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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to get signed off sick for this long?

86 replies

owlpacker · 24/06/2019 18:54

Hi, long time lurker but have an issue I can’t wrap my head around and had to post. Hoping someone with good HR/employment law knowledge or a similar experience might be able to help!

My DH suffered a seizure last week. It was very unexpected and a shock to us all. To keep a long story short, as a result, he has had his driving license suspended for 6 months. This is a huge issue as he works at a job that is impossible to get to without a car - and I mean impossible. There are no buses or trains within walking distance; the nearest train stop would still leave him half an hour away by car. I work 45 mins in the opposite direction so can’t drop him off. We have recently moved and now live 1hr 15 commute each way from his work so a taxi isn’t financially viable either.

Currently, he is signed off sick because the seizure has aggravated a previous shoulder injury caused by a car accident a couple of years ago and he is unable to carry out his job. Not to mention, he can barely seem to remember his own name!

My concern is that his work are already calling asking how he plans to get himself into work when he is well enough, but I just can’t see this job being an option for him at all. He was looking for another job nearer to home anyway and will continue to do so, but would it be unreasonable to continue being signed off sick until his driving license is reinstated or he finds another job?

To clarify, he does qualify for company sick pay (basically full pay) for 3 months and we cannot afford to pay the mortgage without his salary. We feel terribly guilty at the thought of having him signed off sick a week at a time for 3 months with his employer breathing down our necks, but I just can’t see another option?

TIA for your advice

OP posts:

KnifeAngel · 24/06/2019 19:36

A doctor will only sign him off sick if he is genuinely sick. How he gets to work has nothing to do with it. I can't see the doctor signing off for 6 months. Plus it always takes longer to get the licence back than they say. My DH only had 12 weeks off after a heart attack. The GP wasn't willing to give longer.

HisBetterHalf · 24/06/2019 19:39

could he lift share with anyone?

needsomesleepy · 24/06/2019 19:40

He IS unfit for work and (I think, knowing his injury history) unlikely to be better in a week;

But you want him to be signed off for 6?

EyesOpenWide · 24/06/2019 19:41

She wants him signed off for six months

would it be unreasonable to continue being signed off sick until his driving license is reinstated or he finds another job?

LikeDolphinsCanSwin · 24/06/2019 19:41

He can’t be signed off for 6 months because of not being able to drive to work. There is no chance of his GP doing that.

Ated · 24/06/2019 19:46

Move into a local B&B & walk, look for a local lift share in your area and start looking for another job now.

jennymanara · 24/06/2019 19:47

Access to work scheme refused to help us and just said DP could get a taxi to work.

Damia · 24/06/2019 19:47

I would look into car shares. Either people from his work or just others who work in that area. I think that there are car share websites

rainbowbash · 24/06/2019 19:50

This is not how getting signed off works. A fit note is not about the ability to get to work - it's about the ability to carry out the actual work.

jennymanara · 24/06/2019 19:50

OP unless your GP is willing to lie for you, unlikely, they will only sign him off while he is unfit to work or unfit to travel to work. The fact that it is nowhere near public transport is irrelevant for a sick note.
Are there any favours you can call in to get someone to give him a lift to work? Or if he can get to the train station, is there a colleague who goes that way who would give him a lift?

ComeAndDance · 24/06/2019 19:51

You need to have a word with his GP or consultant to see how long they think it will take for him to be ok to go to work. To stay off work for that long, he will need a doctor certificate anyway.
After that, if he is off sick. He just is. Whether he will be able to go back to work afterwards or not is a different issue.

FWIW, if he unfit for work at his job, he will also / unfit for work in a job nearby so I would say that finding something nearer just now will be a challenge to say the least.

CurbsideProphet · 24/06/2019 19:52

Has your DH had a diagnosis / are there plans for further investigations? If he's had a seizure out of the blue he surely isn't fit for work until there's a certain level of reassurance that he won't have another seizure suddenly.
(I have epilepsy and although I'm 100% controlled now the beginning stages were scary and bewildering. I couldn't remember anything at all, not even my own phone number. )

rainbowbash · 24/06/2019 19:55

Also, from experience, work will probably start some procedures which will involve OH assessments. it's not just as simple as getting a sick note for long term absences

Passthecherrycoke · 24/06/2019 19:56

“EyesOpenWide

We all got that there is NO public transport, yeah.

Surely when you take a job that you know is physically unreachable unless you have a car, you put a plan in place.... for if your car is off the road, or you can’t drive for some reason.”

Eh? Of course you don’t!

OP could he do some kind of temp/
Consultancy work when he’s better? Is it usual for his work to be in these sorts of isolated areas? I work in a businsss park completely unreachable from my house by public transport but could find work elsewhere

KatieHack · 24/06/2019 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumwon · 24/06/2019 19:59

nb he cant remember anything
his seizure has done damage to shoulder
he will need his epilepsy to be under the control of medication
all of which will need time which op cannot control/or have any knowledge of time frame for fitness to work
don't hurry let gp/specialist advise
its complicated

Deuxcaggages · 24/06/2019 20:03

What happens after the 3 months sick pay runs out, is it half pay ?

It sounds like you’re gonna struggle anyway if he can’t get back into work after 3 months.

Hope he’s feeling better soon and you sort something out.

Ilovemylabrador · 24/06/2019 20:04

I’d approach it a different way.
Is the seizure connected to anything? Stress at work etc?

I go down the line of I want to be back sooner rather than later - can HR help with a taxi there and back or support in that way? Can anyone give him a lift from work can HR email staff to find out. Explain about the public transport problems etc and try and find a working solution for everyone x

RevealTheLegend · 24/06/2019 20:05

Surely when you take a job that you know is physically unreachable unless you have a car, you put a plan in place.... for if your car is off the road, or you can’t drive for some reason.

Not if you live in the area end of nowhere, no. You have to accept you are fucked till you can drive and deal with it accordingly

Idontwanttotalk · 24/06/2019 20:09

Sadly, however difficult it may be for your DH to get to work, once he is declared fit he will need to find a way of getting there.

Perhaps you could speak to his employer about this as they may be able to offer a temporary arrangement to help him until his licence is returned. Perhaps another employee could help?

You really can't expect him to be signed off for 6 months if he will be fit to work after, say, 1 month. That is not what sick pay is for.

Are you sure work aren't trying to assess if he needs some help in getting to work?

Is there any way you could ask for different hours on a temporary basis in order to drive DH to the train station when he is fit and then continue to work?

I can't see what else you can do.

Idontwanttotalk · 24/06/2019 20:17

"Surely when you take a job that you know is physically unreachable unless you have a car, you put a plan in place.... for if your car is off the road, or you can’t drive for some reason."

"Not if you live in the area end of nowhere, no. You have to accept you are fucked till you can drive and deal with it accordingly"

When you move to an area out in the sticks you need to have a plan B for how to get to work when the car is out of action. If no plan B then don't move there.

Original poster

owlpacker · 24/06/2019 20:18

To clear up some confusion - I definitely don’t want him signed off for 6 months if at all possible!! He wouldn’t get paid for that anyway and we’d be in real financial trouble. Hopefully it won’t come to that.

I suppose the way I should have phrased that element of the question was - is being stopped from driving for a medical reason cause to be signed off? To which the answer is a clear no so don’t worry, we obviously won’t be going down that route if that’s not how it works!

Curb side - we are awaiting further tests. I think this is what has gotten me worried. I’m a planner and work asking us to look ahead when we don’t even have a reason or diagnosis of any kind has left me reeling a bit, and DH of course. Hope that you are managing well with it now, the uncertainty is the most terrifying thing we’ve ever faced!

ComeAndDance - that’s a very sensible suggestion; it would really help both us and his employer if we had a rough time scale to work with, will ask what kind of recovery time we could expect for this sort of illness.

The reason the doctor has only signed off for a week is because the doctor hasn’t even received the notes from the hospital yet so needs more to go on than speaking to DH on the phone in order to sign off on a longer period. I have no doubt they will sign him off for longer when they see the level of pain he’s in so I suppose I may be worrying prematurely about some of this anyway. Not to mention, the doctors have said to avoid him working alone until the cause has been established or they can confidently say it won’t happen again.

EyesOpenWide - I’m sure you have the good sense to consider every possible scenario that could happen in the future when choosing a job. Unfortunately, we have savings for potential car problems but did not consider this possibility! He is a healthy man in his mid 30s, you just don’t contemplate these things happening, much as we should have. Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn’t it?!

Katie - thanks for your lovely response. Not an option unfortunately, but a good suggestion!

Thanks so much for your helpful suggestions and well wishes. We will certainly look into the scheme mentioned and I’m relieved to hear from some that we can tell the employer our primary concern at the moment is his well-being and we will cross the transport bridge when we get to it. That’s my view currently anyway.

OP posts:

Greysparkles · 24/06/2019 20:18

Get a bike?

EleanorReally · 24/06/2019 20:19

Rent a room/B & B locally, sounds a good option

NannyRed · 24/06/2019 20:21

Would it be possible to rent a room closer to his job.
Not ideal for him to be away Monday to Friday, but surely better than having no job. Maybe one of his colleagues would appreciate the extra cash. Just a thought. You could take him early Monday or Sunday night, pick him up as he finishes on Friday.
You can not seriously expect him to be on the sick for 6 months with his employer paying sick pay if he is not poorly. Also, if he stays on the sick for 6 months, the doctors may well recommend he hands his driving licence back for good.

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