING! This completely avoids the temptation of buying things that are not on your shopping list!

• Finally, YOU CAN DO IT!

PS: watch "eat well for less" to learn more savvy tips! You can also order their books from amazon which has amazing recipes. Their healthy take on katsu curry is delicious

I don't really meal plan as such but I keep a good stock of basics like tinned tomatoes, kidney beans, frozen diced onions / peppers and Very Lazy garlic. That means I can do meatballs, chilli, spag bol, sausage casserole etc without much drama. I always keep a frozen pizza and some nuggets and chips in stock too so we've got a go-to on busy evenings.

Takeaways are a special treat and something we actively decide on in advance, but we do tend to have one most weeks. We take packed lunch for work, picnics on days out and DH keeps a stash of chocolate bars and a bottle of squash in his drawer at work. This means we can have an ice cream or a greasy spoon-type lunch pretty much on a whim on a day out as there's enough cash in the pot but it still feels like a treat.

I do think there is a balance between planning every meal and never having takeaways and spending a fortune "lackadaisically" (great word OP!).

Disclaimer. We also run out of money, we've tried different things over the years but it never lasts. We both grew up in low income households where we were regularly denied basic neccessities so that's definitely a factor in our spending habits. We want to have a nice lifestyle not scrimp and save. What's your and DH's backgrounds with money/food?

I think it's great your DC are cooking for themselves! I'd want to encourage that not stop it. Can they make a bigger amount so there's enough for when you and DH get home?

Maybe involve them more in the food shop and meal planning, ask what they want to make that week and have the ingredients bought for them. Write a list on the fridge of the meals that you will all have that week.

We put the same amount each in the joint account to cover rent, bills and food. I do the majority of the food planning and shopping, he does all the washing so it balances!

I generally just buy for a few days in advance. We live opposite a tesco and near lots of other shops so it's easy to just pick stuff up as we go along. We go out for dinner a few times a month, dh pays for all the dinners out. He mostly pays for takeaways although I sometimes pay. We have those a couple of time a month as well.

Occasionally I do an ocado order if we have friends over or we go to M&S a couple of times a month too.

I’m struggling to op ...I’m to scared to tot up how much I spend on food a week.
I’m feeding 6 adults and a pre teen that easily matches them food wise.ive 4 vegans 2 vegetarians and one meat eater to cater for.
It’s impossible trying to cook one single meal.so I end up resorting to crap put together meals so I can do 3 different types.im not happy either.
My kids all complain there are no snacks in ,so I’m actually having to do a cooked lunch or breakfast for them as well as a cooked evening meal.
The pre teen is tubby so that’s why no snacks ,and I’m trying to reduce his amount .
I’m easily doing £40 shops every other day ,and a big shop twice a month ..

I think op if one of mine cooked I’d be saying you might as well cook for everyone and we will warm it up when we get home..
He might not bother to eat your chicken then...or he might actually cook you all a lovely meal

Everyone who keeps fruit as a snack, do you know it's v high in sugar and v bad for DCs teeth if snacked on at different times during the day? Off topic I know, sorry.

@dimsum123 high in sugar but it is naturally occurring sugars, no added sugar whatsoever. As long as your children have regular teeth cleaning then there isn't an issue. It's far better and more nutritious than eating candy, crisps and chocolate.

When the children were younger money was tight.
We mainly shopped online weekly with a set menu which changed weekly for three weeks then started again. I topped up fresh ingredients from the garden, neighbours gardens or the market. I’d worked out which of the basic range items were OK and used those for essentials.
Snacks were limited when they were little but I’d have baked cakes, flapjacks and bread etc if they needed something to tide them over an activity.
As teenagers there was always known snack items and fruit available. We’d unlimited eggs for free so scrambled egg was a regular. Then there was filling stuff they could make - vegetables and pasta or rice or maybe cheese on toast.
Set amount for school lunches as younger teenagers but if they chose to spend it on expensive things earlier in the week they were hungry at the end of the week. They learned quickly.
Money was not handed out whenever it was wanted but we tried to meet reasonable requests. A new violin string was not a problem but we’d think carefully about two cinema trips in two weeks.
We very rarely had takeaways.
We limited the amount we drank.
We set finite and comparatively limits for birthdays for us all. Children got necessary items rather than purely indulgent items often.

Meal planning is what helps me as it really reduces waste and everyone knows what we are eating. Meal planning is a while family exercise as all of us cook at least one meal each week. I then do an online weekly shop and usually get DH to look at it too to make sure we get it right. I plan in snacks and lunches.

If we have a portion left over I usually freeze it.

Meal planning and dedicated shopping lists tend to keep us within budget.

We don't budget specifically for a takeaway or meal out but will check the bank and make sure we can afford it before we go/order.

Work lunches are usually sandwiches or leftovers. I always save leftovers and pop them in the freezer so DS (14) can help himself when he gets in from school. I also try to make sure I've got some of those pasta n sauce sachets in that he can make. It saves him using up stuff that I have earmarked for a family meal (yes DS I remember the time you tried making a batch of tomato soup with ever can of chopped tomatoes in the entire house)

Do people actually keep household accounts so they know how much they have and how much they've spent?
I use internet banking and check the balance every day to keep an eye on things. Takes seconds to do and you can react quickly if theres anything untoward.
We go through periods when money is tighter than others so I try and keep in good habits when there are good times to help through the bad.

Do you shop weekly? Monthly with weekly top-ups?
I have a lot of basics in the cupboard that doesnt go off quickly such as dried chick peas, lentils, different types of rice, large tubs of peanut butter ( I use a lot in cooking) Tahini, seeds,frozen foods like chopped onions ( a game changer for me) frozen sliced mushrooms, bottle of lime and lemon juice. Having these in I can make anything from a curry, a soup, a stir fry in minutes or gave a tray bake in the oven quickly and so on.
I can go a few weeks without needing to shop except for milk and occasionally bread for the kids.

I never bought snacks for the kids. We didn't keep crisps and the like in. They wasn't forbidden to have them but I didn't want them to get into the habit of always grazing. I would definitely be telling off if they were eating an ingredient that was used for a meal though. That's not on! If really hungry they would make toast with peanut butter or cheese or have some scrambled eggs.( not eat a bloody main ingredient, I would roar at that!)

I loosely meal plan as at the moment not everyone is permanently at home but they may call in to eat so I make things that can be frozen.
Do you plan things like take-aways or eating out in advance and budget for them
We rarely ever have a take away, maybe one every 12 to 18 months. We used to have a pizza delivery when the kids were younger for a special occasion but don't bother now. If you have it all the time it's not an occasion anymore!
I dont always have to budget for eating out and I do enjoy it but I do look for lunchtime or tea time deals and have been known to use vouchers, especially if we go out ACA family and take their girlfriends with us.

I said this in a post the other day but I have personal money challenges, well that is to see how long I can go without spending money! ( excluding bills)
I dont buy shop bought coffee, magazines, incidental bars of chocolate. If I have to pay for parking I park further away and walk to wherever ( not for everyone but an example of how I save when I'm in that frame of mind, you will find your own thing to do. )

When I'm being extreme, the money I would have spent but didnt, will go in to a jar, eg, I would have spent £4,50 on car parking, but it was a nice day so walked - £4.50 would go in the jar!!

Last few months I've been meeting friends in the park and going out walking, or going out mountain biking rather than in a cafe. Meeting friends can get expensive!!

Do you make lunch the night before and take it to work, or do you just buy
I dont have to take food into work as my meals are provided however I sometimes do and will prepare the night before or before I go to work if I'm starting late. I don't mind making Dp's lunch though!
Notes on top of my work bag remind me to take it in!!

My lads will usually soak oats overnight for us all for breakfast and just add fruit or something so that helps fill them

Clearly you are not a twat. You just need to learn new skills and it won't happen overnight but will take practice and you will need Dp to be on board with the idea.
Once you start looking you will realise you probably need less than you think!!

I would say there is a balance between being frugal and having some joy. With planning and Iinitially watching closely where your money is going and what can be cut and what is needed you will soon be on track.

Good luck. I hope some if my advice helps and other posters have good advice as well.

DP and I have a joint account where a set amount goes in each month. This covers all bills, mortgage and one big supermarket shop for things like laundry stuff, dog food, toilet roll etc. Pretty much the same order each month.
We do one visit a month to local butcher, for all meat products. Take in turns to pay for.
Everything else is just brought as and when by whoever is at the shops. Not very organised, but we both earn similar amount, and it seems to all even out over time.
We don’t really meal plan but have a number of go to dinners that cycle around.
It works for us as we are both pretty relaxed about money, earn enough between us that it’s not a stretch to pay for things, have no kids and don’t lead an extravagant life.

Knitting, sugar is sugar, naturally occurring or added.

@dimsum123 agreed. I am not disputing that at all. However added sugar has no nutritional value whatsoever whereas naturally occurring sugar specifically in many variety of fruits have vitamins and minerals ranging from potassium, fibre, vitamin C, vitamin K, folate, magnesium, vitamin A, need I go on? I know what I'd rather feed my child.

We don't keep household accounts or strictly budget, because we are fortunate that we have an income that is sufficient to cover all our outgoings comfortably, but we have struggled a lot in the past so have learnt the hard way about budgeting and prioritisation.

You ask about food shopping and cooking, but I think it is often about more than that so unless you have already done it, it is worth looking at all your budget.

The Moneysavingexpert money makeover is a systematic way to go through all aspects of your spending to see where you can cut outgoings, increase income and leave more money for disposable income. Also sign up to their weekly newsletter for ongoing tips to save money or pick up little bonus extras like cashback for changing bank accounts.

Many people don't plan for annual and irregular expenses for example, so struggle when the washing machine needs replacing or car needs repairing for example, but the fact is that if you have a car or a house (or pets) they will need money spending on them sooner or later so you need to save every month to account for this. Also things like Christmas, holidays, insurance etc. These things can cost the average family, when averaged out over the year, hundreds of pounds a month, so are not insignificant costs.

But with food, things that tend to mean you spend more than you think is waste, not planning ahead and the cost of food and drink bought on the go, which is obviously far more expensive than taking food from home.

The best way to save money is either to shop at Aldi or Lidl, or if you can't get to these supermarkets, get as much as possible on special offer and stock up so you never have to pay full price. For fruit and veg, buy seasonal. Buying berries and asparagus in winter is always going to be expensive.

Use your freezer and batch cook, to avoid waste. Wasted food is just money in the bin. If I'm at work in the office (I also travel around once or twice a week) my lunch is usually leftovers. Lunch out can add up hugely especially if you do it regularly and go to places like Pret that are more expensive than places like Greggs or supermarkets.

I have always been appalling with money. It literally burns a hole in my pocket. What works now for us is to restrict access to money that is not for discretionary spend.

We have worked out a high level annual budget so mortgage, 3k for holiday, 1k for house emergencies, 600 for me to get my hair done x 4, back to school costs plus all our direct debits. This sum is transferred to an account as soon as I get paid monthly. I also include about 300 on this transfer for "later in the month".

Then we do a huge online shop on the 1st for around 300 with all our dry goods meats and fish for the month - this allows us to just buy fruit/veg and dairy weekly.

I also put cash into my local petrol station card for petrol during the month.

Despite having a good salary I'm usually left with about 400 after all that for our one date night a month, work lunches, clothes purchases, party gifts etc, going out with our friends, any other discretionary spend. My husband is paid about 200 weekly and we use that for the weekly shop (65) and family spending plus he pays for a cleaner fortnightly.

I always dip into the money I've put aside for later in the month by the start of week 3.

This works for us because we always have food, bills are paid and if we run out of cash we just find free things to do!

Have you tried a CAP money course. Dh and I did one 5 years ago when I was worried about my maternity leave pay. It was life changing and I still follow the general idea now even though we are more comfortable now. It just means I have very little money worries and it's nice not living from pay check to pay check.

I'm not going to stand in judgement of you because I have historically been pretty bad myself in this regard!

We do weekly grocery shops these days since having a baby (historically we used to live right by a super market and just buy stuff as we went along and that made it far harder to keep track). We have a reloadable card for Sainsburys which I got through work which gives us a 5%discount (look into cash back schemes btw as you can save a lot over time that way). Doing a weekly shop does help keep tabs on how much we spend overall, especially being able to compare week to week. We also do occasional batch cooks - nothing fancy, just big casseroles, chilli, that kind of thing - as it helps us to be able to eat proper food without having to spend ages cooking each night. It also probably works out cheaper than buying loads of ready meals, and if you bulk buy things like meat, tinned tomatoes etc whilst on multi buy it works out cheaper anyway.

I'm a Diet Coke addict and probably spunk quite a bit on casual soft drinks whilst out and about so we've started buying those in bulk too and I try to remember to take one out the fridge when I leave the house rather than just always buying individual cans whilst out and about.

Don't set yourself up to fail by expecting yourself to make massive lifestyle changes straight away but start by making some little changes here and there and build up to it. Little lifestyle changes can make a significant difference budget wise.

How do you both get to work? Could you make savings with monthly travel cards or similar?

Last February or so my DH & I completely overhauled our budget and our lifestyle in order to spend significantly less and get on top of our finances. I watched a lot of YouTube stuff like Debt Free Dana, i looked up a lot of frugal food shopping videos and info and shifted to bulk buying and buying lots of frozen vege and fruits, we always menu plan and prep in the weekends now, we invested in an instant pot and that helps enormously ( we make our own scrap stock, cook beans from dry etc etc ). I used money saving expert to cut down on insurance costs, saving over £1,000 a year on pet, personal and business/income insurances and cancelling all our subscriptions to unnecessary things.

Our teenager spends more than we like, but now also less than she did! We set a limit on how much she gets for snacks and food, you must do this or they’ll spend it all! We also got her into baking her own snacks in the weekend too. Cut down on drinks- frugal people drink water!

A good thing to do at the end of the month is to go through your bank statement together, add it all up so you know what you’re spending where and if you stuck to your budget. There are apps and things for this too. We cut our food budget by a significant amount each month- a few hundred! It is actually amazing what we used to waste money on, amazing and embarrassing!

In answer to some of your questions. Yes we try to do a big monthly shop. We are lucky to have a fairly big utility room that has lots of cupboards, so if there is a good offer on - pasta, toilet rolls, t bags etc, we bulk buy and keep a good stock of things. Don't drink so that saves money. When I'm making things like Shepherd's pie or Lasagne, I'll make 2 so will freeze one so that helps timewise for busy days. We don't buy a coffee on the way to work or lunch out, always take your own lunch to work.
Dh does a spreadsheet for expenses so we know how we are doing for the month.