Smoking and newborns

[sh13]

I have a 3 week old baby and I am going to a family event for the OH’s side, I know majority of cousins etc smoke and are going to want to pass around my baby ,I’m not comfortable with this as I worry about the sids risk and the smoke on there clothes and hands. I had a tough labour an nearly lost him which probably contributes , but just wondered if anyone thinks this is over the top of me to feel this way ?

@IDontDrinkTea

That’s a good idea thank you hopefully my sling turns up in time ! X

Ok if you have to go then use a sling. Keep him in it all the time. You don’t have to let anyone hold him if you don’t want to.

Just don’t go! So what if your Pils have organised it. You’ve just given birth!! Your newborn baby is deep in the fourth trimester and shouldn’t be being passed around like a pass the parcel anyway let alone a bunch of smokers (over my dead body!!)

I’m afraid you have to woman-up my dear and stand up for your baby first and foremost, even if others disapprove/disagree....welcome to motherhood!!

I'm a smoker, I wouldn't go unless there was a get out area. I certainly would insist on hand washing and not smelling so about 20 - 30 mins after a cig.
If it's a family doo and more kids suggest a smoking and no smoking area.
Smokers front of house/ driveway. The back no smoking.

Also yes to the sling! It’s stops the grabbers

I wouldn't go if I were you. Say you're unwell if need be. You don't need the worry.

Omg this really brings back bad memories! I also had a bad labour and was super hormonal. My horrible tactless family thought it was their right to pick up my baby from his pram when i was trying to settle him, tell me to ignore him when he was crying for me to be fed and even once someone ran off with him whilst he was screaming for me! DH had to go and rescue him. Honestly the amount of idiots who think they know best when its YOUR baby is astounding!! I'd never dream of doing any of these things so whatever possesses them?! I think my advice would be if you can't get out of it, keep him close to you and stay distant as poss! If you have a DP or DH with you, get him clued up on what to do beforehand! Good luck x

Yes to sling or wrap. Baby will love it then the only reason you need to take them out is to feed them

Number one priority is your baby. Screw what family and in laws think.

You're going to face more situations a bit like this where your view of what's best and theirs clash, start as you mean to go on by trusting your instincts.

A whole group of people where many smoke and there's a bit of alcohol involved are probably not going to be respectful of your wishes, in all honesty. Even in a sling there will be pressure on you to show the baby off.

I'd just not go. Baby comes first.

Forgive my ignorance but what's the risk from clothes/hands being smoky?

If hands and clothes are smokey then surely the people they belong to will be?

You have had asthma since you fell pregnant - HAVENT YOU OP :) pity because smoking really affects you badly & you have to leave room (hint hint)

Yanbu at all! I lost my temper regarding this when my ds was newborn with my FIL. He actually sat there sulking and refused to hold my son afterwards. I also couldn't stand the smell of other peoples perfume or aftershave on both my newborns...maybe im the precious one . Just be firm and stick to your guns. Good luck x

You are def NBU. Your new beautiful baby does not need their passive smoke.
I would either a) not go - these first few weeks are important for you and little one. Steph Douglas (Dontbuyherflowers) on Instagram wrote a wonderful article on ‘Lifting up the Drawbridge’ ie just concentrating on yourselves and staying in bed even if needs be or
b) if you have to go, get a sling or tell them no. Just a quick google will enlighten them as to why you don’t want them cooing over your LO with smoke still in their lungs xxxx

If he's only 3 weeks, I'd stay at home. Its ok if it's one or two people, but it sounds like there are going to be loads of people there.

I wouldn’t go. Hand sanitiser won’t be enough - Smoke hangs around on the smoker for a long time after they have smoked.
Don’t feel pressured into it if you aren’t comfortable.

If you have to go, I would prewarn everyone on a message "please don't be offended but I won't be passing the baby round for everyone to hold, they are not a toy, if you want to meet the baby you can come visit our home, but at this party they will stay with me or in their pram"

In the nicest way possible hand sanitizer won't wash off the chemicals from cigarettes.

Just leave it till the day and come down with a "bug" op. You can put off whoever you like, you've just had a baby.

I HATED people touching my babies. I would get so anxious.

3 weeks?!

Don't go!

Your wishes about how to handle this will be impossible to enforce.
Show your DH the NHS guidelines.

We only know one couple who smoke, when they came to visit DS he was about the same age, they visited for a few hours and only had one cigarette in that time (outside with doors shut). When they came back in they washed their hands and took their coats off but it was the male of the couple who said 'no more picking the baby up now for us, you breathe more carbon dioxide and other chemicals can linger on your breath'. He has no DC, I was pleasantly surprised. My face must've shown it, he said I read up before we came and we made sure we didn't smoke after we got showered and dressed to come here.
Just tell them your HV has said for no smokers to hold the baby due to excess carbon dioxide and other chemicals, given he's had such a difficult start.

Forgive my ignorance but what's the risk from clothes/hands being smoky?

All the chemicals hang about on them and can be breathed in from them too. Is called third hand smoke

www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/concern-over-third-hand-smoke/

www.thoracic.org/patients/patient-resources/resources/second-hand-smoke.pdf

www.healthychildren.org/english/health-issues/conditions/tobacco/pages/how-parents-can-prevent-exposure-thirdhand-smoke.aspx

nicotine hangs around on clothes it is a vasoconstrictor it means that restricts the oxygen going into the lungs & baby lungs are particularly vulnerable