Person A is from Asia originally, and takes their spouse and children back to their home to visit fairly regularly (once a year or once every two years. The trip is usually around 4-6 weeks long.
Person B wants to stay with their parents in their family home, while visiting. Parents live with grandparents and Party A's sister and baby. It's very important to parents that Person A stays in the house due to traditional reasons (would be seen as upsetting and embarrassing for them if Person A, spouse and children stayed in a hotel - it's bad enough culturally that they don't live in their house all year round!
Person B is fine to visit but does not want to stay in the house. Has stayed there on every other visit and been frankly bored. The house is very crowded with 5 other adults living there and one other baby. Person B is not from this culture and thinks that staying in a hotel would be better because it's more fun for them and the children, and has more of a holiday vibe rather than sitting in the house all day while Person A is recruited by parents to help out with jobs/goes to visit old friends. Person B cannot go out without Person A (due to transport and safety reasons) so is 'stuck in the house' if Party A goes out alone.
Party B feels that staying in a hotel would be much more fun for them and the kids as there would be a pool, a play area, a bar/restaurant, etc. Says the family could still visit parents every day, but could also have more of a holiday experience if staying in a hotel.
Person B is also concerned because Person A's parents home is not at all childproof - front and back door are left open between the hours of 7am - 7pm due to this being necessary to cool the house. Front door leads to a driveway with no gate and so easy access to the road (roads in this country are even more dangerous than usual and also more sinister problems like child snatchings which have been a problem in the city in the not-very-distant past) and the back door leads to a sheer drop with a small rickety staircase in the middle to lead down to the garden. The house is also not baby-proof with wires galore, no baby-gates on sharp, tiled stairs etc. At the bottom of the garden is a huge lake with only a very low wall between the garden and the lake, which also isn't safe.
Person B feels resentful that when Person A goes out without them, to help with jobs or for whatever reason (this happens often, almost daily) they will be left in the house and unable to relax because of the dangerous setting which means Person B is constantly on edge and that they and children have to just wait in the main living area as the rest of the house and garden is unsafe. This gets boring for them very quickly.
Person A thinks that the best solution is to pay for the house and garden to be childproofed. Person B says that if this involved nothing but buying a few baby-gates etc then they wouldn't mind, but realistically it would involve walling in the garden, putting up a front gate, sorting out the sheer drop, building new steps in the garden, and would cost around £2000.
Person A says this is no problem as they will probably inherit the house and land one day so it's not a waste of money, and that if they pay £2000 to childproof it, they can stay there every year.
Person A says it's ridiculous to spend £2000 doing work to someone else's house and garden and it's better and will be more fun just to get a hotel. Spending £2000 to stay somewhere they don't want to stay doesn't really appeal either!
Person A thinks Person B is being a bit selfish and not understanding their culture, which says that Person A and Person B should both be living in the house, not just living in another country and coming back for holidays, so this is the least they can do! Person A feels that their parents will be deeply hurt and embarrassed if they take a hotel. They think it is just a few weeks of the year, and they should suck it up.
Person B understands and doesn't want to hurt Person A's parents but wants to have a relaxing holiday too, as they work hard all year and as they can only afford one holiday a year, they think the trip should be a compromise of what they all want.
Person B says they and the kids are bored being stuck in the house, and as it's not childproof theyre always a bit on edge. There's no privacy and although they have their own room to sleep in, during the day this is a communal room so no private space during the daytime hours at all. Person B appreciates that Person A does try to make the trip fun, but finds staying in someone else's crowded, non-childproofed house, having no privacy, and feeling stuck indoors most of the time to not be a fun holiday which quite frankly they feel they deserve after all their hard work the rest of the year. It's not a short holiday (if it was a week or so it would be different of course) and Person A's family don't speak good English so although there are people around constantly, they feel a bit bored because the conversation is always in the native language which isn't much fun either.
I think it's pretty obvious who Person A and Person B is - but I wanted to attempt to be a bit neutral! (Not sure I've done a great job of it though!) Who is being unreasonable and WWYD?