Smoking and newborns

[sh13]

I have a 3 week old baby and I am going to a family event for the OH’s side, I know majority of cousins etc smoke and are going to want to pass around my baby ,I’m not comfortable with this as I worry about the sids risk and the smoke on there clothes and hands. I had a tough labour an nearly lost him which probably contributes , but just wondered if anyone thinks this is over the top of me to feel this way ?

Yanbu

Say in advance - print off something from the nhs if you need to. Or don't go. You're being a good parent by keeping your baby away from smoke!

You are correct to be concerned.

Will smoking be outside?
If so don't go outside with baby, if smoking was inside I would be making excuses not to attend..

If they are smoking outside and wash there hands (and they don't stink of it) your baby will be fine, or ask them to put a coat on when they go out and take it of before they hold baby? X

Just don't go, sweetie.

I wouldn't go tbh. I ouldnt ant baby passed round regardless of smoke.

Not at all.

I wouldnt go. They are going to think you are precious and you cant avoid those who had s smoke and walking around. I wouldnt expose my 3 week old and put myself through that stress for the sake of any event.

I'm one of the least "PFB" people I know and I wouldn't be happy to go to an event with so many smokers even now that DS is 8 months old. I simply wouldn't go (you can easily blame "tiredness" at this newborn stage!).

I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all, and I think I’d not go myself. I hope you aren’t put under any pressure. xx

Yeah I agree. You are absolutely not being unreasonable. I would probably make my excuses and give it a miss if you can.

I never let anyone smokey around my DS, and I still don't.

Don’t go, seriously. He’s tiny and you’re vulnerable. Wait till he’s older and you’re feeling more up to being assertive.

Don't go. Make an excuse on the day if that's easier.

Yup, just don't go. It astonishes me how few people seem to know about the risk from having smoked then holding a baby.

Yep DD is 7 months old and I still don’t let smokers hold her. Fortunately hardly anyone in our family smokes. So it was easy and the odd one that Dora’s has always politely said they won’t hold her, which I have really appreciated.

Does not Dora’s 🙈🤷🏼‍♀️

I'd just come down with a cold that day.

YANBU. I either wouldn't go, or wouldn't let others hold my baby whilst there.

People forget that babies are not a toy to be passed around, they're you're child. Stand your ground if anyone makes a comment.

YANBU about the smoking, but reconsider going if you can. A baby that young has a weak immune system, and everyone will be wanting to get up close with the baby. And with all the anti-vaxxers out there, there's a significant rise in carriers of whooping cough, rubella, and other things that can be a disaster for a baby.

Don't go. It's not just the actual smoke and stinky fingers you need to worry about. Smokers breathe out more carbon monoxide than non-smokers even when not actually smoking. (Which is also a major reason smokers are not supposed to co-sleep).

My late Mother chain-smoked and i avoided taking my baby to see her which made me feel guilty but she would never stop smoking even for me or her newborn grandson. I remember the very few occasions i braved it and went with my baby to see her, i had to leave pretty quickly as DS was actually coughing from the smoke. I never took him again and she passed away from lung cancer three years ago. It was horrendous as she was my mum and i was torn between the guilt of not seeing her and protecting my newborn.
I would certainly make up an excuse and not go. Good luck

If you do go OP then keep baby in a sling on you. Your lovely baby isn’t a toy who needs passing around

Wow Thanks everyone I’m not being unreasonable then! Unfortunately as much as I’d love too not go I don’t think I can get out of it as OH’s parents have organised it all and I’ve put off the cousins for a while , it is going to be outside , the only thing I can think of is buying a hand sanitizer and saying if you smoke can you use this as I am worried about SIDS.. I agree they’ll think I’m precious though, I do find it hard to be assertive 😓

And also I agree with passing the baby around I can’t STAND it ! It makes me feel anxious thinking of everyone passing him around like a toy! Any tips on how to be assertive on taking him back ?
X

I used to wear DD in a sling then people couldn’t grab her. If they asked I’d just say “oh she’s sleeping / settled now, maybe later” and change the topic