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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to get signed off sick for this long?

86 replies

owlpacker · 24/06/2019 18:54

Hi, long time lurker but have an issue I can’t wrap my head around and had to post. Hoping someone with good HR/employment law knowledge or a similar experience might be able to help!

My DH suffered a seizure last week. It was very unexpected and a shock to us all. To keep a long story short, as a result, he has had his driving license suspended for 6 months. This is a huge issue as he works at a job that is impossible to get to without a car - and I mean impossible. There are no buses or trains within walking distance; the nearest train stop would still leave him half an hour away by car. I work 45 mins in the opposite direction so can’t drop him off. We have recently moved and now live 1hr 15 commute each way from his work so a taxi isn’t financially viable either.

Currently, he is signed off sick because the seizure has aggravated a previous shoulder injury caused by a car accident a couple of years ago and he is unable to carry out his job. Not to mention, he can barely seem to remember his own name!

My concern is that his work are already calling asking how he plans to get himself into work when he is well enough, but I just can’t see this job being an option for him at all. He was looking for another job nearer to home anyway and will continue to do so, but would it be unreasonable to continue being signed off sick until his driving license is reinstated or he finds another job?

To clarify, he does qualify for company sick pay (basically full pay) for 3 months and we cannot afford to pay the mortgage without his salary. We feel terribly guilty at the thought of having him signed off sick a week at a time for 3 months with his employer breathing down our necks, but I just can’t see another option?

TIA for your advice

OP posts:
Winchestermom35 · 24/06/2019 19:01

No advice, but I was off sick for around 3 months a couple of years ago.
I went back on a very long phased return. Would that be an option when he’s well enough? Maybe get a train/bus then follow up with a taxi. Worth having a real scout on how to make it possible, even if just to make it seem like he intends to return while he keeps looking elsewhere.

IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 24/06/2019 19:02

Surely whether he’s off sick or not depends on his fitness to work and do his job? Not whether he can get there or not? So if your DH felt well enough to work in say 4 weeks time are you saying he’d lie to the doctor about his symptoms in order to extend his sick note?

MyOpinionIsValid · 24/06/2019 19:06

Are you in a position to invoke your ill health mortgage protection?

Who notified the DVLA? Amongst other things my DH had a succession of strokes, and is on anti convulsants, I haven't notified DVLA - he isn't and wont drive - because we were advised not to as it is a bugger of a job to get the licence back again.

He will be signed off for as long as the GP deems him unfit for work.. his employers shouldn't be calling with these questions. Why is he signed off a week at a time? DH is signed off for 12 weeks at a time and has been for the past 18 months

Di11y · 24/06/2019 19:08

getting to work is not the basis on which he'll get a sick note. assuming the gp isn't worried in a couple of weeks he won't get another note surely?

needsomesleepy · 24/06/2019 19:12

You can't get signed off sick because you live too far away from work though?

His doctor will only sign him off if he is medically unfit to work

EleanorAbernathy · 24/06/2019 19:12

Have a look at the Access To Work scheme - he may be a to claim money for taxis or other transport if not able to drive. I spoke to them a whole back and although I didn't go through with a claim in the end they were very helpful.

You need doctor's evidence that you can't get there any other way, and then for taxis you need to get quotes from 3 different companies. You have to pay a certain amount per mile yourself but they make up the rest.

MyMushroomsInATimeSlip · 24/06/2019 19:13

Check out government website 'access to work' to check eligibility for grants for transport to and from work

Peterpiperpickedwrong · 24/06/2019 19:14

but would it be unreasonable to continue being signed off sick until his driving license is reinstated or he finds another job?

Yes totally UR if he is fit to do his actual job. Not being able to drive to work isn’t a reason to have his sick note extended.
Coach, train then taxi, lift share. Not being able to jump in the car to conveniently get to work sounds like a nightmare but it isn’t something a company should be continuing to pay sick pay for.

user1488622199 · 24/06/2019 19:14

Have you looked at access to work? It’s a government funded scheme to support people with long term illness attending work by funding transport (minus a contribution equivalent to your normal commuting costs) and/or specialist equipment if required. Your husband may not qualify if there is a possibility of him getting his license back in 6 months but I would suggest it’s worth looking into.

EyesOpenWide · 24/06/2019 19:15

Your GP should only be signing him off as unfit to work if he is unfit to work.

How he gets himself to work is none of the GP’s concern.

ch3rrycola · 24/06/2019 19:16

No work mates able to collect him from train station/bus stop?

Lazypuppy · 24/06/2019 19:17

If he is fit to work a doctor isn't going to sign him off sick is he.

Redglitter · 24/06/2019 19:18

Problem you'll potentially have is the doctor isn't going to keep signing him off just because he can't drive that's not going to factor into it. As soon as the doctor says hes fit to work that'll be it & it'll be down to your husband to sort out. If the doctor is only issuing a line for a week it sounds like hell be saying hes fit sooner rather than later.

FriarTuck · 24/06/2019 19:18

Surely whether he’s off sick or not depends on his fitness to work and do his job?
This ^^. Hmm And people wonder why others aren't supportive off those being signed off sick....

Bananallama858 · 24/06/2019 19:18

Surely your DH can't decide to be signed off work because it's too far to travel? He needs to remain off work until the doctor deems him fit enough to go back, then he needs to find an alternative way. Would any of his colleagues be able to pick him up from the station? In the meantime, he can search for and apply for other jobs, when he's feeling up to it of course.
Wishing him a speedy recovery.

Original poster
owlpacker · 24/06/2019 19:20

Sorry, didn’t phrase that quite right. He IS unfit for work and (I think, knowing his injury history) unlikely to be better in a week; he can barely move his upper body atm. But his employer’s questions have panicked me a little about what options we have when he is better.

Phased return is a good suggestion, as is looking into our insurance options. Thank you :)

OP posts:
Oneminuteandthenallgone · 24/06/2019 19:24

rent a room locally?

Lazypuppy · 24/06/2019 19:24

He's unfit now, but he is unlikely to he unfit for the whole 3 months if the doc is only signing him off week by week

Basketofkittens · 24/06/2019 19:24

The OP has said that there are NO public transport options. Not everybody lives with decent public transport!

Not the same situation but when I broke a bone in my foot, my consultant signed me off sick for 6 weeks. I couldn’t physically get to work but by a couple of weeks in I could have worked in theory. But I couldn’t get into the office via public transport with crutches and a cast.

TSSDNCOP · 24/06/2019 19:29

Do his employers have their long-term sickness policy available on their website?

If not, ask for a copy from HR.

Read it thoroughly and also the section on whether the company can review his ability to do his job if he's medically incapacitated.

Go back to GP and have him assessed as to whether fit to work or not.

Does the Company have an OH referral service that he can talk to as his medical certificate reaches its end date? That would indicate whether a phased return would be appropriate.

Meanwhile. Research the schemes upthread and start to put out feelers for car-pooling where you contribute to the drivers petrol. He might be able to use public transport to reach a handy pick up point.

AwkwardPaws27 · 24/06/2019 19:31

As you say, he IS unfit currently - and presumably will be for some weeks yet?
I'd just be firm with the employer that how he gets to work is not currently a concern - the concern now is getting him better. You need to keep the informed but a phone call once a week should be sufficient, they shouldn't be hassling you.

EyesOpenWide · 24/06/2019 19:32

We all got that there is NO public transport, yeah.

Surely when you take a job that you know is physically unreachable unless you have a car, you put a plan in place.... for if your car is off the road, or you can’t drive for some reason.

Bananallama858 · 24/06/2019 19:32

@Basketofkittens OP said the nearest station would still leave him half an hour away by car - not ideal but it is possible.

Original poster
owlpacker · 24/06/2019 19:32

Thanks for all your suggestions - just doing bath and bed for the DC and will come back and read properly later.

OP posts:
Blondieg · 24/06/2019 19:33

So in total you want him signed off for 6 months?? Regardless of if he's fit? Totally unreasonable.

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